In his best move as vice president since that time he shot an old man in the face with a shotgun, Dick Cheney joked about West Virginian hillbilly incest today at the National Press Club. And now everyone in West Virginia is pissed beyond belief at the vice president, whose long record of lookin’ out for the little man and his farm now comes into question.
Cheney was at the National Press Club to commend the winner of the Gerald R. Ford Journalism Prize for Distinguished Reporting on the Presidency, which was given to Wonkette for the 5th straight year (we sent several old interns to receive the prize, but they were all getting high on their college sex campuses.) Then a wiseacre reporter asked about that old, tired, eternally rehashed news bit from many months ago that Barack Obama is Dick Cheney’s eighth cousin — perhaps the one that liberated Auschwitz from the Communists?
The questioner jokingly asked the vice president if he and Obama were going to have a family reunion, to which Cheney replied he would “have no objections” though he said he doubted Obama would want one – “certainly not before November.”
Then came the offensive punch line. Cheney explained that during the course of researching his family lineage for Lynne’s memoir “Blue Skies, No Fences” last year, he learned there were Cheneys on both his father’s and his mother’s side of the family. There was a Richard Cheney on his mother’s side, the vice president said.
“So I had Cheneys on both sides of the family and we don’t even live in West Virginia,” Cheney quipped.
HEY-O!
West Virginia politicians aren’t laughing at Cheney’s little joke, including his fellow Republican, Rep. Shelley Moore Capito (R-W.Va.).
“This is exactly the type of stereotyping that we don’t need from our elected officials,” Capito tells the Sleuth. “It’s disrespectful, and it’s certainly not funny. The Vice President should know better than to make a remark like this one. We all work hard to further West Virginia’s good name, only to have comments like this tarnish it. As a proud state, I can say we are disappointed.”
Rep. Nick Rahall, a 16-term Democratic congressman from West Virginia, was equally as irate. “We may owe the vice president a debt of gratitude for yet another great West Virginia slogan: Dick Cheney is not from here,” Rahall told us.
But West Virginians are really upset that Dick Cheney didn’t take the question seriously enough. Is he related to Obama? Is he a hexadecaroon? ‘Cause West Virginnie’s had enough’a HOO-SSEIN alright!
UPDATE: Dick Cheney apologizes for the first time in his life (although it’s through a spokesman, and it’s fake):
Cheney spokeswoman Lea Anne McBride tells us, “The Vice President’s offhand comment was not meant to hurt anyone. On reflection, he concluded that it was an inappropriate attempt at humor that he should not have made. The Vice President apologizes to the people of West Virginia for the inappropriate remark.”
We may not be West Virginians, but the vice president’s smear against one of America’s greatest states offends us, too. Wonkette demands an apology. But knowing this administration, we’ll never see it.
Dick Cheney’s Incest Joke Irks West Virginian Lawmakers [WP/The Sleuth]
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Anyone who has ever been to Wyoming has no doubt most residents have pushed that incest line a time or two. Hell, you probably couldn’t get a date to prom if you didn’t at least seriously consider a cousin. There aren’t a lot of choices.
Somewhere amongst the bitters of WV …
“But Hill’ry sed we goan be repeckted”
Vice President Uncle-Daddy should eat hog-trough full of dicks.
Vice President Uncle-Daddy should eat a hog-trough full of dicks.
Haha, West Virigina, you voted for him.
Hey, least nobody was killed, which is what usually happens when Cheney turns his attention to you.
Dick Cheney, I have seen Jeff Foxworthy and you’re no Larry the Cable Guy!
[re=3429]johnbpt[/re]: Nobody was killed. Yet.
Most honest thing to come out of his trap, ever.
…see where he screwed up was assuming that W.Virginian inbreed! It is a well known fact that it is KENTUCKYIANS that inbreed and W.VIRGINIANS who are avid goat fukkers! They will forgive you this time but let it happen again Dick!
This is like when Polacks make jokes about Slovenians.
