sadnessBREAKING: Hillary Clinton just conceded in a 2 a.m. email to supporters. She concedes, finally! It’s a good thing we registered at! Let’s read her cyber-concession, after the jump.

From: Hillary Clinton
Date: Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 1:52 AM
Subject: I want you to know

Dear Sandy,

I wanted you to be one of the first to know: on Saturday, I will hold an event in Washington D.C. to thank everyone who has supported my campaign. Over the course of the last 16 months, I have been privileged and touched to witness the incredible dedication and sacrifice of so many people working for our campaign. Every minute you put into helping us win, every dollar you gave to keep up the fight meant more to me than I can ever possibly tell you.

On Saturday, I will extend my congratulations to Senator Obama and my support for his candidacy. This has been a long and hard-fought campaign, but as I have always said, my differences with Senator Obama are small compared to the differences we have with Senator McCain and the Republicans.

I have said throughout the campaign that I would strongly support Senator Obama if he were the Democratic Party’s nominee, and I intend to deliver on that promise.

When I decided to run for president, I knew exactly why I was getting into this race: to work hard every day for the millions of Americans who need a voice in the White House.

I made you — and everyone who supported me — a promise: to stand up for our shared values and to never back down. I’m going to keep that promise today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life.

I will be speaking on Saturday about how together we can rally the party behind Senator Obama. The stakes are too high and the task before us too important to do otherwise.

I know as I continue my lifelong work for a stronger America and a better world, I will turn to you for the support, the strength, and the commitment that you have shown me in the past 16 months. And I will always keep faith with the issues and causes that are important to you.

In the past few days, you have shown that support once again with hundreds of thousands of messages to the campaign, and again, I am touched by your thoughtfulness and kindness.

I can never possibly express my gratitude, so let me say simply, thank you.
Love, Hillz
When Will Obama Concede? [Hillary Is 44]

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  1. I guess she really will be up to answer the phone at 3am, only she won’t because she’s too bitter and upset to talk to anybody. “Why does it keep ringing!!??? I WANT TO BE ALONE!!! (bawling, rocking back and forth in fetal position)”

  2. Fox News is mocking the John McCain speech.

    Bob Barr and Stephen Cobert have a conversation where the crazy Libertarian candidate comes across as fairly nuanced and intelligent.

    Wonkette has scooped Drudge Report.

    To quote the Discovery channel, The World Is Just Awesome.

  3. From the email, which is addressed to Sandy: “In the past few days, you have shown that support once again with hundreds of thousands of messages to the campaign….”

    Did Sandy do this personally with her own busy little post-menopausal fingers? Hundreds of thousands of messages? That Sandy is some grrrl.

  4. Well at least Hills didn’t rip off Obama’s logo (I’m talkin’ to you, WALNUTS!). Just take a look at the homepage of McCain’s website. To quote Sam Stein of HuffPost, “Is John McCain trying to be the older, whiter, more conservative Barack Obama?”

  5. Did she send Harriet one of these? Harriet probably doesn’t have a computer, so probably not. She is use to writing on stone tablets.

  6. [re=7624]AudicityofHope[/re]: I hope I look half as good as Clint Eastwood when I’m 79.

    He and Cindy look cute together, don’t they? She should have a tall, handsome husband with a future.

  7. [re=7623]Aurelio[/re]: We all know that she’s stolen Barack’s slogan. I was just referring to how Johnny also stole Barry’s logo.

    BTW, it’s more like:
    AUDIENCE- Yes she ca…will!! Yes She wi…can!! Yes she cill!! Yes she will can!!! Yes she can will!! Yes she can kill!! YES SHE WILL KILL!!!

  8. Thank you for that hilarious accentuation on Hillary’s non-refundable “I will win you mother fuckers but look at the black man and his little delegate count” e-mail.

    [re=7625]Ken Layne[/re]: I hope you had better luck than me. I couldn’t get through the “there’s an error in your information” area. Something about being Bob Dole, living on Bob Dole Street in Dole, California.

