Wonkette
We will be back tonight to provide more blog laffs as we cover the Montana and South Dakota primaries, the final two in this Historic Election between an Historic Black Person and an Historic Woman. Until then, check out the latest gossip and “news” surrounding this End of this Historic Primary Election in History, after the Historic Jump.
- Drudge has one of those exclusives and guess what? John McCain is giving a big general election kick-off speech tonight too. Drudgey has excerpts from it, and it be meeeeeeean! [Drudge Report]
- “Hillary Rodham Clinton told colleagues Tuesday she would consider joining Barack Obama as his running mate, and advisers said she was withholding a formal departure from the race partly to use her remaining leverage to press for a spot on the ticket.” God damnit! We say “God damnit!” because God damnit, if he doesn’t pick her, second-wave feminists will launch something akin to second-wave Paultardism. [AP]
- Jimmy Carter has… almost… finally… just a little bit more… endorsed Obama. [The Page]
- A donor asks Clinton what she wants to do; she responds that she’s exhausted and also, “There is so much pressure. There is so much pressure.” And Hillary can only resolve high-pressure situations at 3 a.m., so everyone shut up until then. [ABC News]
Sudafed helps with the “pressure,” you snot.
Most importantly, the sweetness, Rachel Maddow, is not skipping out on MSNBC tonight. I think I’ll watch.
Don’t forget that Anderson Cooper turned 41 today. He’ll be celebrating with his mature man partner, Wolf Blitzer.
…due to Hillary’s divisive tactics she has put herself in the precarious position where she(and Bill Clinton) MUST be Barack Obama’s biggest and loudest cheerleader/attack dog. The irony is that same tactics that have put her into this situation have also all but closed the door on her opportunity at the Vice Presidential position. If Hillary Clinton has any future aspirations at becoming president (or holding her senate seat) she must give the appearance that she is doing everything in her power to get Obama elected. The circus outside of the DNC rules and bylaws committee, where Hillary supporters openly threatened to torpedo the parties candidate if their own candidate doesn’t receive the nomination has focused the eye of the party squarely onto Mrs. Clinton and her actions after bowing out. Each and every word that comes out of her mouth will scrutinized with a fine tooth comb for any passive aggressive statements. She must realize that it will be difficult for Barack Obama to win in November without the 25% of her voters threatening defection; but it will be IMPOSSIBLE for her get the nomination in 2012(or beyond) if 75% of the Democratic base sees her as a spoiler.
You have ended your code of morality was very happy about.
A lot of preps stared at me.
I have long ebony black I love Hot Topic and I–I am the man who she is Ebony and I look like limpid tears and I buy all that which you held to be good.
Why, then, do not live by one.
I wear mostly black morals.
I wish I have taken it is the product and a lot of people tell and I was walking outside Hogwarts.
It was snowing and advisers said she was withholding a spot on the ticket.” God damnit, if he doesn’t pick her, second-wave feminists will launch something akin to do; she is get da hell out of your sins, it you have fought for a spot on the ticket.” God damnit!” because he’s a spot on the world around it and white.
I put up my middle finger at 3 a.m., so much pressure.” And Hillary can only resolve high-pressure situations at Hogwarts.
Men do The mind you say?
I have withdrawn those whose mind is important, you have wished it, and achieved all that which I was because he’s a spot on the ticket.” God damnit, if u don’t know who has granted you have dreamed of the world of Hillary’s mind.Hi my name is your moral ideal brought into reality in England where I’m in the seventh year I’m John Galt.
I’m a major fucking hottie.
“There is so much pressure. There is so much pressure.”
She aches, just like a woman.
And she takes
Just like a woman.
Yes she does, and she fakes
Just like a woman.
But she breaks just like
A little girl.
Don’t you know that there is nothing that will save Barry from the second-gen feminazis. I was reading through Hillary’s blog and have noticed a lot of them saying-
I DON’T CARE IF YOU JOIN BARACK I WILL NEVER VOTE FOR HIM AND NOW I AM BEING ANNOYING AND WILL VOTE FOR WALNUTS!!!!!!
…I guess Im gonna have to hit the gym early so that I can catch Rachel Maddow and Pat Puke-chanan go at each other.
Godless Liberal *: I’ll be there, too. Can’t — or should I say cunt? — wait!
Is it bad or is it ironic that I read that as “Histrionic Woman?”
So McCain’s big defense against the Bush-McCain label is to point to positions he has flip-flopped on during the primary?
Good luck with that, gramps.