[re=3432]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I know. I was going to say, it would have been nice to see Dick Cheney tell the truth earlier.
To be fair to Dick, the joke was incest-neutral. Just because someone mentions incest does not automatically mean that person is passing judgment on incest.
Does this mean that Dick Cheney is also a Muslim? If so, I’m getting really confused.
I’m sure that Fox News will focus on this for the next three weeks they way they did Obama’s bitter remarks.
This has nothing to do with anything, but I have to vote again in a primary tomorrow, because the state of California is retarded.
If West Virginians aren’t offended by knowing that other people think they’re racists, I’m relieved to know that they get all indignant when they’re stereotyped as cousin fuckers.
Either way, Lynne Cheney’s book is starting to make a lot more sense: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sisters_%28Lynne_Cheney_novel%29
While I’m surprised he’d admit to it, this long history of family incest would explain a thing or two about both Dick and Lynne Cheney.
[re=3445]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Yes, Hillary, he’s a muslim just like his brother-daddy Barry.
Oh man the West Virginian blogosphere* is gonna be lit up with this one.
*or “blogoplane” if you’re in West Virginia
[re=3455]Son of Mark Penn[/re]: Is it possible to blog with tin cans and string?
WOW… I… I… actually agree with Dick Cheney on something: West Virginia’s Cousinfuckery. Barack Obama really can bring us all together! *sniffle!*
Holy shit. He apologized for it, too. Maybe he and Barry really ARE related!
http://blog.washingtonpost.com/sleuth/2008/06/dick_cheneys_incest_joke_irks.html
[re=3455]Son of Mark Penn[/re]: It can’t even be a plane if it’s only got one point. The word you were looking for was “blog”. Or perhaps “them new-fangled internets”.
[re=3455]Son of Mark Penn[/re]: West Virginian blogosphere… you mean that tree out back with all them fancy words a’carved onnit?
West Virginia would do well to remember that you can’t polish a turd. At the end of the day, no matter how many public relations campaigns you wage, the fact remains that you are still West Virginia and there are just certain opinions that are going to be held about you.
I thought kentucky was king of unclefuckery?
I am so excited to see what Hick Cheney pulls off in the next 6 months. I think he’ll pee on a 15-year-old.
[re=3464]Godless Liberal *[/re]: If people can refer to my city as GAY GAY oh my gawd SO GAY then yup, spot on.
There goes the rest of Cheney’s approval rating…
[re=3468]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I do not know which city is yours, but odds are that I have referred to it as just that.
No way Cheney is gonna get picked for McCain’s veep now!
Hell, everybody they don’t fuck their cousins in West Virginia. They fuck sheep. Something about their Scottish ancestry.
Gawd…Dick actually made me laugh. I feel dirty inside now.
[re=3468]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Oh, are you from San Francisco?
[re=3471]Godless Liberal *[/re]: Sunny SF, land of teh gays. At least we don’t screw our bloodline, though.
I used to live in West Virginia. All I can say is that the incest there tends to be less prevalent than the stereotypes claim. However, said incest tends to be intergenerational and recreationally-oriented, so really it comes out about even.
Now I live in LA, so pardon me while I go get legally high and marry another dude… (Just kidding, The last person on the west coast who believes in any kind of marriage will be dead by 2012.)
That West Virginia incest stuff isn’t true?
[re=3449]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: OMG I always forget how much I love Lynne Cheney! What a lesbo. Too bad she can’t write for shit.
Helen, my joy and my beloved,
Why do we stay? I have no reason beyond a few pupils who would miss me briefly, and your life would be infinitely better away from him. Let us go away together, away from the anger and imperatives of men. We shall find ourselves a secluded bower where they dare not venture. There will be only the two of us, and we shall linger through long afternoons of sweet retirement. In the evenings I shall read to you while you work your cross-stitch in the firelight. And then we shall go to bed, our bed, my dearest girl. . . .
[re=3478]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: The Giants suck.
[re=3464]Godless Liberal *[/re]: Especially if your PR campaigns include the phrase “HOO-sein. That don’t sit right with me.”