  9. [re=7624]AudicityofHope[/re]: Cindy (in a stage whisper) “Shit, you already took the Viagra? Well you have a half-hour to take the catheter out, so you’d better hurry.”

  10. [re=7630]Ken Layne[/re]: Maybe he can share his skin care regimen secrets with WALNUTS!

    I’m sure that’s what Cindy was thinkin’ as she wrapped her arm around Dirty Harry’s waist.

    BTW, I like Clint Eastwood. I would just like him more if he weren’t supporting a psychotic cadaver.

  11. “And I will slaughter your cattle and salt your fields. Apart from than that, I will watch you crawl to your grave.”

    Expressing beneficence is a sign of character. Unless you sre sn old and prune-puckerd fembot waiting in the wings with a hatchet.

    Next stop: Denver.

  12. You know, with regards to this now-just-starting campaign against John McCain, while frank policy discussions are important, we really need a new slogan for Obamer.

    What do you peoples think of something like,
    “John McCain: The Anti-Hope”?
    Or something to that effect.
    Maybe do an offshoot of that Obama in 30 seconds ad with the guy from Boy Meets World, and have McCain be the really hopey guy’s Anti-Hope.

    It’ll be crucial for Barry to paint WALNUTS! as the exact opposite (which he is, now) of everything that drew in Barry’s supporters in the first place.

    On another note, I’m really hoping that the dawn of high definition television (of which WALNUTS! isn’t aware exists yet, I’m sure) will do what Obama what that first TV debate did for Kennedy against Nixon. WALNUTS! has got one ugly mug, especially in contrast with Barry’s smooth features. One look at the two of them next to each other by us vain, shallow, elitist Americans will instantly decide this contest for us.

  13. [re=7608]AudicityofHope[/re]:

    I must say: beware smiling horses bearing friendship packages — Nothing to liven up a partygirllike a Trojan jumping our of the cake.

    I continue to look for class droplets of oyster pearls of wisdom and relative sage advise on all problems, small and large….. um, gee, not coming yet!!! Maybe she’s online w/ Chelsey–that’s a pass.

    Didn’t expect anything more. Take free food drink and bbe drunk, enjoy music, Spring and all its Glories ..

    Do good and avoid evil, these are a credeeeds, kids.

    AudicityofHope:If she were listing down here in South Alabama, We have folks blasting off on partytime trujly like there will]

  14. Hillary wants people to tell her what to do next according to that speech of hers last night. But I want some motha’ fuckin’ ice tea, and I don’t see that at my door step dammit. I’m voting for WALNUTS now.

  15. OMFG!!!!!! I was sitting watching “Can’t Hardly Wait” with my sisters and this happened!

    [re=7614]SayItWithWookies[/re]: 9 months before Chelsea was born. Sorry, that was harsh. Let the healing begin!

  16. Howard Fineman said on Countdown that Hillary’s staff couldn’t get her to concede, so they got eight Senators to call her up and talk some sense into her. This was in addition to Charlie Rangel’s 23 Congressmen. I think her behavior is a sign of obsessional ideation. But that’s just my professional opinion. I could be wrong. She could just be a regular psychopath.

  17. It’s a beautiful day for democracy! Hillary, I’ll miss talking shit about you. It’s been real.

    Time to take down McCain!!!!

  18. Uh..she quits and has a CONTRIBUTION button in the concession message? So people should pay her to quit? Perhaps the message should also contain the words ‘give generously’.

  19. [re=7650]Aurelio[/re]: [re=7649]ronaldpagan[/re]: No healing, no countdown. This is Barry’s introduction to D.C. standards. No sympathy for the devil (Luo Tribesman). Hillary is your next Vicey-McPresident.

  20. OK so after reading this whole thing, it is kind of shitty how it’s all about HER and how SHE is willing to support Obama and has always talked about supporting Obama and blah blah blah, and nothing about how great Obama is. But hopefully she’ll deal with that on Saturday.

