SCANDALS  3:08 pm June 4, 2008

Massachusetts Legislator Arrested For Sexy Groping, Gives Police Fellow Legislator’s Name

by Jim Newell

The Mustache rides again.Massachusetts state Senator J. James Marzilli Jr. has a certain daily routine. He likes to take a pleasant constitutional through Lowell, Massachusetts’ beautiful parks. During this time of year, of course, the ladies of the park tend to gather in their flowing, bounteous summer dresses, to drink iced tea and chat about our boys overseas. Marzilli enjoys overhearing the ladies’ conversations, and then he enjoys approaching the individual ladies, and then he enjoys lunging for their chotches and boobs. Then he enjoys running from the cops against traffic in one-way streets, dressed like a hobo, scaring the patrons at the hot dog stands; and when he is caught, he enjoys giving the cops the name of another state legislator, while crying for his life.

Marzilli was arrested yesterday and charged today with what the Boston Globe calls “annoying and accosting a person of the opposite sex.” The “accosting” part seems more troubling.

Anyway, we can’t write a better sex thriller than this:

The woman told police that a week earlier she had seen Marzilli in downtown Lowell wearing ragged clothes and looking as if he were homeless, [prosecutor] Mucci said. The woman said on Tuesday that Marzilli asked her whether she remembered him and he tried to flirt with her. Mucci said that Marzilli then tried to grab the woman’s genitals.

Police found Marzilli shortly after the alleged incident and he took off, disrupting traffic as he ran the wrong direction up a one-way street, Mucci said. People at a busy hot dog stand had to dive out of the way as Marzilli ran on the sidewalk, Mucci said.

The chase ended in the Market Street garage, where Marzilli had been darting in and out of parked cars, Mucci said. After claiming to be Martin Walsh, Marzilli told police they were ruining his life.

Marzilli told the police, while crying, that they were just flirting. And according to the woman’s testimony, he had all the moves! Check out this line: “Oh baby you are so beautiful. Your body is so perfect.” Guaranteed notch in the bedpost.

Prosecutor: Senator gave name of fellow lawmaker during arrest [Boston Globe]

 

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{ 60 comments }

johnham June 4, 2008 at 3:13 pm

“Oh baby you are so beautiful. Your body is so perfect.”

SOLD.

Sean O June 4, 2008 at 3:14 pm

That’s my hometown! Goooo Lowell!

I literally work a block and a half away from this. Yay?

AngryBlakGuy June 4, 2008 at 3:14 pm

…proof that there is NO GOD, because if there were this would have been caught on tape!

Meaux June 4, 2008 at 3:15 pm

That is alt text I can believe in.

slavojzizek June 4, 2008 at 3:15 pm

You forgot to mention his party affiliation, Jim. I guess since he was harassing a woman, you presumed we could figure it out. Which is true.

cracksmoke June 4, 2008 at 3:15 pm

How could she have resisted?

slavojzizek June 4, 2008 at 3:16 pm

If a wonkette commenter is ever arrested for similar behavior, you have to give your name as ‘Jim Newell’. That would be hilarious.

ronaldpagan June 4, 2008 at 3:16 pm

Hey, he’s a Democrat. Know what gives it away? The phrase “opposite sex.”

Obviously scum anyway.

shortsshortsshorts June 4, 2008 at 3:16 pm

What? MAN cannot grope WOMAN at sight? Groth ANGRY!!!

AngryBlakGuy June 4, 2008 at 3:17 pm

…personally my favorite pick-up line is “Do you want to see exactly how ADEQUATE this black male is?!”

weirdiowasculpture June 4, 2008 at 3:17 pm

I find women just fucking melt when I grab their genitals and give them that line, especially when I’m in my homeless drag and smell like a drunken sewer rat. I mean, it never fails!

V572625694 June 4, 2008 at 3:18 pm

And the party affiliation of this excellent legislator would be…Democratic, according to his Web site. Could he be lying about that too?

FMA June 4, 2008 at 3:18 pm

What? You mean, that kind of thing doesn’t work?

Doglessliberal June 4, 2008 at 3:19 pm

[re=6916]johnham[/re]: yeah, that line plus the attempted genital grabbing, whooeee, this guy got game.

Lorax June 4, 2008 at 3:20 pm

“….and then he enjoys lunging for their chotches and boobs.”