My home state will always be known for polygamy. So there’s that.
[re=3478]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Jesus Christ. That city is so gay I’m gay by association.
On the other hand, I’m glad you aren’t from WV. My cousin has really packed on the pounds lately, and I’d hate to have suddenly effed her just because I read something on the internets.
Were you to point out to a West Virginian that Cheney was referring to cousinfuckery, the West Virginian would say “Oh! Well, that’s OK then. We thought he was talking ’bout incest. Sorry we got so riled up.”
In WV, anyone not dropped from the same womb as yourself is fair game. Incest as a pejorative term is reserved for blood siblings and/or those immediately above and below yourself on the family tree.
[re=3485]tunamelt[/re]: Last year I would say something like “screw you you don’t know what you’re talking about asshole.” However, YA. THEY SURE DO.
At least we have a baseball team. I don’t know what WV even plays. I’m guessing it’s competitive spin the bottle, but only at family reunions.
[re=3487]ronaldpagan[/re]: Meh. Alabama here, so I don’t know what business I have talking shit on West By God Virginia.
[re=3480]RaptorAvatar[/re]: Yeah, whoo, Los Angeles!
[re=3491]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: It’s a natural reaction, to say Giants suck, to anyone from SF, regardless of whether or not they even like baseball. I actually can’t stop it.
Here’s West Virginia’s forbidden incest clause:
Incest is committed when any female person shall have sexual intercourse or sexual intrusion with her father, brother, son, grandson, grandfather, nephew or uncle.
“Sexual Intercourse” means any act between persons involving penetration, however slight, of the female sex organ by the male sex organ or involving contact between the sex organs of one person and the mouth or anus of another person.
The two Cheneys are probably better suited for Wyoming…
http://www.state.wv.us/WVSCA/jury/crim/incest.htm
@edydrifter- Hey I coined the phrase cousinfuckery(tm) Infact, I invented cousinfuckery!
[re=3472]Son of Mark Penn[/re]:
Isn’t that determined by wether or not Dick is in charge of the Veep search committee?
[re=3483]ronaldpagan[/re]:
How can you criticize that? All the best porn is written by Conservatives. They really know how to get their kink on.
Anyone remember the joke where a guy bets a bartender that he can piss into a cup on the bar from 20 feet away and it turns out that he bet the guys at the pool table that he could piss all over the bar and the bartender wouldn’t be mad? I think Cheney bet Bob Dole in 1998 than he can get an approval rating lower than Benedict Arnold and not be impeached.
I thought the joke was pretty funny.
Or maybe it was the “HEY-O!”
We should all have an Ed McMahon to punch up our punch lines.
[re=3496]blogfather[/re]: That’s sure to get you written up in the society pages.
PS: Afore anyone cracks wise on Oregon, we fuck trees. There, the secret is out.
Dick Cheney should collaborate with Jim Webb for his next book, “Why We Kiss Our Cousins”.
[re=3498]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: See any Jeff Gannon photo.
He’s never apologized for any of the other things he has done, but feels he must apologize gor this? Well…OK, sure. That makes sense, from a wingnutty perspective, I guess.
I just thought about it, and I do have family on both my mom’s side and my dad’s side with my last name.
So I am deeply offended by this, and if I ever see Dick Cheney, I am going to break my seven-toed foot off in his ass.
Ahh, beautiful West Virginia: Home of the MLUF* Hall of Fame!
*Major League Uncle Fuckers
It’s clear that Dick and Dubya don’t give a flying flip what anyone thinks of them anymore. I envy them their psychopathic freedom.
You’re telling me that my webbed hands and feet and crossed eyes have something to do with the fact that my dad and uncle are the same person?
[re=3456]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Great strides in blogging have come about since WV realized the existence of the MITS Altair a few years ago. It’s a magic blog box that you don’t need to worry about tripping over on the way to the outhouse – can’t say the same for that pesky string and tin can thing.