    I wouldn’t expect tons of class from Hills but this is a huge step up. Although: what’s up with the CONTRIBUTE button?

  21. Now, I don’t usually focus on the jewelry, but in that photo of Cindy and Clint, why is it that her flag pin appears to be a Lebanese flag?

  22. [re=7652]TGY[/re]: Ha, yeah, I put that in there without comment, because … OH JESUS SHE STILL WANTS YOUR MONEY, OLD WHITE LADIES WITH AOL.

  23. [re=7650]Aurelio[/re]: I think it would only be appropriate to have an insane asylum named in her honor. “The Clinton Bedlam”

  24. Hah that Hillary resignation graphic never gets old. I feel bad being mean, because now that she is done, I can appreciate all her good qualities, but we can still reserve until Saturday for hating, right?

  25. [re=7656]bago[/re]: Sandy vaginas make the world a, umm, place….
    A better place! Yes! That’s it! Sandy vaginas ’08.

  26. [re=7661]Ken Layne[/re]: Comment from your half illiterate blog post, reenacted for (not) artists everywhere.


  27. [re=7665]AudicityofHope[/re]: True enough.

    [re=7659]the schmada[/re]: I dare Hillary to talk favorably about Barack’s penchant for “change” in Saturday’s speech. Ha.

  28. The subject line “I want you to know” gives the whole email a bitter Alanis Morisette vibe. Yeah, Barry’s great. But would he go down on you in a theater?

  29. [re=7676]ronaldpagan[/re]: For “realz.” That shit— is in my cornea. But fun. I’m a city-slicker with two gold’s on the plate for my folk here in Saus-soo-a-lee-toe.

  30. [re=7676]ronaldpagan[/re]: Obv that first line of my “Haiku” has too many syllables. Sorry. I’m drunk. It’s called celebrating Barry’s nomination. Shut up.

  31. [re=7672]ronaldpagan[/re]: Ah…the 90’s. Now if Hillary had run on the platform of “Hey, the nineties weren’t so bad! Remember Alanis Morissette? Huh? Yeah, those were good times, weren’t they?” than she might have had something. She should have come up with a better line than, “What part of the nineties didn’t you like? The peace or the prosperity?” in order for me to have gotten, “What didn’t you like? My husband’s big dick being sucked, travelgate, or Vince Foster’s mysterious death?” erased from my memory.

  32. Hillary:
    I’m so glad we had this time together
    Just to have a laugh and drink some beers
    Seems we just get started and before you know it
    Comes a time we have to say
    Please spare his ears!

  33. I have said throughout my campaign that I would strongly support anyone whom the Democratic party decides to nominate, even if that person is an inadequate black male.

    I wonder what Terry, Icky, and Bowser are doing right now?

  34. [re=7648]AudicityofHope[/re]:

    Sorry, you’re correct. Deep in the cups, we were tonite, wine excellent. Should have resisted urge to check email and favorite Websites… Most abject apologizes. plus, new dog waking me up at 4pm, 6pm, 8pm,….. who the hell does she think she is, a person?… so, lack of sleep a problem….Will try to pay more attention in future, ok? sigh…

    Glad no one knows my real name. I’ve actually edited some fine books I’m truly proud of…… in addition to flawless company reports and internal publications for businesses and more than a few books for our Museum of Art exhibits….

    Oh, and thanks Hillary, for half-way conceding (a Southern woman would have timed it better; done it with much more class and understated style; and had the people (not just menfolks) eating out of her hand.

    So here’s to Barack Obama– Live long and Prosper for our Planet! And may the most unfit person come out with the first really tastless, tacky ad.

  35. [re=7698]AudicityofHope[/re]:

    Well, dammit! My first name here was JustWords…. I like the ambiguity of words being “hey, just sayin'” as well of the appeal that I hoped (ah, idealism! thought it was beaten, trodden, dribbled out of me over the years) — that I could possibly have truly Just Words–in small chitchat conversations as well as JUSTWORDS, the kind that make a different somewhere in some one’s life at any time…..

