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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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72 comments

  1. loquaciousmusic

    I used to think that being gay was genetically, not environmentally, determined.

    Now that this video has turned me gay, I’m not so sure.

  2. Patty Dumpling

    What the fuck. That video makes “It’s Raining McCain” look like “Thriller”.

  3. RonaldReagansHair

    I guess we have to acknowledge that her “broad” coalition has officially expanded to include not just old, bitter white ladies and angry lesbians, but also drum major queens that can’t dance.

  4. NoWireHangers

    HOLY. FUCK.

    You thought that your high school drama teacher had for sure hung up his dreams of stardom when he started directing community theater performances of “Our Town.” But then Hillary decided to run for President and he FINALLY had an outlet for all that pent-up talent.

    The budget for this video is more than what Hillz has in cash on hand.

  5. Darehead

    Instead of getting their flash of inspiration from a lightbulb in the bubble, they cast their eyes down a dirty gutter. That was the best part.

  6. Bitter-Elitist

    Is it just me, or does that guy at the very end (about 4:59) have a really creepy voice?

  7. RonaldReagansHair

    You know, it’s really kind of catchy when you listen to it more than once. Someone with more talent than me needs to work on new lyrics, though.

  8. Doglessliberal

    @NotUrEvryDayWEzl: OK, that just made me laugh loud enough for others in my office to notice.

  9. termite

    “We don’t need no bling”

    Is that some sort of racist reference to black people?

  10. Advocatus_Diaboli

    I’m pretty sure this is phenomenal performance art. I base this on the fact that the lead fag strikingly resembles a young George Stephanopolus.

  11. grobby22

    Sing people, sing your little hearts out! Hilary is defintely partying with you tonight!

  12. Uncle Al

    High school auditorium, somewhere in Oklahoma or Kansas, future theater majors who think this will get them their big break….
    Am I close?

  13. paolaccio

    @loquaciousmusic: I used to be bisexual, but this video has turned me Methodist…

  14. RonaldReagansHair

    You know, they cover it up with a lot of balloons and confetti, but there are actually only about 15 people in the entire video. That might make me feel sorry for her again if she were not such a soul-sucking monster.

  15. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    So, this gets two whore diamonds, but Godless Liberal has to give him/herself his/her own whore diamond.

    I call shenanigans!

  16. Tits_LaRue

    Two whore diamonds? You’re trying to fool me, these are obviously CUBIC ZIRCONIA! I mean, you saw the dog wearing sunglasses, right?

  17. AngryBlakGuy

    …I guess this is what happens when you start paying your campaign workers with hits of homemade low-grade METH!

  18. still eggplantparm

    Words. Fail.

    @termite: Why, yes, yes it is. No, wait, the makers of this “video” are sorry if anyone was offended by the bling comment.

    THAT’S NOT RACIAL TRANSCENDENCE!

  19. AngryBlakGuy

    …1st why is it when he says “Bling” they have to show a black person(1:57), 2nd take this as an example my white brothers and sisters; it helps if you have more than ONE dance move, 3rd this damn video must be breaking a half a dozen federal statutes on shear stupidity!

  20. TGY

    Teh Youtubes, like many software applications, is a wonderful thing until you let actual users touch it.

    On the other hand, it was interesting to see all of the young Hillary supporters left in the country gathered in one room.

  21. JewdishoowarySquare

    Hey, catchy! Now please excuse me while I go laugh uncontrollably at something completely unrelated.

  22. Son of Mark Penn

    If anyone on the Rules and Bylaws committee sees this, it’s curtains for Obama!

  23. Bigfoot

    How soon we forget–this is our friend from the Texas primary! He seems to have acquired some funds to make this memorable piece of video art out of what was at the time only an incipient (but franly brilliant)idea. My guess is that he has a job coaching junior high cheerleaders somewhere in that great state.

  24. villageatrois

    Gosh, Beav, those band kids get so excited about universal health care. Pretty keen.

