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MORTGAGE CRISIS

Foreclosure Crisis Takes Down Beloved Sidekick Ed McMahon

:(America might be busy ejaculating in its collective pants about the end of Racism and the beginning of Hope, but that doesn’t stop our nation’s bankers from the very important work of booting the elderly from their homes. That’s right, our mortgage-foreclosure-housing-bubble crisis marches on, and it looks like the next stop on the hobo train is swank Beverly Hills, where former Johnny Carson sidekick and Howard Stern prank call subject Ed McMahon has run into some financial troubles.

Ed McMahon is now 85 years old, and he broke his neck a year and a half ago so he can’t work and anyway he is 85, which means that now he can’t afford to live in his house. It has been on the market for two years but has found nobody to love it yet.

Presumably, seeing this written about in the Wall Street Journal will convince Evil Lender Countrywide to give Ed McMahon a break and work out some accommodation that doesn’t involve a carboard box and canned cat food.

Ed McMahon May Lose Beverly Hills Home [Wall Street Journal]


10:08 AM on Wed June 4 2008
By Sara K. Smith
719 Views

  1. Nigerian Business Executive says at 10:13 am, June 4th, 2008

    Quite honestly, I thought he was dead.

  2. ReelectTilden says at 10:14 am, June 4th, 2008

    HEY-O!

  3. From The Bridge says at 10:15 am, June 4th, 2008

    Ed McMahon never once came in his pants.

  4. norbziness says at 10:16 am, June 4th, 2008

    Thank God for those illegal human liver cultivation farms in the depths of the Amazonian rainforest.

  5. ManchuCandidate says at 10:19 am, June 4th, 2008

    85 and still has a mortgage? Mrs McMahon sure must by “young” and purty to be make poor old Ed work like a 65 year old movie star.

    Ed won’t be the last celeb or CEO who loses their “house” (6 bedrooms come on!) in this “wonderful” housing bubble, but his will be one of the few I feel sort of bad about.

  6. Not_So_Much says at 10:21 am, June 4th, 2008

    I actually ejaculate in my pants for totally different reasons…

    I’d always heard that Big Ed had more cash than Johnny or almost anyone else in show biz. Urban legend??

  7. JewdishoowarySquare says at 10:22 am, June 4th, 2008

    He can come stay at my house, but only if he brings that $10,000,000 that I may already have won.

  8. bemused page says at 10:22 am, June 4th, 2008

    85? They’ll never get the old man smell out of that house. Way to go bankers.

  9. Bypartizoa says at 10:22 am, June 4th, 2008

    Jay Leno should step up and buy his house. Or at least let Ed live in one of his fucking cars.

  10. trailerparkrepublican says at 10:25 am, June 4th, 2008

    That’s not change we can believe in!!
    Perhaps he can get work as McNuttypopsiclestickteetholdberg’s understudy.

  11. friendlynerd says at 10:26 am, June 4th, 2008

    He blew all his mortgage-money on hookers and coke.

  12. loudmouthredhead says at 10:31 am, June 4th, 2008

    Did you guys really have to mention ejaculation and Ed McMahon in the same post? REALLY?ManchuCandidate: That’s what I’m thinking…He must have moved frequently to avoid bitter Star Search losers. Those people are cray-zee me thinks.

  13. loudmouthredhead says at 10:38 am, June 4th, 2008

    Ed will just have to become Walnuts! exclusive supplier of Rascals for the campaign. I mean, he’s got a lot of ground to cover right? He’ll burn through one of those a week! H-E-L-L-O moolah!
    “You are correct, sir! Ha HA!”

  14. MathewBrooks says at 10:38 am, June 4th, 2008

    oooh i bet hes bitter

  15. AngryBlakGuy says at 10:38 am, June 4th, 2008

    …in that photo he is OBVIOUSLY pandering to the McCain demographic! Enticing them with those rascal scooters!

  16. WhiteTrash says at 10:38 am, June 4th, 2008

    i heard he had more $$$ than god… plus he got millions to settle house mold lawsuit
    i guess all the $$$ went for Depends and Polygrip

  17. AngryBlakGuy says at 10:44 am, June 4th, 2008

    …first Ed McMahon! Whose next Bob Barker; have they no decency?!?!