[re=3505]masterdebater[/re]: My thoughts as well. Given every sinister thing he had to do with Iraq, secret meetings with energy companies, declaring he’s not part of the Administrative branch of government and therefore above its laws, replying “So?” when asked about Americans considering Iraq a mistake, and what trips him up? Going all Jay Leno all over West Virginia’s ass (of course, Jay would’ve swung his arms wildly in an over-eager effort to really sell the joke).
A little off topic, but I absolutely LOVE that episode of Futurama where Fry goes back in time and accidentally becomes his own Grandfather, only to get back to the future and realize it has made zero difference whatsoever in the grand scheme of the universe. Classic Futurama.
[re=3461]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: He…wait…he… a..pol…o…gized?
We in the end time now.
Rep. Nick Rahall, a 16-term Democratic congressman from West Virginia, was equally as irate. “It may well be that 90% of the voters in my district are my cousins, but that doesn’t mean Mr. Cheney has the right to make fun of us.”
Almost heaven, West Virginia
strip mined mountains
run-off laden rivers…
[re=3422]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: People live in Wyoming?
Oh dear, I botched my screen name…
See, when he offends potential GOP ‘sporters, he pinches out an apology…as opposed to the Senate floor, where his “Go Fuck Yourself!” will never evoke contrition.
And the good news just keeps on rolling in for W.Va.: Senator Byrd is in the hospital with a fever.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/6/2/20454/46714/111/527730
Reckon you oughta be looking for a new undisclosed location right about now, Dick.
OMG the reply button finally showed up for me! Yayz!
[re=3503]AudicityofHope[/re]: That’s terrible
Dick’s joke is so funny that I’m thinking about forgiving him for all the fucked up shit he’s caused.
{thinking}
{thinking}
{hand on chin}
No, I don’t think so. He’s still a major league asshole.
Hey, West-by-God seceded from my state during the civil war. So they can only be so dumb.
[re=3495]Maj. Major Major Major[/re]: So does this mean that lesbian cousinfuckery is not incest under WV statute? That’s kinda odd.
[re=3535]loudmouthredhead[/re]: I just wanted to use the reply button. Thank you, Wonkette elders!
I’m guessing we can safely add the Cheneys as another clan in the list including Hatfield & McCoy? Wow!
We just made that gene pool 30% deeper!
Sigh, WV cousinfuckery(tm) and Dick Cheney. Two more reasons I’m insanely proud to be a white male. Brings a tear to my eye, it does.
At least cousin-sodomy is illegal.
Dick coulda quipped:
“So I had Cheneys on both sides of the family and we don’t even live in Orange County.”
Cuz, I never dun see so much in-breeding as I dun see in that teevee show, OC.
Shit, it looks like Robert Byrd caught cancer from Teddy. Or something. He’s in the hospital anyway.
The ultimate in incest! Cheney fucked himself!
So…this means WVa goes from a red state to a blue state, yes? I mean, justice and all..
Also, making jokes about WVirginians: bite me, it’s fun!
[re=3562]Godless Liberal *[/re]: WTF is up with all these old fuckers dropping lately? Bo Diddley, Yves St. Laurent, Ted is gone all cancery, now Byrd…
[re=3568]AxmxZ[/re]: [re=3562]Godless Liberal *[/re]: Byrd best not go down. This is upsurd (but it should be noted that he’s 90 years old and the longest seat holder in the Senate).
[re=3483]ronaldpagan[/re]: You know, I figured she couldn’t write for shit, BUT DAMN, that was horrific.
[re=3514]publius[/re]:
Not true. Because Fry did the “Nasty in the Pasty” his brain waves were different (similar to a dead weasle or an an animator), allowing him to defeat the Brain Spawn.
When will Dick Cheney throw himself under the bus?
[re=3568]AxmxZ[/re]: Don’t forget Bill Buckley. And Charlton Heston. Death swoops in and picks ‘em off whether they’re commie hippies or true red-blooded patriots. The fact that the rich have not yet figured out some way to gain immortality by having the poor die for them is one of the few satisfactions I have. Actually, I take that back — our current president has figured that out. Though it’s probably not the kind of immortality he had planned on.
