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HILLARY CLINTON

Your Editors Consider Hillary As V.P.

Ha ha, old people suck.
See what you’re missing?


3:44 PM on Wed June 4 2008
By Ken Layne
393 Views

  1. Godless Liberal * says at 3:48 pm, June 4th, 2008

    I wanna be an editor so I can participate in your sexy chats.

  2. jagorev says at 3:48 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Well, it’s not the Algonquin roundtable, but it’s close.

  3. confusionanddelay< says at 3:48 pm, June 4th, 2008

    I don’t think he can do it. With all the pressure he’s getting to put her on the ticket he’d look like a total effete pussy if he wimped out and gave in. And, since he’s kind of an effete pussy to begin with, he really can’t afford to look like one.

  4. AngryBlakGuy says at 3:49 pm, June 4th, 2008

    …Hillary shouldn’t be V.P., she should get a V.P.(Vagina Punch)

  5. Cicada says at 3:49 pm, June 4th, 2008

    You guys need some Percoset and a Nembutal.
    If it keeps Cindy McCain optimistic, I’m sure it’ll work for you too

  6. Fferret says at 3:50 pm, June 4th, 2008

    What, no Ken-Layne inspired snark? The boss too good for IM? And if we have to endure purile age jokes, at least make them about Robert Byrd too!

  7. JimNewell says at 3:51 pm, June 4th, 2008

    JEEZ, i would’ve attempted a joke or two if i knew we were ON AIR.

  8. Ken Layne says at 3:53 pm, June 4th, 2008

    I just wanted to show Your Editors getting caught making McCain Will Die Of Old Age Before November jokes. And by “your editors,” I mean, “me.”

  9. jagorev says at 3:55 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Ken Layne: You know, JFK was assassinated in November.

  10. Tits_LaRue says at 3:57 pm, June 4th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: I think New Wonkette might need a :vaginapunch: emoticon… Oh, and of course a :punchballs: emoticon, too. I just so happen to have these icons in my possession, hint hint!

  11. shorts says at 3:58 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Where does one send a C/V?

  12. daneellaw says at 3:58 pm, June 4th, 2008

    There must a lull in the newsworthy news.

  13. tunamelt says at 3:59 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Sara is the voice of reason, here, isn’t she?

  14. Doglessliberal says at 3:59 pm, June 4th, 2008

    I agree with everything you two say. He has not run this smart a campaign so far only to pick her. That would lose him large numbers of voters.

    And can we hasten those deaths? I am not suggesting murder, but maybe we could say “BOO” really loud during early bird buffets?

  15. Servo says at 3:59 pm, June 4th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: Catchy commercial. “Hey Hillz, how ’bout a nice Vaginal Punch?”

  16. Paultardville says at 3:59 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Since you own this joint, I should let you know you’re sitting on a goldmine by not whoring out your staff for personalized “sexy chats.”

  17. Godless Liberal * says at 4:00 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Ken Layne: I would be careful with that. When McCain DOES die of old age before November, having this on record will make it seem as if the Wonkette cabal killed him with geriatrics.

  18. Doglessliberal says at 4:01 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Paultardville: “Ooh, baby, show me your TruckNutz(TM)”

  19. RonaldReagansHair says at 4:04 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Good to see that the editors are all on the same page. I think the man is a genius for picking Caroline Kennedy to pick his VP. She will be on a “mission from God” to ensure no Clintons. BTW, if being related to someone in the White House or the senate and whatnot qualify you for the job…

  20. Doglessliberal says at 4:04 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Godless Liberal *: If Wonkette had that kind of cabalistic power to influence the world, there would be a LOT more legislators in bathrooms in fishnets.

  21. gambypants says at 4:04 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Hillary will make a dramtic gesture and refuse the VP slot when offered, only to then run as an Independent aka the Clinton Party: it she can’t have. No. ONE. WILL. The dark days are upon us. HIDE YOUR CHILDREN!

  22. articulate moran says at 4:04 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Hillary’s dream- Obama taken out by a sniper and McCain has a heart-attack when they tell him.

