• February 15, 2012
BARACK OBAMA

George Lucas To Ruin Barack Obama Story, Too

by Ken Layne

2:47 pm June 4, 2008

buttsecks?George Lucas, who created Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark three decades ago and has spent all his time since then trying to ruin them, says his new hero is Barack Obama. In Japan promoting the latest Indiana Jones movie, the Lucasfilm billionaire said he loves Barry so much because “for all of us that have dreams and hope, is a hero.” (?) Lucas says he’s working on a “prequel” about when Obama’s dad was a goat-riding archaeologist on his home planet of Tatooine, where he found a bunch of dumb CGI monsters from space. The computer program Jar Jar Binks will do all the acting. [AFP]

{ 55 comments }

Cicada June 4, 2008 at 2:49 pm

Mee so Hopey! Mee-sum look for Veep!

ronaldpagan June 4, 2008 at 2:50 pm

A New Hope

TGY June 4, 2008 at 2:50 pm

The creator of Jar-jar Binks. Heartwarming.

Son of Mark Penn June 4, 2008 at 2:50 pm

Lucas is always looking for more stereotypes to mine.

Sussemilch June 4, 2008 at 2:53 pm

The Empire Strikes Black.

SayItWithWookies June 4, 2008 at 2:53 pm

Two words: “Ewok Celebration.” It only got worse from there.
And photo caption suggestion: “Works every time.”

shortsshortsshorts June 4, 2008 at 2:54 pm

I thought that the previous consensus was Jeremiah Wright as Jar-Jar?

weirdiowasculpture June 4, 2008 at 2:55 pm

Karl Rove for Jabba

ManchuCandidate June 4, 2008 at 2:56 pm

This might explain the sudden appearance of a Bar Bar Obinks character.

MathewBrooks June 4, 2008 at 2:56 pm

Why doesn’t he dedicate himself to refining CGI porno?

AngryBlakGuy June 4, 2008 at 2:56 pm

…is there absolutely anyway we can get Michell in a Jaba the Hut slave girl outfit?!

MathewBrooks June 4, 2008 at 2:56 pm

Lando in a Daishiki

MARCdMan June 4, 2008 at 2:56 pm

that photo reeks of backstage coke-fueled double-team on Carrie Fisher.

AngryBlakGuy June 4, 2008 at 2:57 pm

[re=6887]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: …and we can seal Hillary away in CARBONITE!!!

edgydrifter June 4, 2008 at 2:57 pm

I’m willing to forgive Lucas just a little, for no better reason than the aggressive manbrace betwixt Lando and Han depicted above.

weirdiowasculpture June 4, 2008 at 2:58 pm

Actually, I’m thinking Chelsea as Jabba’s slave girl.

ThomasAllen June 4, 2008 at 2:59 pm

Will we find out in the end that Barack and Hillary are really brother and sister, thus making us feel dirty for hoping they would hook up?

superfecta June 4, 2008 at 3:00 pm

I’m sure Uncle George can work in some bullshit about how Obama’s journey is not unlike any random archetype he once heard Joseph Campbell mention in passing.

Is Axelrod Lobot?

Tits_LaRue June 4, 2008 at 3:01 pm

Somebody please send this story to the Secret Service so they may tackle Lucas to the ground and pry the script out of his hands.

articulate moran June 4, 2008 at 3:01 pm

[re=6887]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Yes (in reference to Michelle)

[re=6887]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: No (lens crafters has free estimates)

Sean O June 4, 2008 at 3:01 pm

[re=6896]ThomasAllen[/re]: …..who is the “us” you reference?

SayItWithWookies June 4, 2008 at 3:01 pm

[re=6892]edgydrifter[/re]: Yeah, that looks like a Gardicil for Men ad right there.

AngryBlakGuy June 4, 2008 at 3:04 pm

…quick someone call Harriet Christian to inspect his light-saber, so she can tell us whether or not it is adequate or not!!!

WadISay June 4, 2008 at 3:06 pm

I understand the e-surance girl turned down the role of Lotta Fachina.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl June 4, 2008 at 3:08 pm

Mark Penn as Jabba. Michelle as Leia in the slave girl outfit. Lanny Davis as the guy with a tail on his head. Hillary as the rancor beast.

Paultardville June 4, 2008 at 3:08 pm

I’ve got a bad feeling about this …

StuckBetweenStations June 4, 2008 at 3:08 pm

I have a bad feeling about this…

Cicada June 4, 2008 at 3:14 pm

[re=6913]Paultardville[/re]: [re=6914]StuckBetweenStations[/re]: Get a room, you two!