[re=3568]AxmxZ[/re]:
Bo Diddley, the father of the pantsuit, Harvey Korman, and Sydney Pollack are all hanging out in a green room in the afterlife as we speak. What the hell would they talk about?
This is great news!!! FOR DICK CHENEY
Aw, shee-it! Uncle Dick wanted to make sure you-alls wuz listenin’! Then he was gonna tell you about his “sheepskin” from E Casper Community College.
If West Virginians want to be miffed at Dick’s insinuations of incestuous unclefuckery, perhaps they should stop fucking their uncles.
i thought it was incest and slavery that made america great … okay, maybe just the slavery
[re=3577]obfuscator[/re]: The election and whether or not Hillary is the Whore of Babylon. Sydney Pollack is pissed that he didn’t live long enough to make a movie about the clusterfuck that’s going on in the States.
(pss…Hey, baby! I saw you on Keith tonight; great job. I had never noticed that you had a dimple on your right cheek, btw.)
Alia Shawkat and Michael Cera already proved that incest is hawt. Nothing to worry about, WV.
[re=3583]AudicityofHope[/re]:
The dimple is my secret weapon. Only the most astute black female uncommitted super delegates notice that kind of thing.
Sydney would be kicking himself about not being able to make a movie about the Clinton campaign. It’d be fraught with psychological inner turmoil, palace intrigue within the high level staff, and a final steadicam scene featuring shrill screaming, a nervous breakdown, a Steuben Glass pitcher shattered in slow motion, and a tattered pantsuit.
John Edworts.
[re=3591]obfuscator[/re]: Perhaps Woody could make “A Delegate Situation” starring an ensemble cast of Robert Redford, Meryl Streep, Dustin Hoffman, Sydney Poitier, George Clooney, Denzel Washington, and Jude Law and dedicate it to Pollack. But Woody has to promise not to put Scarlett Johansson ANYWHERE in the film.
[re=3573]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Okay, minor factual details, but it didn’t really alter anything else, and he was essentially still the same person, despite doing the nasty with his own grandmother before she met his grandfather and still turning out to be himself.
At any rate, I just thought it was mildly relevant considering the incestuous discussions here! Still a good episode, and I’m glad someone else saw it
[re=3593]AudicityofHope[/re]:
A brilliant concept. You should pitch it to the Weinsteins. Wait, they’re Hillzarians. Scratch that.
Could Meryl Streep play Geraldine Ferraro? Stephanie Tubbs-Jones?
Sydney Poitier as newly announced Barry supporter James Clyburn.
Dustin Hoffman as David Axelrod.
We’re making movie magic here, people!
[re=3597]obfuscator[/re]: I don’t think any black actress could do Tubbs justice. Meryl Streep, I like as Femi-nazi-Ferraro (and she’d have to drive a Ferrari).
But who the hell is going to play America’s favorite fighter, Hellaballs Clinton? And I’m not totally convinced that Denzel is the right man to play Barry. Only Barack’s ass can do his own ass justice.
Many of Clinton’s campaign staffers will be out of jobs anyway, so they can just play themselves. Which reminds me. I hope everyone saw Countdown tonight especially the last 10 minutes. If you didn’t, here’s the link to the video: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036677/#24939498
[re=3577]obfuscator[/re]: Don’t forget the guy that composed and whistled the Andy Griffin theme (and wrote Harlem Nocturne). It’s been an interesting Dead List the last week.
[re=3590]My old Gawker login was byproxy[/re]: Michael Cera is the single luckiest actor of his generation.
[re=3595]publius[/re]: Watching Futurama as we speak on Comedy Central. “Roswell that Ends Well” is one of the top three episodes of Futurama (I believe it even won the Emmy that year). I love President Truman’s interaction with Zoidberg:
Truman: If you’re here to make peace, surrender or be destroyed. If you’re here to make war, we surrender.