Scott Baio is involved with this? Say it ain’t so.

If Willie Aames pops up, I’m going to utterly lose my faith in mankind.

obfuscator June 4, 2008 at 3:20 pm

He looks a little molesty. Kind of like Ray Stevens, too.

Cicada June 4, 2008 at 3:21 pm

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Marzilli said, according to the police report. “She was flirting with me, I was flirting with her.”

I always flirt by grabbing someone’s genitalia. So direct, no B.S.

weirdiowasculpture June 4, 2008 at 3:21 pm

Is this guy a superdelegate, by any chance?

NotUrEvryDayWEzl June 4, 2008 at 3:21 pm

That’s an interesting way to bring down an opponents career. Hillary can take a lesson from this, style herself as Michelle Obama, and start running around calling people Whitey. And then groping their genitals, because that’s sexist.

Tits_LaRue June 4, 2008 at 3:21 pm

Hold on… I can have people arrested for annoying me? If so, I’ll try my best not to overload the judicial system with my many, many complaints.

Doglessliberal June 4, 2008 at 3:25 pm

[re=6941]Tits_LaRue[/re]: oh, the list would be long. Heading it: Hillary Clinton, Howard Ickes, Lanny Davis, Terry McAuliffe. They can all go to jail to be groped by legislators with 70s porno mustaches.

bitchincamaro June 4, 2008 at 3:25 pm

Lunch hour vadge snatching is one of those new
edgy urban sports in the great NE. Hobo uniform
optional.

Cicada June 4, 2008 at 3:25 pm

[re=6936]Lorax[/re]: Wouldn’t that be “Chachis and boobs?”. The boob part doesn’t have to change, because of “Scott Baio is 45 and Single”. Enough boobs there to fill plenty o’ wonder bras.

Iggy Plop June 4, 2008 at 3:25 pm

*Ran* the wrong direction up a one way street?! Pervert.

choinski June 4, 2008 at 3:26 pm

So…. this is the month of Pune?

weirdiowasculpture June 4, 2008 at 3:27 pm

[re=6948]bitchincamaro[/re]: I thought it was called “snatch vadging.”

ReelectTilden June 4, 2008 at 3:29 pm

He’s just trying to see how far white liberal guilt extends. Sure, they’ll give a homeless guy a dollar, but how ’bout a handy?

cracksmoke June 4, 2008 at 3:31 pm

Are they sure it wasn’t a drunken Terr-bear?

shortsshortsshorts June 4, 2008 at 3:37 pm

I better stop doing that.

gjdodger June 4, 2008 at 3:38 pm

[re=6937]obfuscator[/re]: “As he swings through Lowell’s trees without a trapeze, in his BVD’s”

jagorev June 4, 2008 at 3:38 pm

I am going to spend all my lunchtimes from now on doing this in Central Park. LINE STARTS HERE, LADIEZZZ

MoodProcessor June 4, 2008 at 3:40 pm

If you look real close at the picture, you’ll see the slit in the top of his head.

articulate moran June 4, 2008 at 3:44 pm

I’m totally going to work for his re-election campaign. Think about all the hot chicks he must hire.

confusionanddelay< June 4, 2008 at 3:45 pm

It didn’t work on her? I guess there’s always an exception that proves the rule. Snatch grabs from hobos always make me frisky.

Stig O' June 4, 2008 at 3:49 pm

I would NEVER expect this in Lowell. Billerica maybe…. (for those not from the Boston area it’s pronounced “bil RICKAH”)

DangerousLiberal June 4, 2008 at 3:54 pm

[re=6952]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: Dammit, all the smart kids are so much quicker than me. But at least this post trends closer to the Endless Cummer fun I was looking forward to.

Dave J. June 4, 2008 at 3:57 pm

[re=6975]articulate moran[/re]: Or hobos.

Lord Humungus June 4, 2008 at 4:05 pm

Chotches? Is this some fancy elite word for…I dunno, terrier?

CthuNHu June 4, 2008 at 4:05 pm

The Audacity of Grope.

shorts June 4, 2008 at 4:10 pm

I wonder if he was delivering Hawaiian pizza?

Doglessliberal June 4, 2008 at 4:11 pm

[re=7026]shorts[/re]: wait, now you are “shorts”? You were your old self a few posts back.