  23. El Bombastico says at 4:04 pm, June 4th, 2008

    You know the world is topsy-turvy when Ed Rendell is speaking truth, but he hit it: “There’s no bargaining. You don’t bargain with the Presidential nominee. Even if you’re Hillary Clinton and you have 18 million votes, you don’t bargain.”

  24. NoWireHangers says at 4:06 pm, June 4th, 2008

    “It” won’t go away in a week. It hasn’t gone away for months.

  25. Doglessliberal says at 4:07 pm, June 4th, 2008

    and FYI, I am risking DEATH to remain vigilant in my reading of Wonkette because my building might blow away in a tornado or be blown up by the insane lightning going on here right now. This is one mofo of a storm.

  26. Well I guess we’ll REALLY get to see if he’s an appeaser now.

  27. RonaldReagansHair says at 4:09 pm, June 4th, 2008

    I really hope Hillary never concedes. It gets awesomer every day that she does not do so. Her still-slightly-sane supporters (Rosen) are starting to get all delicioulsy pissed and embarrassed. YAY — I was so sad to think I might have to stop hating her last night!

  28. WadISay says at 4:09 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Was this before or after the intra-office lip farting contest?

  29. shorts says at 4:09 pm, June 4th, 2008

    El Bombastico: OH please. In Kenya Barry grew up with bargaining as the economic staple. He is like no other white candidate I have ever seen. He is white, correct?

  30. Black Cat says at 4:10 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Wasn’t Richard Nixon the last presidential candidate to urge his supporters to petition for him to be VP?

  31. articulate moran says at 4:10 pm, June 4th, 2008

    jimh: Just because he would talk to Iran doesn’t
    mean he will talk with camp clinton.

  32. Ok, I suppose I must concede the fact that SKS exists. I dunno, but she looks too like the Wonkette icon to be real. The grass is always greener over the skeptic tank and so forth. Final proof must consist of a bikini pic. To be fair, all editors may appear in bikinis, but probably not, you know, the *same* bikini. Whatevs.

  33. ReelectTilden says at 4:11 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Servo: I think that’s something that’s served at frat parties.

  34. Tawmn says at 4:11 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Wonkette has “offices”?

  35. tunamelt says at 4:12 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: You’re in it to win it, good for you.

  36. Not Gay, Just Thirsty says at 4:12 pm, June 4th, 2008

    The Democratic nominee for President does not negotiate with terrorists.

  37. nyhfrog says at 4:12 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Would you guys go ahead and get that settled so you can move on to the price of gas and who would win in a fight between Spiderman and Wolverine?

  38. Lord Humungus says at 4:13 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Why does Ken get yellow? Is that a special shade, like Big Boss Man Yellow, or Shit Hammer Yellow?

    Jor-El ow?

  39. Doglessliberal says at 4:13 pm, June 4th, 2008

    tunamelt: at least I will die laughing

  40. ClothCoated says at 4:14 pm, June 4th, 2008

    She’d be a bad choice for vice-president but a marvelous choice for a vice presidential candidate. Assuming she really wanted the job, imagine her as an attack dog unleashed on Johnny McBush every day, channelling all that white republican hatred spewing it back on HIM. McCain doesn’t have the calm patience to put up with her the way Barry-O has; Johnny would fumble and fume, his head would explode. He’d blow up real good. This would be a thing of exquisite beauty.

  41. shorts says at 4:15 pm, June 4th, 2008

    I feel a swiftboating coming on here.

  42. floraway says at 4:15 pm, June 4th, 2008

    I work at a University, and someone on my floor (in a different department) is listening to that Harriet Christian video really loud. My boss is going to start freaking out really soon, because she is a huge Clinton supporter. I’m not looking forward to what comes next…

  43. articulate moran says at 4:17 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Tawmn: See backalley behind D.C. starbucks with most obvious Wifi password.

