Wonkette
This general election prediction map comes from the famous angry blogger Kos. It pits Unelectable Obama vs. Maverick McCain and allocates states according to the current Pollster.com state polling averages, so there’s no “funny business” with the math. While the numbers grant Obama Ohio and Pennsyvlania, they don’t give him Michigan (supposedly a must-win), Florida, Virginia or Nevada. The result? Obama 283, McCain 255. And this is how Al Gore will become president again at the Convention. [Daily Kos]
JOHN MCCAIN
Wait, where are Hillary’s states?
But Pennsylvania and Ohio only count if Hillary wins, so this is total balderdash!
255? Whole lotta stupid states.
Not to get all wonky, but http://www.fivethirtyeight.com is actually more quantitative than this, using statistical regressions and what amounts to a Monte Carlo simulation to predict the election on a daily basis. It’s a great blog.
I’m done now.
Just for once, I’d like to see America’s penis get really ice cold blue in the fall.
BTW, Wonkette, you forgot one fundamental element on this here map…Where the fuck is John King?!
i lIKe tO cOloR AS wELl
Iowa?!? Really?!? Did Obama promise the Feds would buy 1 trillion gallons of ethanol or somethign?
…this doesn’t take into consideration the “Great Vagina Civil War” in which Florida and Michigan CHOPPED off the electoral map because they are peninsulas and peninsulas look like PENISES!!!
Indiana? Seriously?
And the country will be re-christened Happy Unicorn Fun Love Land!
I HATE crap like this, it is too far out to make real predictions based on polls. You hear that, Hilltards/Obamabots? CRAP!
It almost looks like the Canada 2.0 map from 2004 with a few exceptions. If worse come to worse, I can live with Canada City 2.0. But remember, you have to say aboot and eh. And you’d better like Tim Hortons or else.
…can someone use Hill-Tard math and explain to me how the Democrat’s have had a higher turn out in every state and still manage to lose states in the General election?
Obama should just promise that once there’s a Mulsim in the whitehouse, the Saudis will ensure that gas prices fall by 60%.
No New York? Really?
AngryBlakGuy: I though Michigan was the vagina to Florida’s penis? That’s why I continue to say that they should go fuck themselves!
And so for the next four years we will hear every day about how the electoral college does not represent the will of the people, if a candidate only has to win three states (all gay) and that’s enough to be president.
…283 to 255? If it is that close then Obama is a freaking failure!
There’s no way Obama will win those assholes in Florida, but I think MI will be his baby.
AudicityofHope: correction: *thought*
AudicityofHope: You make a really good point: flip that bad boy around and insert into Lack Michigan… and it destroys Chicago in a wave of conservative potency!
Get ready to call Obama your “Daddy”.
wE SHoULd uSe mOor cOlorZ. dAt mAKEs accURAczY.
Florida is pretty penile, I’ll grant you, but note that there are no corresponding balls to go with it. As for Michigan, it doesn’t look anything like a vagina. Now LAKE Michigan, THAT looks like a vagina.
The best consequence of the 2008 election could very well be Florida’s ultimate transformation into a solid Red state, meaning that it will join the same electoral dustbin as Texas, and we’ll never hear about that godforsaken place ever again.
Patty Dumpling: fivethirtyeight has Hillary being the tougher opponent against McCain. Don’t let her quit now that she has Obama right where she wants him, lulled into a false sense of victory.
Lake Erie also looks kind of rectal, which would also account for the smell.
Idaho, Nevada, and West Virginia go Obama? I want some of those drugs.
shortsshortsshorts: Facts are only facts if illustrated with many colors in a graph.
Did these polls explain that Obama was a Muslim and blew up the Pentagon when he was a lad doing cocain?
If not, I suspect liberal bias.
McCain can’t win New Hampshire, his illegitimate black baby will sink him….
I call shaningans! Hillary won Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, California, New Jersey, West Virgina and Kentucky. What sort of sexist decided to give those states to mens?
Also, it would help tremendously if this were animated or featured a talking, animated state to explain this to me. Like Schoolhouse Rock.
None of those states are important. The election has been decided because Jimmy Carter just threw all of womankind under the bus.
Wait, didn’t he already endorse Obama with a wink and a nod like a month ago?
Another Drudge Siren:
HILLARY OPEN TO VEEP SLOT
In other news, sky is blue, water is wet.
Why don’t we paint them all black, like the soon to be formerly White House?
“Democrats have the money advantage…” Uh, since when?
If the Dems had the Repub money, they’d burn theirs.
If you can’t get this right, why should we look at your
stupid map?
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Correction. It was CRACK, according to the wise sage of South Dakota. Stop trying to paint Balack Osama as an elitist powder cokehead.
Obama will NOT win Indiana. It’s filled with nothing but Bitters. Who can blame them? They live in Indiana…
Pop Socket: Yeah, I’ve been ignoring that aspect of it. It all boils down to the Florida ancients/Jews/Bitters in that case.
jagorev: If I had a dirty mind I would have read that post…never mind.
