Massachusetts state Senator J. James Marzilli Jr. has a certain daily routine. He likes to take a pleasant constitutional through Lowell, Massachusetts’ beautiful parks. During this time of year, of course, the ladies of the park tend to gather in their flowing, bounteous summer dresses, to drink iced tea and chat about our boys overseas. Marzilli enjoys overhearing the ladies’ conversations, and then he enjoys approaching the individual ladies, and then he enjoys lunging for their chotches and boobs. Then he enjoys running from the cops against traffic in one-way streets, dressed like a hobo, scaring the patrons at the hot dog stands; and when he is caught, he enjoys giving the cops the name of another state legislator, while crying for his life.
Marzilli was arrested yesterday and charged today with what the Boston Globe calls “annoying and accosting a person of the opposite sex.” The “accosting” part seems more troubling.
Anyway, we can’t write a better sex thriller than this:
The woman told police that a week earlier she had seen Marzilli in downtown Lowell wearing ragged clothes and looking as if he were homeless, [prosecutor] Mucci said. The woman said on Tuesday that Marzilli asked her whether she remembered him and he tried to flirt with her. Mucci said that Marzilli then tried to grab the woman’s genitals.
Police found Marzilli shortly after the alleged incident and he took off, disrupting traffic as he ran the wrong direction up a one-way street, Mucci said. People at a busy hot dog stand had to dive out of the way as Marzilli ran on the sidewalk, Mucci said.
The chase ended in the Market Street garage, where Marzilli had been darting in and out of parked cars, Mucci said. After claiming to be Martin Walsh, Marzilli told police they were ruining his life.
Marzilli told the police, while crying, that they were just flirting. And according to the woman’s testimony, he had all the moves! Check out this line: “Oh baby you are so beautiful. Your body is so perfect.” Guaranteed notch in the bedpost.