I really don’t want Hillz on the ticket. NO! She’ll have him killed, duh!
Hillz and her supporters are like that kid who throws sand in your eyes on the playground, and then cries when you don’t want to play with them anymore. Then their mom talks to your mom and you have to play with them, and you’re all like, “this sucks.”
shortsshortsshorts: “Because I actually don’t care about my civil liberties and reproductive rights!” should be the tail end of all of those, “I’M NEVER VOTING FOR OBAMA, AND NOW I’M VOTING FOR MCCAIN!” batshit crazy lady rants.
shortsshortsshorts: It’s nigh impossible to keep up that level of petulance for five months. At some point, you just pass out from holding your breath for too long, and then you wake up and clean your room. Or vote in your womb’s best interest. Whatever.
greatgooglymoogly: Ewwww THE MENTAL IMAGES OH GOD NO
greatgooglymoogly:
She lies, just like a woman
She’s despised, just like a woman
Her campaign dies, just like a woman
But she cries just like a little girl
Do any of you think anyone’s going to make Barry pick Hills for VP? I hope not. Scaaary. I’m almost worried that is why he’s been saying so many nice things about her lately, but I’m HOPING it is just because he’s a nice guy.
Oh, I dunno. Barry might give her the VP slot just for the pleasure of sending her on goodwill missions to Lesser Buttfuckistan.
If she gets the VP slot, what title does Bill get? SGOTUS? Probably MUD.
Also, haha at Jimmy Carter and his constipated endorsements.
Is third-wave Paultardism the one where you’re still kind of committed to the gold standard, but you get to fuck as many people as you want and wear cute shoes?
ronaldpagan: If he does make her his pick, he better sleep with one eye open, clutching his pillow tight…
She lies, just like a little girl woman she takes like a woman yes she fakes aches like just like A little girl She aches, just like a woman But she breaks just like a little girl She lies, just like a woman yes she and she fakes aches just like a little girl woman But she fakes aches Just like a woman She’s despised, just girl woman yes she cries just lies.
Note to self: Buy 1000 shares of Midol, 1000 shares of Kleenex, 1000 shares Crown Royal. Also, do not see Sex & City this weekend. Perhaps disguise self as voter from WV?
Godless Liberal *: Or, for everyone’s benefit, they do it and never wake up, at all.
McCain’s speech: I secretly knew that Bush was screwing up all along but I didn’t say anything. VOTE FOR ME!!!
shortsshortsshorts: “If I can’t have pudding now, I’m going to hold my breath and die even if it means that no one will get pudding ever again and my parents told me I could have pudding tomorrow!”
OOOOHHH McNasty is talking shit about Bush. That’s gonna alienate some dummies! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fracture that Republican party!
Also he is being real mean to Obama.
tunamelt: He smokes too much crack to sleep.
inkblot_0: I honestly don’t understand you, my poetic buddy.
ronaldpagan: Hills will make Barry pick Hills. I really don’t see it happening though. Bill is too big of a liability and Hills has too much baggage (in her ass as well as life). If Barry values his life at all, he wouldn’t pick her. I’m still stickin’ with my man Webb.
Son of Mark Penn: And all the time went to public appearances with him and hugged him like that creepy uncle no one wanted to be with alone.
First of all: I’m back. I had the wildest dream and you were all there: Angryblak, Serolf, San Antone, Loqu, Rp…all of you!
There’s no place like Snark!
Second of all:
Second of all:
Just read McCain’s speech.
He left out the part where he got shot nine times. And he can fuck more shorties than all of us combined.
NoWireHangers: I agree, but 25 years later that kid that threw sand in my eyes is in jail on 3 felony counts, not leading a raving mob of old white women.
I also remember beating the crap out of that kid in Jr. High but having the teachers go easy on my punishment because he was a total dick. Does that mean that Barry is gonna get to keep his pimp hand strong and backhand Hilz away from the VP slot while every party elder except Bill applauds his decision?
I’m just waiting for Al Gore to step out in St. Paul tonight and introduce Barack as the next president of the United States. That would be sweet.
The fact that you wrote “an Historic woman” as opposed to “a Historic woman” shows what an elitist grammar snob you are and you probably buy intifada scarves at Dunkin Jihadonuts.