Why am I always on the red team?!! I’m gonna start sulking now.
I’m voting for Tossup in the General. It’s got winnerability!
I think we need a much more detailed map, like, with the google earth-super-zoom on individual voters shaking their fists next to their candidate’s lawn signs.
jagorev: Without Harriet Christian, all is lost! Hillary HAS to be president….she has to!
Hey… since when do caucus states count in this thing?
Tits_LaRue: People should just have floating jewels over their heads showing their voting tendencies, like how the gem in the Sims shows their mood.
I’m on teevee talking with Don Lemon, everybody!
Once again, The Dividers are busy doing their weasel work. And why not? It worked for them last time, and it will work again. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
MI is the hand, FL is the penis. wankers.
I just hope Obama wears a Daishiki on inauguration day.
ReelectTilden: absolutely no way in indiana
tunamelt: hahaha, can we lock PaulTards up in a doorless room until they pee on the floor and eventually die, begging for their lives in that cute, unintelligible gibberish that the Sims speak?
Ooh, a projection from the Kos! I’ll just bookmark this page and see how close they come the day after McCain wins.
Shmucky DeFukhed: Nice to see the truth in advertising with your handle if you’re gonna troll. Saves us the trouble.
Gopherit v2.0: I’m not trolling. I really have bookmarked the page. And I really will revisit it November 5th.
Have a nice day!
Patty Dumpling: Good site. Shows Obama winning marginally by 271 to 266 electoral votes, which is much more likely than the landslide scenarios.
Hey, first President-of-color. No one said it’d be easy. :p
Shmucky DeFukhed: Your name suits you well, Mr. Fuckhead.
TGY: I’m pretty into it- it seems legit. The guy who runs it was a statistician for MLB.
shortsshortsshorts: Don’t you want the Kos prediction revisited on Nov. 5th?
Shmucky DeFukhed: Can you take pictures of the blessed occasion and forward them? I don’t know why, but the inconsolable tears of a McCainiac make me smile.
And a good day to you, too.
@Fuckhead: Can’t we revisit it on Nov. 6th? I’ll be too hungover from my Obama victory celebration to examine old maps on the 5th.
obfuscator:
In fact, the only states that should count are those that voted for Hillary. All the rest just showed that they are anti-American and Muslim.
Gopherit v2.0: shortsshortsshorts: Play nice you two. Shmucky just hasn’t heard that McCain has already promised to step down and make Hillary president should he be able to stay awake through election day.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Only for you, as I am in need of an attorney.
Shmucky DeFukhed: I’ll bite. But who will throw the election at WALNUTS?
Lionel Hutz Esq.: I was nice. Well, maybe not about the tears, but he did name himself Shmucky DeFukhed.
Oh, Christ…..I’m sounding like Hillary. Mea Culpa.
Can I ask you guys a completely serious question? What do you guys see in Obama that has you so excited? He has no executive experience, no military experience, very limited experience at politics at the federal level, no experience at all at reaching across the aisle, no working knowledge of basic economics, he has the public approval of a long list of America-haters (Fidel Castro, Hamas, Louis Farrakhan, New Black Panther Party, Hugo Chavez, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, etc.), he seems intent on resurrecting Neville Chamberlain’s foreign policies and FDR’s economic policies, and he lost 7 of the 10 most populous states to a former First Lady (a questionable candidate in her own right).
All kidding and trollery aside, how can any rational person be optimistic about this guy?
Shmucky DeFukhed: You forgot that he is also black.
but all trollery aside, I think you are dumb.
Shmucky DeFukhed: In other words, he is more qualified than our current president. Good point. And, hell, unlike McCain, he actually knows who we are fighting, why, and how many troops are doing the fighting.
You also know that you talking points (half of which are wrong or meaningless, but mroe on that later.) could also describe Abraham Lincoln.
But in all seriousness, what get’s us excited is that he has a buldge in his pants nearly as big as Dick Cheney’s.
Shmucky DeFukhed: Nice straw man you built there. Who the fuck would vote for that guy?
I reject most of your characterizations and your inferences. Feel free to back them up with evidence, but you aren’t going to get
a defense of the guy you described. He doesn’t exist.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: What Hutz said.
Shmucky DeFukhed: Because he’s running against John McCain.
Shmucky DeFukhed: Google it.
But I commend all of you for displaying the truth, that he is BLACK. Usually I’m all over someone like you with Gopherit, but I don’t think you are worth it. You aren’t repulsive, you’re just unlikeable.
Canada always goes white.
What is it that keeps the blue out of the island nation of New Hampshire - the credit checks? Lord, they must be proud!
Recall Idaho: That’s why it’s The Great White North? Or is cause they don’t let black humans in?
Hmmm, I figured as much.
AudicityofHope:
We could also use the purple melding thing as seen in 2004. Straight (so to speak) out of the Bullock and Jones catalog.