Black Cat June 4, 2008 at 4:13 pm

It was strongly recommended to me by a professor that, as a woman, I might not feel comfortable working in the MA state house or senate.

Clovis June 4, 2008 at 4:14 pm

“Marzilli was arrested yesterday and charged today with what the Boston Globe calls `annoying and accosting a person of the opposite sex.’”

It’s supposed to be the same sex?

He was in character as a hobo, as everyone knows, because Lowell is the hometown of Jack Kerouac. Also, it’s where the industrial resolution began in America, but it’s all right you don’t know that. Jack Kerouac didn’t.

ReelectTilden June 4, 2008 at 4:15 pm

[re=7033]Doglessliberal[/re]: One of them is an imposter. J’accuse!

shorts June 4, 2008 at 4:16 pm

[re=7033]Doglessliberal[/re]: NOOOO!!! I must look into this. Shit.

shortsshortsshorts June 4, 2008 at 4:17 pm

[re=7046]shorts[/re]: *fixed. I had to use “shorts” when “shortsshortsshorts” was stuck in the Wonkette-vortex.

Doglessliberal June 4, 2008 at 4:19 pm

[re=7049]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: phew!

Deepthroat June 4, 2008 at 4:20 pm

I guess his membership in the “New England Wildflower Society” just wasn’t providing him with enough excitement as of late.

http://www.mass.gov/legis/member/jjm0.htm

Also, “He was given the “Self Sufficiency” award by the Massachusetts Association of Community Action Programs award in 2006″

Hmmm, there’s some irony in there somewhere

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._James_Marzilli,_Jr.

tunamelt June 4, 2008 at 4:22 pm

[re=6968]jagorev[/re]: One of the few, perhaps only, times I shall regret living in Los Angeles.

Advocatus_Diaboli June 4, 2008 at 4:25 pm

God, how I wish this guy was my rep in the MA legislature. How fucking awesome is it to give the name of your nemesis when you get collared? I can see it on “Cops” already:

Policeman: Put down the gun, put down the gun right now!

Perp: Let me ‘splain, let me ‘splain.

Policeman: There’s nothing to explain; we caught you flagrantly pistol-whipping Hillary Rodham Clinton. What’s your name, boy?

Perp: Uh, John McCain. Yeah, I’m John McCain, the senior senator from Arizona.

Deepthroat June 4, 2008 at 4:28 pm

what happened to my comment?@!

StupidGeek June 4, 2008 at 4:32 pm

I can’t wait until the drunken hobo Terry McAuliffe does this and tells the cops he is Harold Ickes.

Sussemilch June 4, 2008 at 4:33 pm

Ticketed for vajayjaywalking.

CthuNHu June 4, 2008 at 4:55 pm

He’s the President of the New England Wild Flower Society.

True fact.

And he seems to have a pretty impressive resumé. Apart from, you know, the whole labia-grappling thing. But at least she was an adult of the gender he publicly professed an attraction to.

And Wonkette comments are cruelly random in deciding whether to post.

metroville June 4, 2008 at 5:18 pm

Jack Kerouac is disappointed.

CollegeStudent June 4, 2008 at 5:39 pm

I did this once in High School…the name thing, you pervs, I gave the prinicpal the name of a kid I didn’t like.
Seriously though, what kind of sick puppy is this guy? Can you believe “he ran the wrong direction up a one-way street” AND made innocent “People at a busy hot dog stand dive” for their lives.

Slutty_Chola_Cobbler June 4, 2008 at 5:49 pm

Was it Hillary Clinton’s angry white female supporter “HARRIET ‘inadequate black male’ CHRISTIAN” that he groped? ’cause she’s totally hot and really beautiful, inside and out!

1ofUS June 4, 2008 at 6:29 pm

Maybe her body was *almost* perfect and he was just tweaking it a bit to attain that Ann Coulter perfection every proper Christian lady strives for.

chill August 5, 2008 at 3:12 am

Yeah i did the once in my life with friends that’s in cybercafe and i deserved for that.Later i realized that.
———————————-
Karmath20

[url=http://www.treatmentcenters.org/massachusetts]Massachusetts Treatment Centers[/url]

chill August 5, 2008 at 3:13 am

Yeah i did the once in my life with friends that’s in cybercafe and i deserved for that.Later i realized that.
———————————-
Karmath20

Massachusetts Treatment Centers

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