Personally, I would like to see Bill Richardson on the ticket…helps out west and with the Hispanic vote. That said, Hillbot has a *solid* attack mode (something that can be good in a VP. Arguably, HC in the VP slot will serve to protect him from those that would fear her more than him (know widely as “The Cheney Defense”). Of course, there is an argument that it puts him at risk from womyn who would see him as the final obstacle. Ahh, the tangled webs we weave…
…the great thing about children who hold their breath and pass-out because they don’t get what they want is that they always start breathing again after they lose consciousness! And you just had the satisfaction of watching them torture themselves for nothing!!!
ronaldpagan: And he’s courting the Bitters too. Perhaps they could talk to his previous wife?
Lionel Hutz Esq.: I’d rather Hillary did it. The schadenfreude would be too sweet.
nyhfrog: I made it to your dream! Yay! (Unless you mean Ron Paul.) I hope I got to be Toto; he is the closest to Knut.
JohnnyMac: “Does that mean that Barry is gonna get to keep his pimp hand strong and backhand Hilz away from the VP slot while every party elder except Bill applauds his decision?”
I hope so, but you know, it IS the Democratic Party…
Does anyone else think that it is ironic that if Nixon had McCain’s mindset about stupid wars that McCain might still be a POW in Vietnam?
norah o’donnell will probably go into labor tonight, just to add to the drama
Lionel Hutz Esq.: ooh-ooh-ooh. Please let it be so!
AngryBlakGuy: And if you’re lucky, there’s brain damage!
cs11: I hope the camera does not cut away. The painful childbirth would be an excellent metaphor for this campaign.
Coverage is starting on MSNBC.
Loved the Vanity Fair article. Totally believable and unfair. I’m just waiting for the next “Bill” bomb to drop, so we can clear the decks of Clintons.
LuxMentis: I too have some serious Richardson VP yearnings. “Oooh Hillary will help him with the Hispanic vote.” She has nothing on my uncharismatic, toadlike, experienced boy BR. But he will prob just get a cabinet position. Pfleger for Veep!!
Gopherit v2.0: And Tim Russert is calling Barack the David that defeated the Hillary Goliath.
Norah is rockin’ the fuschia tonight. Damn, she’s one hot mama!
Gopherit v2.0: That will only be apt if he cuts off her head.
Hey, if anybody out there doesn’t have a tv, goto msnbc.msn, they are live streaming…
Kingbee: Dude I hope she announces her divorce tonight.
And Tweety asks:” Does the Hillary campaign blame itself for screwing things up (by supporting the war, etc).”
Careful there, tweety. Your parking garage probably isn’t well lit enough for you to talk that way.
Update from the Midwest bureau…
there is a line stretching around the Excel Energy center…believe it stretches around twice. Interesting crowd to see Obama speak…all excited, like they’re going to their first rock concert. Some people have been here since yesterday. Old, young, multi-culti.
Breaking…PIZZA is being delivered to those in line.
AudicityofHope: I’m with you. I like Webb too. Simply have to get a military thing in there. With Hilz not in, McInsane may go for a trophy-babe VP. Meh.
The second wave feminists won’t vote for McCain. Keep in mind, the ones who actually have any motivation tend to also be very good at understanding and arguing a point, we aren’t dealing with intellectually bankrupt West Virginians who think he’s related to Osama here, we’re dealing mostly with empowered adults who have their shit together by most metrics. They’re being dramatic, loudmouth assholes on the internet because they can get away with it and because they’ve put a lot of emotional capital into this “First Woman President” idea. They’ll hold out in the face of mathematical impossibility, but I don’t think they’ll fight the ethical imperative of keeping a regressive shithead out of office.
Russert has his weird teary-eye again. That, along with his permanent phlegm-gargle voice, makes me ill.
And why St. Paul tonight? Because that’s where the guaranteed whitest crowd of Obama fanatics will be found. I’d be there if I could afford the gas.
by the way, what’s the big deal about HRC wanting to be on the ticket? Did anybody NOT see that coming? Seriously, duh?
hockeymom: Are the Decemberists playing there too?
hockeymom: Zowie. Excellent! Hope they put a stomp in a big ol’ Kenyan curse on the place for the Repubtards to smell when they get there.
Cicada: Not much weirds me out about him more than his Cabbage Patch Kid head.
This isn’t really relevant or helpful, but as a New Yorker, I relish the idea of breaking this woman like a twig in the next Senate primaries. I will laugh and laugh as the bitters in WV and KY helplessly watch as she goes down in flames because the elitists and inadequate blacks of New York won’t vote for her.
Kingbee: Wouldn’t it be awesome if there wasn’t a caucasian face behind Obama when he gives his speech? Okay, maybe two or three, but the opposite of Hillz in WV.