  44. NoWireHangers says at 4:17 pm, June 4th, 2008

    floraway: Send pictures

  45. ForTheTurnstiles says at 4:18 pm, June 4th, 2008

    floraway: My cat just visited the litter box. I think I’d rather put up with the smell than try to listen to a the Harriet vs Hilltard debate.

    I like cat shit better than I like HRC at this point.

  46. Black Cat says at 4:20 pm, June 4th, 2008

    floraway: For the remainder of the week, talk to your colleague in Harriet’s voice. It’s the least you can do.

  47. shortsshortsshorts says at 4:20 pm, June 4th, 2008

    floraway: Handle it like one should handle a Paultard. Look directly at her in the eyes first, then listen intently to her tyrade, which will probably be ALL CAPS, and while all this is happening just remember- “there’s no place like Barry.”

  48. Clintstones. Meet the Clintstones.
    They’re the nasty polit family.
    From the town of hardcock,
    They’re a page right out of misery.

    Let’s ride with the family down the street.
    And see on whom Billary shall cheat.

  49. bitchincamaro says at 4:25 pm, June 4th, 2008

    “Your editors” never once used the word, “hobo” in that thread; therefore I call bullshit!
    Charlatans!

  50. RonaldReagansHair says at 4:25 pm, June 4th, 2008

    floraway: I feel for you. I don’t think I could handle working for a Hillary supporter. We’ve been looking at open houses lately and I won’t even consider those nextdoor to folks with Hillary signs in the yard. Similarly, when someone has a Hillary bumper sticker, I get obsessed with pulling next to them just so I can get a close look at the kind of person that felt strongly enough to go through that process. I guess I would have put an Obama sticker on my car, but I’m afraid that my driving or something will piss someone off, and they will attribute it to Obama since it seems like everything bad ends of getting imputed to him regardless of the tenuous connection.

  51. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 4:26 pm, June 4th, 2008

    McCain will die before November but win on a sympathy vote, and his running mate (Hillary) will become president. It was her plan all along.

  52. wheelie says at 4:27 pm, June 4th, 2008

    jagorev: Heh heh. How it might have read:

    Jim N.: I do adore Senator Obama’s smoking. It is his one redeeming vice.

    Sara S.: Wit is but educated insolence, my dear Jim.

    Ken L.: brb. Damn Gore Vidal phoning me again. Go away old man.

  53. bitchincamaro says at 4:27 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Paultardville:

    “Mmmmm, I could sure use a little defenestration right about now…”

  54. tunamelt says at 4:28 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: Is there at least alcohol, just in case?

    I used to intern in the marketing department for a symphony orchestra and they had a cabinet filled with hard alcohol that was referred to as an emergency kit in case the “big earthquake” ever hit. I miss those people.

  55. V572625694 says at 4:30 pm, June 4th, 2008

    ClothCoated: I have had the same fantasy of Hillary (yes, it’s hard to put “Hillary” and “fantasy” in the same sentence) as the designated pit-bull. But she doesn’t have to be the veep nominee to do that. In fact, if she really wants to help the party win, she could just go crazy on Panamanian strongman Juan McCain from now until election day, and Hopey could dissociate himself from any remarks that Wolf Blitzer considered “over the line.”

  56. bitchincamaro says at 4:31 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Doglessliberal:
    I checked weather.com; it’s raining only on your building.
    FYI.

  57. Doglessliberal says at 4:31 pm, June 4th, 2008
  58. William Tecumseh Sherman says at 4:33 pm, June 4th, 2008

    I don’t think Obama would select Hillary because if I were him, I wouldn’t want to leave Michelle alone in a room with Bill.

    Seriously, it would be a lousy choice as it would give the media months and months more to breathlessly speculate everything the Clinton’s do and say as if it had some Machivellian significance and forget the fact that Obama is, in fact, the nominee.

  59. Stig_O_Hara says at 4:34 pm, June 4th, 2008

    What are the odds on McGrampy tagging Leibermann as his VP? They have been getting awfully chummy of late. That would be the WACKIEST!!!!