  18. loudmouthredhead says at 10:45 am, June 4th, 2008

    Everyone, let’s take a moment to thank Ed for not resorting to appearing in E.D. commercials, unlike a certain senator…I’m looking at you B. Dole, or Bob D. See how I was discrete there?

  19. mookworthjwilson says at 10:49 am, June 4th, 2008

    If only he had Diabeetus…then he could get in on some of that Brimley action…or he might have it…he is old after all…

  20. shortsshortsshorts says at 10:49 am, June 4th, 2008

    If he cancels the Pubishers Clearing House, there’s gonna be hell to pay. HELL to pay I tell you. That’ him, right?

  21. loudmouthredhead says at 10:53 am, June 4th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: I don’t think he has the power to “cancel” the place, but the old people would stop answering the door if it wasn’t him that pulled up in a van with balloons and cameras.

  22. MoodProcessor says at 10:53 am, June 4th, 2008

    I think Leno needs some Alpo commercials live, on-set. Maybe he could go work with Letterman, and adjuct to Stupid Pet Tricks.

  23. AngryBlakGuy says at 10:53 am, June 4th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: …wasn’t he selling pet meds on TV(or as I call it doggy dope)?

  24. guerilla-nation says at 10:54 am, June 4th, 2008

    why doesn’t he just give them on of those big pch checks on superbowl sunday and be done with it already.

    YESSSSSSSS!

  25. RaptorAvatar says at 10:56 am, June 4th, 2008

    ManchuCandidate: I’m waiting for MTV to replace “Cribs” with a reality show where spoiled teens have to go on a date with Seth Rogen in order to save their family’s McMansions in fucking Orange County.

  26. gurukalehuru says at 11:01 am, June 4th, 2008

    I was ready to write a snarky comment, but then thought better of it. Ed McMahon is a harmless old guy who had a great talent for laughing on cue, kissing ass and faking sincerity.
    Maybe he could write a book, like Scott McClellan?

  27. Alas for the number two bananas. Nobody notices their appeel. *cough*

  28. gjdodger says at 11:18 am, June 4th, 2008

    Karnak holds envelope up to his head: “Ed McMahon living in a furniture crate”.
    Rip, puff, read: “What’s a ‘Hack-in-the-Box’?”

  29. Just watch your mailbox for the foreclosure notice with MY picture on it!

  30. Vanity Smurf says at 11:26 am, June 4th, 2008

    RaptorAvatar: “The Real Fucktards of Orange County” — I would be on that faster than “My Super Sweet 16.”

  31. Vanity Smurf says at 11:30 am, June 4th, 2008

    jimh: You may have already defaulted.

  32. gjdodger: Win.

  33. V572625694 says at 12:05 pm, June 4th, 2008
  34. liquiddaddy says at 12:06 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

  35. mrtrailsafety says at 12:33 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Star Search, dog food, Publisher’s Clearing House. Where art thou, o Denny Terrio???

  36. Don Juan says at 12:57 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Heeeeeeeeeeeeeers (the outdoor) Johnny!

  37. shortsshortsshorts says at 1:05 pm, June 4th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: I think he’s had a hand in almost every television ripoff known to man, if not a back room hand at the very least.

  38. Aurelio says at 1:28 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Ah, the suffering of the wicked! There’s nothing like it. That’s supposed to be one of the pleasures of going to heaven–you get to look down at the evil people suffering in hell. What a marvelous gift from our divine creator to be permitted this pleasure right here in this life. Amen.

  39. weirdiowasculpture says at 1:31 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Just think, in a couple of years poor old WALNUTS! will be in similar circumstances. Now we know why he’s running; he needs the pension.

  40. NoWireHangers says at 4:17 pm, June 4th, 2008

    How could CountryWide foreclose on the “house where dreams come true”?

    I’m sure Ed has the money for his mortgage payments, it’s just that those giant checks are so hard to fit into the mailbox.

  41. shortsshortsshorts says at 7:11 pm, June 4th, 2008

    NoWireHangers: My firm is suing Countrywide for that same reason…. hmm….

  42. 1ofUS says at 8:48 pm, June 4th, 2008

    Six years ago McMahon sued his insurance company for $20 million, claiming it botched a simple repair on a broken pipe and, as a result, allowed a toxic mold to spread through his house, making his family sick and killing his dog.

    Then a couple of years ago he fell and broke his neck. HAR! OH HARDY HAR HAR!

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