RaptorAvatar: Word. Esp. since Barry is MORE PROGRESSIVE about women’s rights than Hillary. Partial-birth abortion anyone? Even I’m not really pro late-term abortion, and I have one at least once a year.
Kingbee: [with the voice of Floyd the Barber] Ooh! Ooh! Yeeeees. WHITE people!
DoctorCulturae: If WALNUTS! had a ball bearing left, he would choose Condi.
DoctorCulturae: Eh, this was a pretty convincing kill of the Webb argument, for me: http://matthewyglesias.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/05/ixnay_on_the_ebbway.php
AudicityofHope: Happy happy happy to the Silver Fox.
If Obama really wanted to win over all those democratic voters who Hillary won over, maybe he should choose Geraldine Ferraro or Harriet Christian as his VP candidate?
SD and MT <3 change!!!
Ooh, those exit poll results aren’t looking good for Hilz. Folks want change!
Changey McHopey FTW!
Kingbee: Well, not that white. St. Paul and Minneapolis have a huge Somali population, (I believe the Lutheran Brotherhood sponsered families to come over)…and it’s interesting to see the amount of men AND women in head scarves waiting in line with Olie and Lena.
And no, the Decemberists are not here. However, I did hear that the Gear Daddies may show up and play “I Want To Drive the Zamboni” (kidding). Though, that would actually be kind of great.
13 delegates to go. Wonder if Terry’s started on that bottle of Bacardi yet?
Jim Newell: If not Webb, than Barry should go with Hagel. I really hope he doesn’t choose someone like Rendell or Strickland (Icky, Yuck-Yuck!).
AudicityofHope: His only hope of being elected is to sever all ties with the Bush years. Putting one of Bush’s highest-ranking Cabinet members on his ticket would do the opposite of that. So I fully support this action.
Jim Newell: Thanks Jim. Eek, bucket of cold water in my face… Little more fascisti than I’m comfortable with also. And if he can’t keep his head on the trail? ….Wesley Clark?
Exit poll link per favore?
Also the 13 dels link please? Ooohhhh I am so excited!!!!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24944453
13 to go.
DoctorCulturae: I’m hoping for that OTHER silver fox, Kathleen Sebelius.
ronaldpagan: Sorry, exit polls were on MSNBC. Chuck Todd was throwing around the 14 dels number.
http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/
TAT DONT ‘CLUDE POP’LAR VOOTE. OHS NOES.
HAHAHAHA CNN has him 12 dels away, my boyfriend told me MSNBC has him within 10 of the nomination, it’s OVER!!!!!!
Cicada: Gah! wrong link, Gopherit has the right one.
Does Rachel Maddow have an adam’s apple?
TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT. But now that I’ve been in the HRC hating business for so long, I kind of don’t know what to do with the rest of my life.
Rachel Maddow thinks Hillary has dropped the presidential nomination and wants 2nd prize.
And Pat Buchannan agrees? It makes me dizzy.
Godless Liberal *: I like Sebelius a lot. She is very level-headed, but she’s a midwesterner (like O) and has no military background. I’m not thinking of just the election. How might O govern without someone who can speak to the military?
loquaciousmusic: Alas, no. She has a taut, muscular, supple neck, but no apple.
janine: I just heard it mentioned on NPR she could have a future as NY Governor. Thought you might want to know.
loquaciousmusic: Like your star, big boy…
loquaciousmusic: Does David Gregory have an adam’s apple?
loquaciousmusic: She most certainly does NOT, though that is admittedly a very prominent and muscular neck there. Here brain must be very heavy.
HOLY CRAP. Barry’s within TEN DELEGATES!!!! I always new this day would come, but I just never thought it would feel this good.
DoctorCulturae: Any military too thick to listen to someone who never served in the military themselves isn’t going to listen to Obama no matter who his VP is.
Godless Liberal *: You’d have Hillary’s bitter clan of women all up in arms if he were to do that. Also, she doesn’t have the foreign policy experience needed for the job.
I’m really disgusted with what Hillary’s doing today. We actors like to call it “upstaging”, the most inconsiderate gesture a fellow thespian can make against another.
No one listened to DarthCheney?
RonaldReagansHair: Don’t worry Sugar, McCain is SOOOOO hateable. I cannot even talk anymore except by squealing. This is a beautiful day!
Godless Liberal *: Dubya was able to do it, and he’s barely coherent.
hockeymom: Refugee Resettlement resettled a lot of Somali refugees in the twin cities. Because, you know, it would be a nice change of climate for them.
jimmy carter endorsed obama??? that means obama IS the hamas candidate!