  60. NotUrEvryDayWEzl says at 4:35 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: They killled someone? Damn… I went outside to enjoy a post-thunderstorm-coital cigarette. It was much better than that whole death thing.

  61. tunamelt says at 4:36 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: Well, you are still communicating with us via the internet, so presumably you still have power and your life. But still, scary.

  62. Prodigalson1982 says at 4:37 pm, June 4th, 2008

    I say Barry goes with the Dave Chapelle mindset of securing a black president. Choose a mexican as his VP. Either Richardson or Salazar and strike fear to the white hicks who would try to mess with Barry. Because if you do then you have to deal with the Mexican Invasion. Viva La RAZA! ViVa ZAPATA!!

  63. Dave J. says at 4:37 pm, June 4th, 2008

    William Tecumseh Sherman: Yeah, and can you imagine how every time David Axelrod shot down one of Mark Penn’s shit hot ideas, the whole Clinton group would go screaming to Drudge and we’d have “CAMPAIGN ROCKED BY INTERNAL DISSENT… DEVELOPING” stories every week.

  64. sayitwithfigs says at 4:41 pm, June 4th, 2008

    If Teddy’s feeling well enough by convention time couldn’t we just ask him to drive Hillary there?

  65. Doglessliberal says at 4:52 pm, June 4th, 2008

    tunamelt: yes, and now the sun is out, and we are all happy and rainbows and unicorns will be here soon, along with a flying Hopey. Oh wait, maybe not that. But the sun is out.

  66. NotUrEvryDayWEzl says at 4:52 pm, June 4th, 2008
  67. ReelectTilden says at 5:05 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Really Obama ought to choose Ahmedinejad as his VP. That way the ticket is balanced Sunni/Shi’ite.

  68. William Tecumseh Sherman says at 5:11 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Dave J.: And just as every time some sort of bad news would come out in 2004, the Terrorist Color Code would go up, every time Obama goes up in the polls, another Gina Gershon/Bill Clinton type story would come out. I do have to admit, though, that if those stories are true, it would almost make me respect Bill again.

    Woof… Gina Gershon.

  69. Whore Diamond in the Rough says at 5:13 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: Risking death to read Wonkette, it’s the Obamerican Way!

  70. Trudance Clearwater says at 5:39 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Why do I think that we all listen to Stephanie Miller, via podcast at a smashingly awesome cost of only $4.95 if paid a year in advance?

    I’d like to see the unicorns AND eat ice cream with a big vanilla and chocolate cookie!

  71. Trudance Clearwater says at 5:43 pm, June 4th, 2008

    …..opps, was losing brain thought waves after having them sucked out of my skull last night when I suffered through the McCain “speech” that he so pathetically gave, it caused me to get sick, in my mouth….

    I meant $4.95 PER MONTH if paid one year in advance…I have one of those BIG KEY BOARDS…

  72. shortsshortsshorts says at 5:49 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Trudance Clearwater: Rockin’ out on the Atanasoff–Berry Computer I see?

  73. NoWireHangers says at 5:56 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Another reason why Hillz will NOT be VP:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2DECDKOFnw&eurl=

  74. 1ofUS says at 6:21 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Dead votes count. It’s just the living that get caged.

  75. 1ofUS says at 6:24 pm, June 4th, 2008

    NoWireHangers: Obama: “You’ll have to axe Hillary…in the head.”

  76. Servo says at 6:29 pm, June 4th, 2008

    How about Madeline Albright as his VP? She’d be good for the Canklepalooza vote.

  77. Southron_98 says at 6:33 pm, June 4th, 2008

    God what a bunch of piss ants and assholes. I am sorry I got wounded fighting for the likes of you all. I hope Hillary runs as an independent or on the McCain ticket, she might not be much but she is hands down better than Obama.

