MORTGAGE CRISIS  10:08 am June 4, 2008

Foreclosure Crisis Takes Down Beloved Sidekick Ed McMahon

by Sara K. Smith

:(America might be busy ejaculating in its collective pants about the end of Racism and the beginning of Hope, but that doesn’t stop our nation’s bankers from the very important work of booting the elderly from their homes. That’s right, our mortgage-foreclosure-housing-bubble crisis marches on, and it looks like the next stop on the hobo train is swank Beverly Hills, where former Johnny Carson sidekick and Howard Stern prank call subject Ed McMahon has run into some financial troubles.

Ed McMahon is now 85 years old, and he broke his neck a year and a half ago so he can’t work and anyway he is 85, which means that now he can’t afford to live in his house. It has been on the market for two years but has found nobody to love it yet.

Presumably, seeing this written about in the Wall Street Journal will convince Evil Lender Countrywide to give Ed McMahon a break and work out some accommodation that doesn’t involve a carboard box and canned cat food.

Ed McMahon May Lose Beverly Hills Home [Wall Street Journal]

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Nigerian Business Executive June 4, 2008 at 10:13 am

Quite honestly, I thought he was dead.

ReelectTilden June 4, 2008 at 10:14 am


From The Bridge June 4, 2008 at 10:15 am

Ed McMahon never once came in his pants.

norbziness June 4, 2008 at 10:16 am

Thank God for those illegal human liver cultivation farms in the depths of the Amazonian rainforest.

ManchuCandidate June 4, 2008 at 10:19 am

85 and still has a mortgage? Mrs McMahon sure must by “young” and purty to be make poor old Ed work like a 65 year old movie star.

Ed won’t be the last celeb or CEO who loses their “house” (6 bedrooms come on!) in this “wonderful” housing bubble, but his will be one of the few I feel sort of bad about.

Not_So_Much June 4, 2008 at 10:21 am

I actually ejaculate in my pants for totally different reasons…

I’d always heard that Big Ed had more cash than Johnny or almost anyone else in show biz. Urban legend??

JewdishoowarySquare June 4, 2008 at 10:22 am

He can come stay at my house, but only if he brings that $10,000,000 that I may already have won.

bemused page June 4, 2008 at 10:22 am

85? They’ll never get the old man smell out of that house. Way to go bankers.

Bypartizoa June 4, 2008 at 10:22 am

Jay Leno should step up and buy his house. Or at least let Ed live in one of his fucking cars.

trailerparkrepublican June 4, 2008 at 10:25 am

That’s not change we can believe in!!
Perhaps he can get work as McNuttypopsiclestickteetholdberg’s understudy.

friendlynerd June 4, 2008 at 10:26 am

He blew all his mortgage-money on hookers and coke.

loudmouthredhead June 4, 2008 at 10:31 am

Did you guys really have to mention ejaculation and Ed McMahon in the same post? REALLY?[re=6366]ManchuCandidate[/re]: That’s what I’m thinking…He must have moved frequently to avoid bitter Star Search losers. Those people are cray-zee me thinks.

loudmouthredhead June 4, 2008 at 10:38 am

Ed will just have to become Walnuts! exclusive supplier of Rascals for the campaign. I mean, he’s got a lot of ground to cover right? He’ll burn through one of those a week! H-E-L-L-O moolah!
“You are correct, sir! Ha HA!”

MathewBrooks June 4, 2008 at 10:38 am

oooh i bet hes bitter

AngryBlakGuy June 4, 2008 at 10:38 am

…in that photo he is OBVIOUSLY pandering to the McCain demographic! Enticing them with those rascal scooters!

WhiteTrash June 4, 2008 at 10:38 am

i heard he had more $$$ than god… plus he got millions to settle house mold lawsuit
i guess all the $$$ went for Depends and Polygrip

AngryBlakGuy June 4, 2008 at 10:44 am

…first Ed McMahon! Whose next Bob Barker; have they no decency?!?!

loudmouthredhead June 4, 2008 at 10:45 am

Everyone, let’s take a moment to thank Ed for not resorting to appearing in E.D. commercials, unlike a certain senator…I’m looking at you B. Dole, or Bob D. See how I was discrete there?

mookworthjwilson June 4, 2008 at 10:49 am

If only he had Diabeetus…then he could get in on some of that Brimley action…or he might have it…he is old after all…

shortsshortsshorts June 4, 2008 at 10:49 am

If he cancels the Pubishers Clearing House, there’s gonna be hell to pay. HELL to pay I tell you. That’ him, right?

loudmouthredhead June 4, 2008 at 10:53 am

[re=6394]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I don’t think he has the power to “cancel” the place, but the old people would stop answering the door if it wasn’t him that pulled up in a van with balloons and cameras.