  25. weirdiowasculpture

    For a while I was trying to figure out whether he got the costume idea from the Music Man, the Sergeant Pepper album, or Michael Jackson in his 30s, but then I figured who the fuck cares and went back to being a heterosexual again.

  26. edgydrifter

    I watched it with the sound off thinking it would suck slightly less. It doesn’t. In fact, it heaps on a whole layer of confusing. It becomes suckfusing.

  27. Anonymous Office Zombie

    Indeed, dancing man, how about we all “get real” and start talking about delegate math.

  28. FunkyPalmettoBug

    @”Son of Mark Penn”: This might be Hilz’s master strategy: play this for the RBC committee, then have their proceedings delayed for 6 weeks as the committee members recover at the GW hospital center. Its sort of like that Monty Python skit(there’s too much about this campaign that can be described this way) with the joke that can kill people.

  29. nowukkers

    Nope. This is “Waiting for Guffman” for 2008. Clearly not made for ass face bastard people

  30. Lazy Media

    I refuse to believe that a single second of that was unplanned. So WTF is up with the church steeple/phallus imagery at the beginning and end? Is he implying that Hillary secretly has a penis, so it’s OK for sexists to vote for her? Or is that some kinda crack at Jeremiah Wright?

    And the line, “Put a sign in your hand, and take it home to your man,” coincides with a close-up of a goateed guy who appears to be wearing a baby harness. No comment.

  31. TJBeck

    I mean wow. From the the [after minutes of yelling to an empty street] “I don’t think this is working” comment to the thinly veiled “we don’t need no bling”, to the “take a sign home to your man” part, this is an amazingly ill-conceived video.

    Although, thinking about it, it works as a metaphor for the campaign. It starts with two guys standing in a street with a sign yelling at no one in particular, sort of the staple method of campaigning for the Democratic establishment for quite some time. This clearly symbolizes the early Clinton campaign where she relied on name recognition alone in an empty field of candidates to just take her to victory.

    Then, when all of a sudden (Iowa) they realize that doesn’t work, they shift strategy, toss the sign in the gutter, and start a ridiculously out-of touch message that desperately tries to be emotionally attached, ‘cool’ and exciting (crying). However, we soon realize that taking a 90s message, removing all influence from the African American community (we don’t need no bling/white rapping style) results in something, just, horrible. The brainwashed supporters all round themselves up in a closed environment (Jezebel, West Virginia) and scream at each other while ignoring the rest of the world.

    After a while, they start to tire, and explode out of the confined space to a world where no one is actually listening to them. The empty street at the end is a powerful symbol of the current state of the Hillary campaign.

    In the house indeed.

  32. DoctorCulturae

    This is clearly the best, most accurately depicted performance art that has even been constructed. It perfectly catches all the bluster, shallowness, anger, and sheer unknowingness of the Hills campaign. This is the purest form of goosebump inducing blather. It is the bridge to the 21st century and as the ending so accurately shows, it leads to Nowhere. The title: “It Takes a Village of Idiots.”

  33. please_be_genital

    I zoned out for a second and then around 1:36 I asked…why does it say “LIAR” behind that guy? Hmmm

  34. valencia

    ok i give up – this has convinced me that hillary really shud be president of the united states

  35. IShotHowardHunt

    I feel the need to point out that this song was actually performed at an HRC rally in Indiana, and supporters were signing the refrain ‘Hillary in the House, Hillary in the White House.’

  36. AudicityofHope

    @killyoko Good golly Miss Molly! He must be the most flamboyant queer in America and he probably “works” with children for his day-job. What a creepy creepy man-thing!

  37. The Loch Ness Monster

    @AudicityofHope (re: “He must be the most flamboyant queer in America and he probably ‘works’ with children”)

    Well that’s not cool. I wouldn’t want him to be influencing anyone’s taste in music or politics, but I don’t see how being flamboyant has anything to do with whether he’s safe around children.

    If he were a priest or a republican congressman, we might have something to worry about.

  38. shortsshortsshorts

    I see teh gays continue their love of Hillary. Luckily all my SF GAY GAY GAY friends are going black and never going back. These people are merely forgotten bitter terrorists.

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