  78. Servo says at 6:51 pm, June 4th, 2008

    “…On the up-roll…..FIIIIRE!”
    -Jack Aubrey

  79. shortsshortsshorts says at 6:54 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Southron_98: YA! YOU ARE SO RIGHT! I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THIS IS GOING ON AND THAT HILLARY IS NOT PROCLAIMING VICTORY AND THAT I AM ALSO A PISS ANT AND AN ASSHOLE TOO! YOU MUST BE VERY EBUDACATED BECAUSE HILLARY IS HANDS-DOWN BETTER THEN BARRY AND YOU KNOW IT BETTER THAN ANYONE HERE AND I WILL USE VARIATIONS OF THEN AND THAN TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE SO CORRECT SO WE SHOULD CHANGE (oops, change is a Barry word) OUR MINDS AND DO SOMETHING DIFFERENTLY BECAUSE HILLARY IS SO MUCH HANDSDOWN BETTER BECAUSE YOU FIGHTED FOR MEES AND I DONT DESERVE IT EVEN THOUGH NOBODY ASKED YOU TO GO AND FIGHT FOR ME AND HILLARY SHOULD RUN AS AN INDEPENDENT BECAUSE THAT WOULD SETTLE THE SCORE FOR US GRACELESS LIBTARD DEMONS WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT EVER BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT FOUGHT IN WARS OR BEEN CAPTURED BY THE VIETNAMESE BECAUSE WE DO NOT KNOW HOW TO FLY PLANES AND I AM SOOO NOMINATING HILLZ FOR PRESIDENT NOW BECAUSE YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME THIS VERY VALUABLE LESSON ABOUT MYSELF BECAUSE HILLARY IS HANDS DOWN BETTER THAN OBAMA AND I AM A PISS ANT AND ASSHOLE WHO DOESN’T DESERVE OPINIONS LIKE YOU, douchebag.

    Eat a fucking dick.

  80. Servo says at 7:01 pm, June 4th, 2008

    “Fire as she bears!”

  81. Sortofexpat says at 7:38 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Uh… What he said.

  82. Southron_98: YOU FORGOT THAT IF OBOMANA IS ELECTED LIFE WILL CEASE TO EXIST!
    I actually hope she runs on the McCain ticket, btw.

  83. Servo says at 7:49 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Southron_98: Hey asshole! I was a sailor and a Marine. Those were professions that I volunteered to do and I understood the risks. Go shovel that propogandist bullshit about how the military is maintaining our freedoms at your VFW/American Legion. We, the thinkers, are no longer going to let our fate rest in the hands of the mindless, irrational, and hypocritical. We are no longer allowing policies that are wrought in fear and permit the abuse of power. If you and your Hillary shitheads want to cower under the blanket of familiarity, be our guests. We’re taking the helm of this country now, so sit down and shut the fuck up!

  84. shortsshortsshorts says at 7:57 pm, June 4th, 2008

    jimh: Me too.

  85. wheelie says at 8:05 pm, June 4th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: Wow. Holy crap. Remind me not to piss you off.

  86. Servo: “This day on will be remembered as the day that all of mankind declared we will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We will live on! We will survive!” (The crowd erupts into wild applause and cheers as President Obama turns to lead his army on to Megiddo.)

  87. Whore Diamond in the Rough says at 8:18 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Southron_98: And we want to thank you for your unimpeachable service in the 101st Keyboard Brigade.

  88. Servo says at 9:12 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Q: Face painted blue and white.

  89. wallythepug says at 10:08 pm, June 4th, 2008

    I’m still pulling for Jim Webb for Veep. Kick ass!

  90. S.Luggo says at 11:49 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Riveting discussion (quite like the “Symposium”), but were each of you wearing your matching Obama-emblazoned bra and panties then, or just Ken and Jim?

  91. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:54 am, June 5th, 2008

    S.Luggo: Hardy harr. Your humor is delicious. However, I also eat shit, so I think your just GRAND!

  92. S.Luggo says at 3:28 am, June 5th, 2008

    Did you all wear Obama-stenciled bras and panties during this discussion, or was that limited to Ken and Jim?

  93. Trudance Clearwater says at 11:05 am, June 5th, 2008

    Southron_98: GAL-LEE, if I can get these here letters in the BIG BOX, damn, you’re pathetic.

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