Not_So_Much June 4, 2008 at 3:17 pm

What the fuck is with that quote??

Was he speaking Japanese and that was a translation? He sounds just like the beauty pageant chick from a year ago that made no sense…

Me-sa no unnerstand-sa!

lumpenprole June 4, 2008 at 3:25 pm

Post-op cybernetic Ted Kennedy as Lobot!

ReelectTilden June 4, 2008 at 3:25 pm

Hillary shot first

Tra June 4, 2008 at 3:29 pm

Come on now. Wouldn’t you like to see George Bush end his term by having his face melt, his head catch on fire, or his electricity-riddled body plunge down a very long shaft and explode at the bottom?

TGY June 4, 2008 at 3:30 pm

[re=6930]Not_So_Much[/re]: Much like his scripts.

ReelectTilden June 4, 2008 at 3:31 pm

[re=6893]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: That’s going in the spank bank.

Tra June 4, 2008 at 3:31 pm

Possible ending: The pretzel introduced in Act One returns in the end as a humongous CGI prezel-creature, and exacts its inevitable revenge.

WernerHerzogsBear June 4, 2008 at 3:33 pm

How about Jimmy Carter as Obi-Wan? I can see him standing on a mountainside above Denver saying,
“The Democratic National Convention. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.”

Servo June 4, 2008 at 3:34 pm

Help me Obama Wan Kenobi, you’re my only Hope.

mothermaven June 4, 2008 at 3:35 pm

Even though I practically live in Skywalker Ranch’s backyard, I may never forgive George Lucas for 6+ excruciating hours I can never get back.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl June 4, 2008 at 3:42 pm

[re=6960]WernerHerzogsBear[/re]: You sure you’re not talking about St. Paul?

We must be cautious.

Servo June 4, 2008 at 3:42 pm

[re=6889]MARCdMan[/re]: Those blaster props have a secondary purpose.

Cicada June 4, 2008 at 3:43 pm

[re=6964]mothermaven[/re]: Never forgive, hopefully forget.

Servo June 4, 2008 at 3:47 pm

Shall we stick Cinn-A-Bon rolls to the sides of Michelle’s head for George’s sake?

mothermaven June 4, 2008 at 3:48 pm

[re=6973]Cicada[/re]: Meesa try…oh dammit, George!

Lord Humungus June 4, 2008 at 3:57 pm

But where does Billy D. stand? Who gets the Colt 45 endorsement?

Stig_O_Hara June 4, 2008 at 4:02 pm

WHAT??? No Darth Vader/Dick Cheney jokes?? Wake up, people!!!

Stig_O_Hara June 4, 2008 at 4:06 pm

hhhhhhhhhmmmmmm…. Colt 45….. is it 5 yet? What? 4:05. Close enough (insert sound effect of 16oz Tall Boy opening).

Gopherit v2.0 June 4, 2008 at 4:10 pm

Dammit…..thanks for giving me the only scientifically valid reason thus far to doubt my support for Barry. If Lucas likes him, there’s something fucked up about it.

Black Cat June 4, 2008 at 4:17 pm

Any remaining respect I had for George Lucas was eviscerated when he had a cameo on The O.C. to plug his last Star Wars movie.

shortsshortsshorts June 4, 2008 at 4:22 pm

[re=7028]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Lucas has already recreated the election.

sayitwithfigs June 4, 2008 at 4:23 pm

[re=7006]Stig_O_Hara[/re]: I thought Vader == Rumsfeld. Or am I missing something? Peter Cushion?

greg June 4, 2008 at 5:07 pm

[re=7006]Stig_O_Hara[/re]: Barack! I’m your extraordinarily distant cousin!

populucious June 4, 2008 at 5:16 pm

Ralph Nader IS the creepy guy in the black suit.

Sorry guys, I’m a sucker for a bad rhyme.

RaptorAvatar June 4, 2008 at 6:46 pm

[re=6893]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: Chelsea as the little green thing that looks like Elmo + A Gremlin, Hilly as the blue elephant looking fucker, & Penn can be Jabba.

SwanSwanH June 4, 2008 at 9:16 pm

[re=6996]Lord Humungus[/re]: “How you doin’, Chewbacca?”

sayitwithfigs June 5, 2008 at 5:08 am

[re=7185]populucious[/re]: Darth Nader?

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