Dr. Zoidberg: Both good. The important thing is I’m meeting new people.
Truman: Bushwah! Now what’s your mission? Are you planning to make some kind of alien-human hybrid?
Zoidberg: Are you coming onto me?
Truman: Hot crackers, I take exception to that!
Zoidberg: (sexfully) I’m not hearing a no.
In fact, using Lionel Hutz as my alias started on a Futurama board, back when the original episodes were airing.
Boy, I’m old.
[re=3598]AudicityofHope[/re]:
Tyler Perry as Stephanie Tubbs-Jones. Also, Phillip Seymour Hoffman drops a few pounds, plays Howard Wolfson.
[re=3602]obfuscator[/re]: Let’s see…what about Terry McAuliffe? What actor can scream every line like a prepubescent boy who’s having his balls twisted into a balloon animal?
[re=3425]bitchincamaro[/re]:
“Vice President Uncle-Daddy should eat hog-trough full of dicks.”
Ain’t it sad what/who you hafta do to be Vice President of 49.8% of the United States? Can’t blame him for chokin’ back tears. He’s chokin’ on the awesomocity of the task.
[re=3600]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I always love how Zoidberg really just wants to feel like he’s A) needed, B) acting normal, or C) actually doing something right. Or all of the above. Like seeing an infomercial for a magazine subscription, ordering 12 of them, and congratulating himself for finally becoming a crafty consumer.
[re=3607]AudicityofHope[/re]: [re=3597]obfuscator[/re]: For some odd reason, I see Whoopi Goldberg as Tubbs-Jones. (I know she doesn’t look like her..I mean for attitude).. Joan Allen could play Cindy McCain in a sideline footage bit part.
[re=3609]villageatrois[/re]:
VP was one god-awful thankless task. Then, along came Darth Cheney and made it the most powerful second-fiddle in-the-whole-world-task and HE managed to boot tons of cash to himself and his pals in the death and oil industries and you and I will pay and pay and pay for many days to come. But there is a chance, slim though it may be, that the bill will be kept minimal by a new white house world order not shot through with arrongance, greed, bloodthirstiness, hubris, and, deception, not heretofore seen by…… well, hmmm, by, a few people, I guess. Shit.
[re=3602]obfuscator[/re]: Who would you like to play you, baby? Sadly, the only guy that’s comin’ to mind is Paul Giamatti. I’m sure you can come up with someone better.
Queen Latifah can do the honor of playing me.
[re=3610]publius[/re]: My all-time favorite Futurama episode is the one featuring the Slurm Factory.. (Just thought I’d get that out there).
Jim Newell: I just tried to go the Paultard article on this page and got “Error 404 – Not Found.”
Anyway, back to topic, Lynne Cheney’s “Blue Skies, No Fences” aptly subtitled, ‘Because the Nigger We Shot Done Broke Through It, Now We Gotta Pay to Get A New One’, really does encapsulate white life in the 50′s! Great job, Lynne!
[re=3611]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Who do you think would make the best Chuck Todd? All I can come up with is Paul Giamatti, but I’m sure you can come up with someone better.
Queen Latifah can have the honor of playing me.
[re=3618]Darehead[/re]: Yeah I decided to take it down because he is like 12 years old. Funny… but 12. Aren’t I a nice guy? Here’s the video if you want to see it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxSc8rogefA
[re=3618]Darehead[/re]: I noticed that myself, it’s mysteriously vanished..
[re=3577]obfuscator[/re]: Duh – sex.
He should have said Arkansas, instead. But it really is the same joke, as HRC won both states.
[re=3496]blogfather[/re]: Hey! What gives? [re=3459]Are you calling me a phrase-coin thief?[/re] I hereby challenge you to a Fuckin’ Cousinfuckery Fuckoff™®©!! (All Rights Reserved. Not Valid In 49 States. Actual Cousins Will Not Be Fucked. Possession Of More Than 8 Naturally-Grown Teeth Is Cause For Disqualification.)