MoodProcessor June 4, 2008 at 10:53 am

I think Leno needs some Alpo commercials live, on-set. Maybe he could go work with Letterman, and adjuct to Stupid Pet Tricks.

AngryBlakGuy June 4, 2008 at 10:53 am

[re=6394]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: …wasn’t he selling pet meds on TV(or as I call it doggy dope)?

guerilla-nation June 4, 2008 at 10:54 am

why doesn’t he just give them on of those big pch checks on superbowl sunday and be done with it already.


RaptorAvatar June 4, 2008 at 10:56 am

[re=6366]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I’m waiting for MTV to replace “Cribs” with a reality show where spoiled teens have to go on a date with Seth Rogen in order to save their family’s McMansions in fucking Orange County.

gurukalehuru June 4, 2008 at 11:01 am

I was ready to write a snarky comment, but then thought better of it. Ed McMahon is a harmless old guy who had a great talent for laughing on cue, kissing ass and faking sincerity.
Maybe he could write a book, like Scott McClellan?

TGY June 4, 2008 at 11:16 am

Alas for the number two bananas. Nobody notices their appeel. *cough*

gjdodger June 4, 2008 at 11:18 am

Karnak holds envelope up to his head: “Ed McMahon living in a furniture crate”.
Rip, puff, read: “What’s a ‘Hack-in-the-Box’?”

jimh June 4, 2008 at 11:21 am

Just watch your mailbox for the foreclosure notice with MY picture on it!

Vanity Smurf June 4, 2008 at 11:26 am

[re=6403]RaptorAvatar[/re]: “The Real Fucktards of Orange County” — I would be on that faster than “My Super Sweet 16.”

Vanity Smurf June 4, 2008 at 11:30 am

[re=6446]jimh[/re]: You may have already defaulted.

jimh June 4, 2008 at 11:32 am

[re=6438]gjdodger[/re]: Win.

V572625694 June 4, 2008 at 12:05 pm

[re=6412]gurukalehuru[/re]: +2

liquiddaddy June 4, 2008 at 12:06 pm

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

mrtrailsafety June 4, 2008 at 12:33 pm

Star Search, dog food, Publisher’s Clearing House. Where art thou, o Denny Terrio???

Don Juan June 4, 2008 at 12:57 pm

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeers (the outdoor) Johnny!

shortsshortsshorts June 4, 2008 at 1:05 pm

[re=6400]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I think he’s had a hand in almost every television ripoff known to man, if not a back room hand at the very least.

Aurelio June 4, 2008 at 1:28 pm

Ah, the suffering of the wicked! There’s nothing like it. That’s supposed to be one of the pleasures of going to heaven–you get to look down at the evil people suffering in hell. What a marvelous gift from our divine creator to be permitted this pleasure right here in this life. Amen.

weirdiowasculpture June 4, 2008 at 1:31 pm

Just think, in a couple of years poor old WALNUTS! will be in similar circumstances. Now we know why he’s running; he needs the pension.

NoWireHangers June 4, 2008 at 4:17 pm

How could CountryWide foreclose on the “house where dreams come true”?

I’m sure Ed has the money for his mortgage payments, it’s just that those giant checks are so hard to fit into the mailbox.

shortsshortsshorts June 4, 2008 at 7:11 pm

[re=7047]NoWireHangers[/re]: My firm is suing Countrywide for that same reason…. hmm….

1ofUS June 4, 2008 at 8:48 pm

Six years ago McMahon sued his insurance company for $20 million, claiming it botched a simple repair on a broken pipe and, as a result, allowed a toxic mold to spread through his house, making his family sick and killing his dog.

Then a couple of years ago he fell and broke his neck. HAR! OH HARDY HAR HAR!

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