    And thank you for your kind words!

  36. [re=7711]Odder[/re]: McCain’s website is handcrafted by real men. None of these fancy-dancy five dollar coffee spell checkers for them, please.

  37. This is the best news I’ve heard since Tuesday night! Oh, happy day. Peace, Hills, thanks for coming to your fucking senses at last.

  38. [re=7665]AudicityofHope[/re]: Yea, that. I was listening to NPR this morning, and they said that because Hillary is merely “suspending” her campaign, she can still receive contributions. Also, she fully intends to hold on to her delegates, prompting me to shout “You fucking CUNT” at the radio and scaring nearby passers-by.

  39. It is going to be sad day down at The Country Buffet. Harriet and friends gonna push the limits on that bottomless cup of coffee.

  40. There is a big difference between saying that you support someone, and actually supporting them. She keeps saying, “I support him.” But she always prefaces all positives with, “Despite our differences…”

    My best friend from high school has turned into a high maintenance, boring bitch. Because I have been friends with her since I was 13, I have a hard time being negative about her. I always say, “Meghan is really annoying but…” It doesn’t convince my boyfriend that I actually want to hang out with her. Just like Clinton isn’t convincing me that she supports Obama.

  41. She’s Gone (She spent up all of her money)
    She’s Gone, Gone, Gone (Now Bill can swing with his honey)
    She’s Go-o-one – I’m so glad that woman’s gone

  42. They’re reporting on NPR that she’s suspending (not terminating) her campaign and that she’s keeping her delegates to “keep her options open” (NPR’s words, I’m sure.)

    So this email amounts to nothing.

    It’s not over.

  43. Stop.

    She rained on the parade Tuesday with her bullshit speech.

    Wednesday she steals the media with her “Friday, oh did I say Friday?
    I really meant Saturday” bullshit. Now she really isn’t going to concede, or endorse. Just “suspend.”
    Seriously, is that in case he dies accidentally?

    Notice that she made the announcement as Olbermann was going on the air, just in case Keith was going to give her supporters an ethics lesson.

    She keeps stealing the news cycle-It’s all about ME!- when the whole country should have been truly wide-eyed and focused on the forward looking speech delivered by the nominee.

    Nothing is over until she is stopped

    Stop her.

  44. Blah blah, blah! Anybody who believed any of this is a sucka! This is just to get coverage. When will you learn? Until it happens, and even then, the definition is up for negotiations. Charles Rengall, make it better! Please?

  45. Hall & Oates lyrics – She’s Gone

    Everybody’s high on consolation
    Everybody’s trying to tell me
    What is right for me, yeah
    I need a drink and a quick decision
    Now it’s up to me, ooooh what will be

    She’s gone, she’s gone
    Oh, why
    Oh, why
    I better learn how to face it
    She’s gone, she’s gone
    Oh, why
    Oh, why
    I’d pay the devil to replace her
    She’s gone, she’s gone
    Oh, why
    What went wrong

    Get up in the morning, look in the mirror
    One less tooth brush hanging in the stand
    My face ain’t looking any younger
    Now what I can see
    Love’s taken a toll on me


    Think I’ll spend eternity in the city
    Let the carbon and monoxide choke my thoughts away
    And pretty bodies help dissolve the memories
    There can never be what she once was to me


  46. Nobody seems to get it.
    She’s not going to go away; but, she’s not going to win either.
    Clinton has tore the party apart to create openings for herself and for her machine.
    A machine that is mostly as male as a bag “o” dicks.
    The oldest, wrinkleiest dick in the bag is taking the opening she has created.

    McSame owes her a yellow knowing popsicle stick tooth grin.

  47. Oh God Clearwater, you have a psychotic crush on Hillary??? Dude she has been quite duped by a very possibly ineligible candidate in Barack. Even so, political crushes are worse than kiddie porn, and lesbian nuns. Get well soon ,dude.

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