[re=3615]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Indeed, definitely a winner there. That bit at the beginning with the x-ray flashlight they were using to find the winning can when Bender points it at Fry’s crotch:
“Ow, my sperm!”
And then at the Slurm factory Fry can’t stop drinking it even after he sees how it’s made…
[re=3615]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]:
Now that all posters seems to have new avatars, don’t you miss being able to decipher them?
This neo-wonkette transition driving the camaro nutzo, yo.
[re=3621]Jim Newell[/re]: That was kind of you.. really. It’s nice to know someone that young is influenced so passionately by politics. No more Ghyslains..
[re=3621]Jim Newell[/re]: Well at least the kid isn’t a complete idiot like the majority of millenials. But why did he have to film that in front of all of those taxidermied deer heads? Oh yeah. He wants everyone to know that his right, as layed out in the 2nd Ammendment, protects him from being tazed for killing animals. “It’s my fucking civil liberty to protect myself from those globalist deer!”
[re=3625]Tits_LaRue[/re]:
Tits Ruuuules, ahahahahahha, berrrp.
[re=3630]AudicityofHope[/re]: Correction: …*laid* out…
[re=3628]bitchincamaro[/re]: Yeah mine looks like a black square with strategically placed ants around it..
I signed up to the new Wonkette to say that Cheney would make the best teevee pundit ever.
That, and short-shorts is an embarrassment to the Korean race, with his retarded knee-jerk clawing for friends by being anti-Paultard.
Can someone tell me why HTML code isn’t working anymore?
[re=3633]AudicityofHope[/re]: I think you were correct the first time, unless you were insinuating the right to bear arms somehow involves fucking. Bears.
[re=3631]bitchincamaro[/re]: I think bitchincamaro ran over his neighbor.. of beers, 15 of them or so.
[re=3495]Maj. Major Major Major[/re]:
Major research and mucho respeck.
[re=3639]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]:
Ran over Johnny. Walker. Many times. Fucking Red Wings lost, and Hilz still breathes. Loves me some pity.
Jim, good call about taking off the 12-year-old Libertarian. (I’m still glad he can’t vote though.)
Hopefully Cheney is a hemophiliac. But that would involve having human blood running through his veins, which I doubt.
“Hey West Virgina! Is you is or is you ain’t my constituency?”
[re=3602]obfuscator[/re]: Queen Latifah can play me. How about Paul Giamatti as “Numbers Master, Chuck Todd”? Although, I think we can come up with a better looking actor; right now, he’s the only one who’s got the red facial hair going.
[re=3643]bitchincamaro[/re]: So sorry.. I’m a Flyers fan and wanna see Detroit win, fuck Pittsburgh..
he might not be from west virginia, but he by god knows a thing or two about bein’ stump broke
[re=3635]InfoEntity[/re]:Hey welcome back Tony, please eat a dick.
[re=3564]Kingbee[/re]: Would the self-child be a one-eighth scale sheep from WV? Mini-Dick! It won’t get weird.
[re=3643]bitchincamaro[/re]: “Fucking Red Wings lost, and Hilz still breathes.”
She only gives half a life in Michiganistan. Not enough to grope Mr. Stanley’s cup.
[re=3654]dilhavarti[/re]: No it’ll get weird. It was a babyman screwing a manbaby.. Mittelos Bioscience can fill you in on that with their stupid invention, the ‘time/earth moving’ wheel which is so plausible.
Do people from West Virginia not understand that they are the butt of the incest jokes? Perhaps a side effect of all that inbreeding is a lack of a sense of humor. And to correct the record, it is Oklahoma where the men are men, and the sheep are scared. It is here in Los Angeles, where we all just want to (and do) fuck ourselves.
