Wonkette
Every four years, Europeans get mad at Americans because only stupid ignorant U.S. citizens get to elect their president (who is always George W. Bush). So this year our friends overseas were delighted to participate in a meaningless poll conducted by the Telegraph, which showed conclusively that your average bewhiskered European hausfrau is just as hot for Barack Obama as millions of recently graduated American college seniors. But who digs Obama the most? The answer may shock you!
It’s Italy, where 70 percent of poll respondents heart the son of a Luo tribesman. Meanwhile, John McCain does best in Russia, where a whole 24 percent of respondents would like to see his sun-spotted ass in the White House.
Other nations surveyed include Great Britain, France, and Germany, where 40 percent of respondents voted for dark-horse candidate Shia LaBeouf because of his “vaguely Hasselhoffian aspect.”
Barack Obama beats John McCain in European vote: US election 2008 [Telegraph]
This only proves Barry is a Tarryist.
“Your average bewhiskered European hausfrau…”
Stop trying to get me hot, Wonkette… I’m at work.
Damn, Obama’s leading in Italy? That’s basically the most racist, crypto-fascist, right-wing country in all of Europe. You’d think they’d be for one of their own - Giuliani (and not because he’s Italian).
Obviously this has been Europe’s plan all along. Folks in the UK want to get Obama into power so that he can unsign the declaration of independence and return us to colony status. He’s some kind of Manchsterian Candidate.
Wait… is this Old Europe or New Europe we’re talking about, here? …because I’m pretty sure New Europe wants Don Rumsfeld for president.
jagorev: …yeah Italian hate everyone!
In any election, their own or someone else’s, Russians vote for one or both of only two reasons: out of spite or for shits and giggles. So it’s no wonder McCain did well with them.
GAWD and all this time I thought Paultard would come through with a bullet. I must be official, nobody likes Paultard.
…what were McCains numbers in Transylvania?
@AngryBlakGuy: I mean, it’s still common to refer to Africans as monkeys in Italy, yet somehow they manage to be more enlightened than West Virginia.
jagorev: Yeah, those lousy Eye-talians, with their national pension system and socialized medicine and government-owned airline (which blows, but still…)–they sure are right-wing. Not even Berlusconi proposes changing any of that stuff.
Are we surprised that the Italians want the attractive candidate?
jagorev: Italians are kinda racist, though–gotta give you that. But the wines are great!
@Black Cat Yeah, kind of surprised, given the whole Berlusconi thing. Every woman adores a fascist.
The Russians want McCain because they vaguely remember that things were a helluva lot better under the Soviets, and they want the Cold War to resume.
i believe this puts him back ahead in the ‘popular vote’ …
I, a recently graduated college senior, am moderately surprised to have something in common with the Italians, besides a love of naps.
I spy with my little eye the conspicuous omission of Hillary in the Telegraph article. Another sign that the Brits are a damn sight smarter than us.
V572625694: Even for all that, though… how many years was Toni Negri in prison? Italy’s an interesting kind of mixed bag.
jagorev: the are incapable of voting for someone with as little fashion sense as Hillary or McCain, so that leaves Hopey, the Stylin’ Candidate(TM).
capitol-hillbilly: no, because under the patented HillaryMath, every Italian vote subtracts two American ones, and caucus states don’t count, and MI and Fl votes count x 2, so she is actually ahead in the popular vote by 50 billion x Infinity.
gjdodger: Your avitar both frightens and disturbs me
Love,
Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
Doglessliberal: sigh. My first with the new “reply” function on Teh New Wonkette and I have a typo. THEY are incapable….
jagorev: …yep! They have one of the(if not the) lowest birth rates in Europe/world but they still hate immigrants. On top of that they recently elected a rabid racist, who has sworn to deport every immigrant back to their home countries. Once their economy(which is heavily dependent on cheap labor) crashes and burns it will serve as an example to the right-wingers in this country.
This only proves that an Obama presidency would open the doors to European-style prosperity, enlightenment, and snooty attitudes.
Well, McCain and Obama are both foreigners, so it makes sense that other foreigners can vote for them too.
The Italians are also FAR too stylish to root for ANYthing in a pantsuit…Plus, Barry knows what Arugula and Chablis are!
Serolf Divad: Don’t know about that…the demographics in some of the less swarthy bits of New Europe (cough..Poland..cough) would seem to favor another candidate: white, doughy, bitter and xenophobic.
jagorev: surprisngly, if you want to go with most “racist” european country, you might actually have to go with switzerland. here’s their most popular political party: http://www.swissinfo.org/eng/front/detail/People_s_Party_accused_of_racist_campaign.html?siteSect=105&sid=8156064&cKey=1188502954000&ty=st
note the cute image of the sheep.
@Godless Liberal: the 6 weeks of vacation and 35-hour workweeks and retirement with full pension at 50 would be horrible, too.
mmm… bewhiskered Italian women…
Doglessliberal: Seriously, it makes the Sharia law he was going to enforce back when he was still Muslim seem positively progressive in comparison.
When they take away the right to vote from non-American citizens, then only American citizens will have the right to vote!
Oh, wait…
Well, maybe Barry’s popularity with Jacques Bonhomme will mean they’ll send more than two soldiers with clap and an automatic potato-peeler to the next war party we throw.
Doglessliberal: thanks for clearing that up. on a related note i have always wondered, why do you deprive yourself of a dog?
@Godless Libs Ahh, if only teh Mooslems could read my thoughts, I’d be in megatrouble, ’cause ‘Sharia law’ always reminds me of “SHAAAAAAARIIIAAAAAA, Baby, Won’t you come out, tonight?” And there’d be nothing left but the stoning. But I would not feel so all alone if everybody would get stoned.
…gave him 52 per cent support across five of the world’s richest nations…
Elitist!
Way to go Wonkette, dudes and dudettes! I can see the site again! Free at last to post from work again!
capitol-hillbilly: there is only so much pleasure one can allow oneself in a lifetime. A wonderful husband, a large cat, and a great job really exhaust my allotment.
TGY: for me, sharia always conjures up the Clash’s Rock the Casbah.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAkfHShATKY
yes, but how did he do in Liechtenstein?
@gjdodger:
I have to admit, it was fun playing cat and mouse with them in the South China Sea.
Nothing screams Italy like a thin black man.
capitol-hillbilly:
Dog is Dead. (since the 1960s)
@TGY: How do you solve a problem like Sharia?
Sharia, I just met a law named Sharia…
Take a bitter, Sharia, caress it like my wife…
You know who else was popular in Europe? Tuser-of-owls: “white, doughy, bitter and xenophobic”? Is that a reference to McCain or Clinton? I can’t tell the difference!
Mussolini made the trains run on time. Bring back Mussolini !
Well, actually, he forgot Poland.
jagorev: (C) All of the Above. The pasty duo would be the Polish dream ticket save for the fact that many of my Pole forebears were on the other side of the barbed wire than McCain was during their respective times in the camps.
But why won’t he wear an EU flag pin on his lapel?
user-of-owls: Poland’s the bitter church-clingers of Europe, eh? Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Remember when Bill Clinton was crazy popular in France? That seems like a lifetime ago.
“…our friends overseas…”: Ahahahahahahahaha. Wonkettee, you jest. Ahahahahahahaha.
Just watch this youtube clip:
http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2008/06/01/young-hillary-clinton/