Here is John McCain’s campaign manager, Rick Davis, looking into a camera and going cross-eyed with the effort of reading off some cue cards. He wants you to know that John McCain is holding a contest, in which you can make a video about your Selfless American Neighbor! And if you win it, you and your neighbor will be punished with compulsory attendance at the Republican National Convention and a public teabagging courtesy of the presumptive nominee. This is the most tragically awkward video in the history of YouTube. [John McCain 2008]

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  • graceless

    Yeah, he looks excited.

  • FMA

    Selfless American Neighbor?
    I nominate the woman across the street who gets undressed without closing the blinds!

  • Serolf Divad
  • Patty Dumpling

    I know an ex-military, ex-first responder pastor!

    Jeremiah Wright. Perfect!

  • ladymacbeth

    i nominate the ‘hillary in the house’ sgt. pepper dudes.

    that way, the republican convention would have some suitable art / culture.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …WARNING: if you participate in this contest and win, it is pretty much guaranteed that you will NEVER see any of the tools you have lended to your neighbor EVER AGAIN!!!

  • Godless Liberal *

    It would be more motivational if he would shut up and throw a rock in a pond.

  • NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    John McCain still doesn’t understand teh YouTubes.

    I thought selflessness was a red commie idea? You know, like “country above self”? I thought the great american dream was all about screwing your neighbor, your employer, your employee, your wife, your pool boy, and anyone else just to make a buck… i.e., whores and their diamonds are the best capitalists ever.

    SOMEBODY was brainwashed by the commies while they were a POW… maybe we’ve been wrong the whole time, and ROBERTA MCCAIN is really Eleanor Iselin

  • Domestic Goddess

    Sounds like the FBI figured out a better marketing stratergy to figure out who the terrorists are.

  • Darehead

    Some of the Wonkerati provide pretty nice photoshops and parodies. That’s truly selfless and supports true American free speech.

  • ManchuCandidate

    I nominate Vicki Iseman.

  • Juan Valdez

    Somebody ban the old people from the internets.

  • wonk_the_heck

    if i can figure out how to play this right i can problably get my loud neighbors “disappeared”.

  • ElectricZen

    Who needs the Patriot Act when we are all filming our neighbors and sending the tapes to the government?

  • jfruh

    Man, in that clip that starts this thing, McCain is mumbling through his little blurb with dead and numb eyes. Never has the verb “inspire” been deployed so incongruously.

  • StupidGeek

    I nominate Hillary Clinton, for her selflessness in destroying the democratic party. And she’s from everywhere so technically, she’s a neighbor to all.

  • Tra

    “It promises to be an exciting convention, as my generic talking head on a black screen clearly shows.”

    “There will be balloons.”

  • DoctorCulturae

    Someone should create a parody of this effort. Is Mike Gravel doing anything these days?

  • Anita Cocktail

    I can’t believe y’all aren’t interested in exploring the comic potential of insincere entries. You disappoint me, peeps.

  • murality

    A cause greater than self interest? This is not going to shore up McCain’s support among conservatives at all.

  • floraway

    Man, I can’t wait until the first on camera argument between Davis and Axelrod. The general election is going to be FUN.

  • capitol-hillbilly

    i nominate my neighbor:

  • guerilla-nation

    maybe rick could submit a video of the selfless lobbyist who looked beyond his own interests to serve those of former dictators in ukraine and zimbabwe.

  • freakishlystrong

    Whhuuu? I think I want to quit smoking..

  • ManchuCandidate

    “My name is Joe Oblivious and I nominate my neighbor Larry Foley. Larry spends a lot of time volunteering with kids which is odd because he doesn’t have any of his own and is never seen with a woman. He’s also the leader of the local Boy Scout Troop and manages the local sports teams. My kids say he likes to play lots of games with the kids like Twister and run around in his underwear. Some might look at Larry’s devotion to the kids as odd, but he’s a good Christian man and Christians never do that sick stuff to kids unlike Mooslims and Atheists. Larry’s favorite saying from the bible is “little children come unto me.” That’s why I nominate Larry Foley as an American Hero.”

  • loudmouthredhead

    His shifty eyes frighten me to my core. *shudder*
    Is this McCain’s way of looking for a story for his campaign?

    Oh, and how EXACTLY will the convention be historic? Nominating the oldest white male for president? The craziest? The one voted “most likely to resemble a walnut”? The one most likely to die of old age in his first year? WHAT EXACTLY?

    [re=3902]FMA[/re]: I second that one. She’s not one of the “Girl’s Next Door” is she?

  • AudicityofHope

    I used to live next to the Obamas and they were the kindest neighbors I have ever had. Do you think WALNUTS! will accept footage of Obama’s speech at the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul?

  • user-of-owls

    [re=3933]Tra[/re]: Baboons?! Now that, my friends, would make for a seriously interesting convention.

  • GenghisConvict

    I live in downtown LA, a few blocks from skid row. technically, one of the find gentleman living in a tent on Alameda is my ‘neighbor’. should i go ahead and send in a video of ‘plastic-bag-shoes-Leroy’?

  • MoodProcessor

    I nominate West Virginia for its Cultural Transcendence, and ability to take a joke.

  • Mabalz Eshari

    It’s called “CNN Heroes”, douchebag. It’s already been done. I don’t need all the goobers at my country club running around in their golf carts with camcorders talking about how much money “Skip” raises for retards.

  • Johnny_Zhivago

    He wants to “inspire a generation of Americans to participate in a cause greater than they are?”

    Sounds like he wants to start WW-III.

  • Johnny_Zhivago

    Does the neighbor have to be human?

    I nominate our barn cat who raised our other barn cat’s kittens when she was sick.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    This year’s convention will be held at a Trojan bath house. Pedos philius.

  • johnbpt

    My closest neighbors on one side are goats, and on the other side some kind of mutant cattle, and all are selfless so far as I can tell. I’ll see what I can do, Rick.

  • gurukalehuru

    Seriously, I heard “I’m Rick Davis, and I like little boys.”

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    I’d like to nominate my neighbor, Blanca Vasquez Delgado. Blanca and her husband Estevan have eight children and they all manage to live in a one-bedroom apartment! The family’s close ties and belief in the Virgin Mary are what get them through the day. It isn’t easy for Blanca having to feed and clothe eight children solely on foodstamps and General Assistance. Also, Blanca doesn’t know a lick of English! She just smiles at me and I at her and in that, I know the Good Lord is at work…

  • striatic

    this post and the following comments are, frankly, shocking.

    someone is a bit awkward in front of the camera, proposes an idea that is friendly and might shine a light on people who don’t seek the light, and he’s mocked mercilessly for essentially being “uncool”?

    the tone is is condescending, arrogant, and exactly why the “uncool” people are turned off by the democratic party, even though that party often stands for their interests more than anyone else.

    it’s hard to vote for people who take pleasure in scoffing at you simply for being “gauche”.

    what is this, highschool?

  • rogerhq

    “someone” isnt anybody, striatic…
    GOP have ruled this country for eight years and now they want us to record our neighbours by camera…

    For their crimes their selected leaders have committed they should be prosecuted.
    For this kind of akward party promoting they should be killed by humor…

  • rogerhq

    Ok, my previous post continued…

    …killed by Good humor of course…

    Remember, McSame has to be defeated and U canĀ“t win votes my mocking him too hard…

  • Jen

    I vote for this guy.

    He could add SO MUCH to the convention:

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