I don’t know if this video is relevant or not to this thread, but it’s fuckin’ hilarious and I felt the need to share it with you, my friends.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=z7sLFhTVMyE
[re=3630]AudicityofHope[/re]: [re=3621]Jim Newell[/re]: Ok, I’ll support ya on that one. I just wanted to mention that the kid has a website with zillions of other vids too.
http://www.hongfire.com/forum/vBTube.php?do=user&uname=NsaneSk8er007
Incidentally, there’s a damned good article…
http://www.democraticunderground.com/plaidder/04/37.html
on Lynn Cheney’s purportedly lesbo novel, revealing it to be more about class than sex. Really the best piece I’ve read about Mrs. Angler’s little literary indiscretion. As for San Francisco, I am proud of my dead gay city (to paraphrase that line in Heathers.
[re=3598]AudicityofHope[/re]:
Kathy freakin’ Bates + Cheap wig + Banana Yellow P*ntsuit.
Think she could bring the crazy monomania as “Hellaballs Clinton?”
I’d pay. (to see the movie, of course)
[re=3648]WIDTAP[/re]: Cheney is definitely getting run out of West Virginia on a rail.
You know, if WV’ians really wanted to impress the world with how astute they are, and put an end to the centuries-long jokes about fucking anything at hand, it might have helped had their powers that be responded to Cheney with a little something like this:
“Vice President Cheney might have thought it amusing to poke a little fun at our expense. We are not amused. However, for our own amusement, we’ve done a little investigating and, having done so, our state legislature has unanimously passed the following 12 articles of impeachment against Mr. Cheney. Article One: Mass Murder and War Crimes; Article Two: Theft from the public purse; Article Three: Failure to protect these great United States; Article Four: [etc., etc.]
“We’ve also been in contact with every other state legislature, and found they are also willing to pass similar Articles of Impeachment. We trust that Mr. Cheney, possessed as he is of so complex an intellect, will revel in the irony of being brought down by a bunch of people he considers to e inbred yokels. Have a nice day, Mr. Cheney.”
Suddenly, West Virginia would have a completely new profile. “Hey, West Virginia… isn’t that the state that started the process that led to the imprisonment of all them Bush criminals? Damn, let’s go there on our next vacation.”
[re=3621]Jim Newell[/re]:
Jim, you’ve got a soft heart and one understands that 12 year olds probably shouldn’t be Wonketted. However, 12 year olds who post YouTube dissertations might learn something about the political process, and their part in it, when confronted with the results of their decision. Isn’t Ron Paul all about personal responsibility? [Particularly since there'll be no government left to do a dogdamned thing for the citizens?] You’ve denied this kid a realpolitik civics lesson. What did Stevie W. say? “When you believe in things you don’t understand……”
against one of America’s greatest states
Eh, maybe top 50. But barely.
I’m from Georgia, and I never dated my cousin. I mean, I fucked her, but I never took her anywhere.
– Blake Clark
[re=3677]Canuckledragger[/re]: I’d be inclined to agree with you on the 12-year-old thing, if not for the American litigiousness thing. Furthermore I would like to mention that the kid, as I pointed out above, has his own web page of stuff, on which appears not only a dozen or so AlexJones ripoffs but also (horrors) a porn vid.
BTW [re=3677]Canuckledragger[/re]: What is your avatar now?
[re=3683]Darehead[/re]:
It’s a roadsign pointing toward what should be Canada’s most famous town: “Dildo.” If’n you increase the size of your page on your browser [mine's on the bottom right of my broswer frame] you can see it in all its stupid glory.
I tried uploading the distinctive pot flag avatar of old, but it didn’t work.
Then again, I am an idiot. So, there’s that.
[re=3695]Canuckledragger[/re]: Oh, darn, sorry it’s so puny cuz I’d really like to see that thing. I hope you get engorg**– I mean, enlarged, soon.
Instead of apologizing, he should have simply said:
“I’d tell you to go fuck yourselves, but I assume you already are.”
This is so unlike Cheney. When he shot the old lawyer, Cheney got him to appologise. When will West Virigina step up and do the same?
Cheney’s at least a dodecamaroon – or an iscosamoran in pantaloons.
oh no, icasamoran Where’s my editor when I need him?
[re=3635]InfoEntity[/re]: Hi Tony! Fuck you!
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