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CAMPAIGN REPORTING DERANGEMENT SYNDROME: “I have come to loathe the campaign … I loathe the incessant blogging and commenting and talking and yapping and hype … This is an ugly porridge that has been placed before us, turned rancid since the cold, pristine days of Iowa only five months ago.” [Washington Post]
10:24 AM
on Tue June 3 2008
By
Sara K. Smith
48 Views
Wonkette
Problem is Dickey, is that your rancid porridge metaphor is the same way I feel about you.
The only thing I could think after reading that was, “Man, Clinton supporters are going to be pissed that they were called out on their made-up sexism charges…” I don’t feel sorry for reporters that actually have something to report…
Wherever I go — from glittering dinner party to glittering dinner party — the famous and powerful people I meet (for such is my life) tell me how lucky I am to be a journalist in this the greatest of all presidential contests.
When comfortable baby-boomer jackasses find themselves writing ledes like this, I just want to get all stabby on someone.
He writes all his columns from the Hamptons. Hasn’t done a lick of reporting in 30 or 40 years, and it shows.
Fear and loathing in Lost Paradise!
Bah, when someone hands you dilemmas, you make dilemmanade.
Once again Richard Cohen stands in front of the Big Picture — with what should be a clear perch — and bitches about the brushstrokes on a guy’s hat in the background. Christ on a biscuit, Mr. Cohen — do you notice a pattern in your observations? That both Hillary and Barack have come out rather worn and battle-scarred and McCrone — who has his own pastor problems, wishes to stay in Iraq for 100 years, and hopes to bomb a country I’m not sure he could find on a map, much less talk about eruditely — has gone through the wringer of — ahem — being accused of being born in Panama?!
For a moment near the beginning of your essay, Mr. Cohen, I thought I would find myself in the rather depressing position of agreeing with you — thank you for relieving me of that apprehension.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: I feel graced that Cohen “such as my life” even has the TIME to plagiarize HST.
Holy shit! Cold. pristine Iowa was only FIVE months ago? It’s like a science ficton movie, “The Day the Earth Stood Still”, it feels longer than a Friday afternoon, 3pm, at work, it’s been a hellish ETERNITY.
I bet Dick Cohen likes to teach people stuff at dinner parties.
why didn’t they make this pompous gasbag take the “buyout”? what a waste of trees …
To paraphrase a quote from Maurice, one of my favorite movies, “Oh, Richard, shut up.”
What is this guy’s major malfunction? He doesn’t seem to realize that Hillaryous’ death spiral saves the country from a possible four year term of what he bemoans. To wit:
“I loathe also what Hillary Clinton has done to herself. The incessant exaggerations, the cheap shots, the flights into hallucinatory history — that sniper fire in Bosnia, for instance — have turned her into a caricature of what her caricaturists long claimed she already was. In this campaign, Clinton has managed to come across as a hungry hack, a Janus looking both forward and backward and seeming to stand for nothing except winning. This, too, is sad.
Contrast and compare that with his near-identical thoughts on the Bush years:
“The current president, after all, has started two wars and completed none, and presides over a palette of debacles that encompasses everything from a crashing economy to a housing catastrophe to an immense loss of American prestige around the world (with the possible exception of those aforementioned indigenous Brazilians). It includes, of course, a lack of trust in an administration that weaseled and fibbed and exaggerated and Cheneyed the American people — but has (and so the GOP will remind us all) kept the nation safe from another attack. No small matter, it will turn out.”
And to top it all off, this fuckin’ liberal elitist glittery-party goer doesn’t like his porridge???
Doesn’t he realize that there’s two other bowls of porridge, and one of them is sure to be “just right?”
Five months is a long time. Way back then we were only paying $2.95 for a gallon of gas.
technically, i don’t think porridge can be ‘rancid’. i think it just gets all lumpy and hard and crusty.
but that’s good too.
References to porridge demonstrate one thing. That you are old. But, when you mention rancid porridge? It shows you are a bitter old fart, with a tenuous grasp on reality. Enjoy the rest of the trip to senility Mr. Cohen, and don’t worry, you won’t remember a thing!
SayItWithWookies: My sentiments exactly. Well said (with Wookies). Cohen is a pretentious wanker, who now and again says something worthwhile, only to undermine it immediately with his own private weltschmerz. He needs a healthy dose of perspecive in his cosseted existence - actually he needs it in the truck-nutz
I wish my employer would pay me to bitch about how burnt out I am.
Confession: every time I read a story about the Democratic primary, I get a little nauseous.
“…This is an ugly porridge that has been placed before us, turned rancid since the cold, pristine days of Iowa only five months ago…”
GEEZ LOUISE…is this a guy wholikes to hear himself talk? Gag me with a silver spoon. Yet another twisted self-absorbed AssPhatRepublocrat me thinks. Keep the system running at all costs so that we may preserve our position, influence, and power! Muhahahaha!
Botswana Meat Commission FC: I couldn’t get past that. I was like, “tool,” and moved on.
I’ll cut him a break. He clearly is from the era of moonpie porridge, meaning that it took several more generations after he was born for America to generate enough people who relish the dark side to truly make this campaign the soul draining exercise in egotism it has been.
Wait! A Yanomamo shot RFK???
There has to be a porridge/gruel/grueling joke here somewhere. I’m too burnt out from this rancid Cream-of-Wheat primary season to make the effort.
“This is an ugly porridge that has been placed before us, turned rancid since the cold, pristine days of Iowa only five months ago.”
Dick, Dick, ya gotta listen to what I say. You shoulda checked out the food before you moved into the nursing home.