• February 15, 2012
SENATE

Lieberman Harvesting Human Embryos To Vote For McCain

by Jim Newell

3:32 pm June 5, 2008

Terrible Sen. Joe Lieberman mustn’t have “gotten the message” when Barry Obama beat him up on the Senate Floor yesterday. Instead of backing off Obama, Lieberman is now growing advanced human embryos that will mature into 18-year-olds over the course of 5 months, at which point they will have the option of either voting for McCain or being sent to Iraq. Two of these options will send them to Iraq.

{ 32 comments }

shortsshortsshorts June 5, 2008 at 3:36 pm

I’m going with unknown option “C,” Canada.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 5, 2008 at 3:37 pm

Well, at least they will be citizens. I guess McCain has really turned his back on imigration policy.

Diadhuit June 5, 2008 at 3:38 pm

Nah, Joe Lieberman isn’t charismatic enough to be a pod person.

Serolf Divad June 5, 2008 at 3:38 pm

I believe their called Homonuclei. So this is how McCain intends to win the presidency?

polar_bear June 5, 2008 at 3:42 pm

As long as they don’t all start blogs as terrible as Meghan’s.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl June 5, 2008 at 3:43 pm

[re=8353]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I thought we were trying to get rid of the whole “cross our border and squat your baby on our soil” thing by requiring that children be born of American parents…. which doesn’t make sense if we’re harvesting all the sperm from Charles Cameron Kingston

tunamelt June 5, 2008 at 3:44 pm

This is like the start of some creepy dystopian future sci-fi novel. I thought we were moving past that stage, what with all the Hope.

The Real JR Revisted June 5, 2008 at 3:45 pm

Wait-

Wasn’t five years the amount of time the Kamino Cloners needed to grow a million plus army of clones of the Republic? No, I’m serious.

So are you saying that once McCain has risen to power, Lieberman will then utter “Order 66″ thus turning the clones against the Repubs and Jedi-like Obamanians alike creating a sinister Empire of IndependentDemoRepublicanistas?

Again, I’m serious.

floraway June 5, 2008 at 3:46 pm

Everyone should go to Kos right now and fight the battle of making fun of McCain’s teeth.

Diadhuit June 5, 2008 at 3:46 pm

[re=8368]The Real JR Revisted[/re]: Nope, they’ll be called the Empire of “Paultards,” which are basically the same thing.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl June 5, 2008 at 3:47 pm

[re=8368]The Real JR Revisted[/re]: Well, I’m sure the five years included training. BUT, if perhaps liebs has been working with the bush administration all this time to get ready for november… 4 more years might be more than a simple slander by the libs

Edward Bulwer-Lytton June 5, 2008 at 3:52 pm

Maybe teh Obamanz will box him into a corner and geet him back on the bus.

blogfather June 5, 2008 at 3:56 pm

[re=8370]floraway[/re]: you mean ‘teef.

Humble Pi June 5, 2008 at 4:00 pm

It’s win-win for McCain. Once the 18 year olds vote for him this year, they’re expendable. It’s not like he’ll still be alive to run for a second term.

loquaciousmusic June 5, 2008 at 4:00 pm

Old, bitter Connecticut Democrats voted for Lieberman over Lamont, and look what happened.

Now these same old, bitter Connecticut Democrats are going to vote for McCain over Obama.

They can lick my taint, these old, bitter Connecticut Democrats.

Tits_LaRue June 5, 2008 at 4:05 pm

I’m pretty sure there is a Firesign Theatre skit about this from 30 years ago…

jagorev June 5, 2008 at 4:12 pm

[re=8403]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Connecticut isn’t really bitter – it’s the wealthiest state in the country, after all – even though it has some (fiscally) conservative leanings. Basically, no one would live in Connecticut if it weren’t for the low taxes, but liking low taxes doesn’t mean that you’re a right-winger.

Keep in mind that Obama’s super popular with the elites and latte sippers, he’s raised more money than anyone else from the financial industry, and Connecticut is full of those hedge fund and ibank types – basically, wealthy liberals who don’t like paying taxes. I doubt that McCain has any chance there

TGY June 5, 2008 at 4:14 pm

Hm. Lieberman as the McCain Borg overmind. We’ve come a long way from Julius Caesar’s time, so I’d just recommend Lieberman be either pantsed or given a nuclear wedgie on the floor of the senate. With videos posted on teh Youtubes, of course.

shortsshortsshorts June 5, 2008 at 4:20 pm

[re=8423]jagorev[/re]: You fail to mention that it’s the most boring state on earth. Everything closes at 5 p.m. (I was stuck at Elitist Prep School there).

GlennBeck' June 5, 2008 at 4:23 pm

[re=8403]loquaciousmusic[/re]: lick taint! lick taint!

shortsshortsshorts June 5, 2008 at 4:27 pm

I just got the e-mail from “my friends” at the WALNUTS camp:

“As you know, I caucus with the Democrats as a United States Senator and was the Democrat Party’s nominee for Vice-President of the United States against President Bush and Vice President Cheney. ”

And now he can be the VEEP for the Republicans too! What a Jew (no offense).

loquaciousmusic June 5, 2008 at 4:28 pm

[re=8423]jagorev[/re]: I didn’t say that McCain was going to win in Connecticut, only that the bitters will be out in force. I know — I argued with two of them yesterday.

Viva, Nutmeg State!

problemwithcaring June 5, 2008 at 4:28 pm

This man will do anything to be on ANOTHER losing ticket for the presidency….

jagorev June 5, 2008 at 4:31 pm

[re=8443]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Luxury! I went to college in rural Mass, where no bar stayed open past midnight.

shortsshortsshorts June 5, 2008 at 5:09 pm

[re=8470]jagorev[/re]: If is was anywhere around the Great Barrington area… not-so-bad. In Lieberman land our idea of a good time was tying a sled to the back of a Suburu. And pot.

jagorev June 5, 2008 at 5:24 pm

[re=8547]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: We had NO liquor stores open on Sunday. None. I still shudder to think of it.

masterdebater June 5, 2008 at 7:16 pm

[re=8353]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]:
Yea, if we grow new citizens, what will we do with our spare Mexicans?…unless the plan is to grow only RICH Americans. That could work.

shortsshortsshorts June 5, 2008 at 7:32 pm

[re=8653]masterdebater[/re]: You say spare Mexicans, but I HEAR spare tires.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 5, 2008 at 8:06 pm

[re=8360]Serolf Divad[/re]: Given Lieberman’s involvement, wouldn’t they be “golems” (or whatever the plural of golem is)?

masterdebater June 5, 2008 at 9:45 pm

[re=8663]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Been there, done that, got rid of it. They aren’t as sexy as you might think.

schvitzatura June 5, 2008 at 10:31 pm

The Republi-gholas are being squozed out of the sequestered axlotl tank-like poon of the preggers Bush twin.

He who controls the spice, controls the universe!

mrtrailsafety June 6, 2008 at 12:05 pm

I’m gonna take my gazillions of unborn to whatever Paultard Academy that will have them! Like this one!http://www.flickr.com/photos/larrygassan/2555642252/

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: