Wonkette
According to dubious innernut posts and the reliable Politico columnist Ben Smith, Team Hillary will be sort of assembling in New York or wherever she lives, on Tuesday, to say goodnight to the operation. In other words, BIG WIN IN PUERTO RICO. Meanwhile, the Clintons attack, er, Vanity Fair, the magazine. [Ben Smith/Politico]
The end is near?!?
Can we bring out the beer?
I heard that she wasn’t going to be in NY on Tuesday, but in some big general election swing state. Don’t get out your beer just yet, honey.
Seventeen years from now they will find a Hillary supporter in the wilds of Long Island, not knowing that the nomination race is over. She will be described as awake, alert, and carrying an empty Target basket.
This is SO not gonna happen. Hillary is not folding on Tuesday to some goddamn inadequate black male. She’s not folding until he gets 2118 delegates. If then. But…I am going to throw a party Tuesday, just in case.
We should all get our stars back on Tuesday.
I guess either way we’ll feel like drinking. Except for Audi who is too young.
Then I think Hillary will form a gated commune for Hilltard supporters with weird apocalyptic cars. Expect the website coming soon for…Carville! Sorry, it’s been a long primary.
@SIWW: She will have formed a bond with the basket, making it speak with its handles… “Popular Vote!” and “Most Electable!” are the most intelligible of its phrases..
@ Darehead: I would love to go to Hillville, where I would be the most fuckable person around.
Unfortunately this rumor is going to eat at me and make me sad when it doesn’t materialize, just like that rumor where Carter and Gore were gonna step in and end this thing forever. Instead Carter just buddied up with Hamas while Gore just cried into a pint of Ben and Jerry’s every time someone mentioned the popular vote.
@SayItWithWookies: Funny image there, you ain’t the reigning diamond diva for nuttin’. There may be hundreds of these ladies actually, officially called Hillary Holdouts:
Now forgive me for going all schoolmarmy but here’s a reference page for those of you too young to know how real this was. Since I’m older than McCain in dog years, I remember it all…
http://www.wanpela.com/holdouts/registry.html
I was just reading about Yves Saint Laurent, and evidently he invented women’s pantsuits back in the 60s. If Eight Belles wasn’t enough, surely the death of the man who created pantsuits should be read as a sign of the end of his campaign.
@Darehead: The day that Hillary goes away will be a day for celebratory drinking. Bailey’s in the morning cup of joe, and then margaritas and hurricanes from noon on. I’d invite a few guests to play “Charades”, “What Metric Will She Come Up With Next?”, “Pin the Tail on the DNC Wonkey Donkey”, and then end the festivities with a good whack at a life size Hillary pinata. Oh, and I’ll need to find a bakery that can make me a cake to look like my Barry avatar.
@AudicityofHope: And we’ll all have chicken and dumplings when she goes! And wear yellow or blue pantsuits!
@ TJBeck:
U. Utah Phillips died a week ago, so that’s bad news for Mike Gravel.
What about a party where we all wear pantsuits and scarves, drink boilermakers, and scream total nonsense?
@Darehead: I love you even more for your chicken and dumplins’ reference. I’ll be glad to fix it; I’ve got one mean family recipe. Damnit, now you’ve got me salivating.
“his campaign” should have been “this campaign”. unfortunate typo there
@AudacityofBrazile: Fuck those stars, we should hold out for Whore Diamonds.
ALthough, I’m really only speaking for myself, since I didn’t have a star(yet) back on Gawker Island. I’ve got my fingers crossed for a Diamond someday, tho!
@ronaldpagan: I’d be down with that, but I’d have to bring an extra pair of comfortable clothes to change into. Pantsuits are not supposed to be worn longer than 4 hours straight. I guarantee you the fainters at Obama rallies were wearing some kind of polyester/wool/nylon/asbestos blend fabric. Obama knows better than most the benefits of cotton.
Okie doke, Times does have some good pics of Barry n’ the Corn: And the rest of the final battle scenes.
http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2008/06/01/us/politics/0602-CAMPAIGN_12.html
@AudicityofHope: In all fairness, she thinks NY is a swing state because she won there. As NY goes, so goes the nation.
I just can’t wait* for when one or more of Hillary’s post-menopausal, racist, old, white supporters makes a YouTube montage of clips from the campaign that has “I Will Remember You” playing in the background.
* = really means “can wait”
Fuck. Yes.
@loquaciousmusic: YouTube montage clips –
“Don’t cry for me, West Virginia….”
@ loquaciousmusic: I literally can’t wait, and I mean just that.
You’re once, twice, three times a lady…
I will watch ALL those clips and cry gigantic tears of laughter.
I trust her campaign will pay Swedish popular music combo Europe any monies they may be due for use of ‘The Final Countdown.’
@SayItWithWookies: sporting Mom jeans and frosted hair.
YSL, the pantsuit overlord, kicked the bucket yesterday. HRC, take the hint, pleeze.
At least Ted Kennedy’s getting the tumor cut out of him. The Democratic Party could use some of that scalpel discipline.
Insider info: The piece on Bill Clinton was going to run in VF this fall. It was finished in July and, when he heard about it, Clinton came to the VF office to ask them not to run it. They agreed not to run it if Clinton would appear on the cover of GQ, which if of course owned by the same company, Conde Nast. Then VF decided to run the article anyway because 2008 is basically the end of the Clintons anyway so who cares if CN pisses them off.
PS Todd Purdum is like one of the best political writers ever.
I’m more apt to believe that she’s going to have Manhattan secede from the union, declare itself “The United States of America” and install herself as it’s President.
Finally. Now let’s get back on Air Fuck One and party like it’s 1999.
…remember to burn and dismember the body otherwise her campaign might come back to life when you least expect, just like the movies!!!
@AngryBlakGuy
Exactly. I do think that if the Dems stop putting up with her shite, she’ll run some kind of third-party mom jeans campaign. Cameltoe of the world, unite!
Here’s a nice bit from today’s NYT article:
“Most Clinton supporters are filled with bewilderment that this is happening,” said Governor Edward Rendell of Pennsylvania. “We are willing to go on, and we understand the inevitability of this, but we are filled with disappointment and amazement: Why haven’t these results caused the superdelegates to come around?”
Why? Because your candidate FUCKING SUCKS, that’s why.
@Darehead: Chicken n’ dumplins??? MY FAVORITE.
This is all I that could Hope(TM) for….and with the loss of YSL (rest his soul) the p*ntsuit collection is finitized….Huzzah!
@Turnstiles - Clintonista - “Good enough for your mom, good enough for the globe.” May, or may not be sweatshop friendly.
Jesus Christ on a Motorcycle! That Clinton memo to VF et al. was the most long-winded piece of whining claptrap I’ve seen in, oh, minutes. I want the past five minutes of my life back after reading it. Or, failing that, another cup of coffee.
Mmmm, I’ll believe it when I see it.
loquaciousmusic:
Fast Eddie’s not stupid; he knows exactly what Hillz problems are. I’m sure his comments are made out of loyalty to the Clintons. When the time comes to get her out of the race, I’m sure he’ll do his part.
Sweet, the commenter sign up isn’t redirecting to a picture of Perez Hilton’s fancy ass anymore. If Hillz actually drops out tomorrow, it’ll be the best 48 hours of my life!
All the soundbites I have heard since she won PR have been that she has “won the popular vote” and has a mandate, therefore(The quotes neglect to mention that that total does not include caucus states and does include MI and FL, but those are just misogynist Obama-created “facts” that seek to undermine her right to the throne) and that she is going to forge onward to challenge the decision to split the MI and FL delegates. I will not believe she has ended this until they are prying the pantsuit from her cold, dead fingers.
Hillary, as a really sore loser myself, you will always be a winner in my book!
@TJ Beck: I think Yves St. Laurent died BECAUSE she wears pantsuits, and he was humiliated and mortified to be associated with what she had done to his vision.
I’m making a note here - huge success!
Maybe if she had painted her face up like that more often, she would have won. She looks like a trollop with all of that makeup on.
I don’t think Hills will suspend her activities soon. They have to maintain the narrative. The retreat to NY is likely an effort to re-arm or refocus the Army of Bitters. The Clintbots never stop the campaign.
Purdum’sVF article is careful not to name misdeeds, but does provide a broad outline for those interested in further research. It’s very sad.
Though the fires of her campaign will be banked by mounds of earth, they’ll remain hot and roiling under the surface of the covering humus (not hummus, that’s different), ready to spring forth at the very whiff of political advancement. Generations of her loyal supporters will fan the flames of fortitude, forever fighting for fortune’s feats. (NB: I had a hard time keeping the word ‘flatulent’ and other words that begin with ‘f’ out of the preceding line: oh, the agonies of poetry!)
@loquaciousmusic: So she gets a big win in Puerto Rico (my birthplace), and it doesn’t occur to the Clinton campaign that Puerto Rico means NOTHING for the presidential race? Was it Marx who said that history repeats itself — first as tragedy, then as comedy? That sure describes the Clintonian presidential legacy.
@tgy: I rather like “fortune’s flatulent feats.” Maybe the next draft? More personal, onomatopoetic.
What else would one do after a big night in Puerto Rico?
I’m going back to Manhattan,
Smoke on your pipe and put that in!
No chance. She’s going to Thelma and Louise this sumbitch.
if we don’t attack them in vanity fair, they’ll attack us here.
or something.
Hillary quit? While it’s still June, and Barry could be dead at any moment? That just doesn’t make sense.