Republican Priest Asks God To Change Obama’s Mind, Because He’s An Awful Man

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At last night’s New York State Republican Party dinner, at which Rudy Giuliani appeared as a loser and Dick Cheney spoke like a hero, the “invocation” was delivered by a “Monsignor” Jim Lisante. Guess what? He’s a comedian, too! He tells all sorts of funny jokes, this guy, he’s hilarious. Check out this line from his “partisan” appeal to his God: “One more thing, Lord. Please tell Senator Obama that maybe change is a good thing and maybe he should think about changing his favorite preacher.” But his favorite preacher is you, MONSIGNOR! [Ben Smith]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • ManchuCandidate

    GOP RC Priest. Yeah, no comments about diddling boys come to mind.

  • Dramatist

    I don’t understand – he didn’t deliver his most convincing argument to the group: Barack Obama’s preacher was black! Don’t people understand this?

  • loudmouthredhead

    Wow, that’s so timely and fresh! Who knew the GOP had such funny people, and CATHOLIC ones too!?

    No offense to any religious people on this site, but these guys make you ALL look bad. Sorry, but it’s like how rednecks make us whiteys so proud.

  • NoWireHangers

    From the Chimp Board:
    “Welcome back Wonkettes. Now you can vote yourself as high as you’d like. Its amazing what power a little Patriotic website has over the big bad Wonkette. Whoa… we’re scared. NOT.”

    At first I read it and thought, how do they know we’re high. Anyway, COMEDY GOLD.

  • NoWireHangers

    Erm…I meant to post that comment on a different post. Damn this new commenting system! I hates it!

  • Cicada

    Good grief, I made the mistake of following the Politico link. Those comments make me want to wash my brain, awful lot of “hardworking” folks over there.

    Did I miss something? When did this election become a holy war? Do atheists get conscientious objector status?

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Trust me, NoWireHangers, it hates us, too.

  • ronaldpagan

    Republican comedy is way funnier when it’s unintentional.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Nostradamus ’08. Bring BACK the change.

  • Johnny_Zhivago

    This guy is a regular celebrity with his own web-sight no less!

    Take a look at the stars who come on his VERY OWN SHOW:

  • AudicityofHope

    “This explains today’s crane collapse. Karma’s a bitch.”- Sharon Stone

    Wow! What was that little verse in Matthew chapter 7? You might want to re-read the Bible and ask Jesus for some forgiveness, asshole.

  • Cookie Guggelman

    Forget about debates, Barry and Walnuts should just have a “preach-off” with all their wacky men of god.

  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    Yes, but who is the Flying Spaghetti Monster endorsing?

  • ronaldpagan

    “My friends, we live in the greatest nation of the history of the world.” Was anyone else surprised that this didn’t turn out to be a McCain quote?

    Also, he’s calling Rev. Wright’s statements half truths? So, like, dude believes the government didn’t invent AIDS, they just perfected it? God DARN America?

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …someone tell this ASSHOLE that just because you are screaming “Oh-God” while you are banging your 13 year old choir boy it doesn’t make it prayer!

  • SayItWithWookies

    When someone says “change,” the very first things I think of are the Republican Party and the Catholic Church. Because nothing highlights positive change more than the religion that only recently exonerated Galileo and the political party that would like to dig him up and burn him at the stake.

  • georgia_peach

    I can haz commentz?

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    @AngryBlakGuy: Winner.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    @AngryBlakGuy:…P.S. you may want to stop calling Communion Wine “Jesus Juice” otherwise Michael Jackson may slap you with a Copyright infringement lawsuit!

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    And when will Barack give up that heathen god of his for the one true God? I mean, Allah, what the heck is that? It sounds like one of Santa’s Reindeer. Allah, the other Reindeer.

    Thanks a lot everyone, tip your waitresses! Try the veal!

  • georgia_peach

    hey y’all — how do you reply directly to a post? I can finally leave a comment but I can’t do it “@Commenter’s name”. Rrrgh.

    Anyway, in other ways that the Catholic Church is enlightened, they will now immediately excommunicate any ordained female AND the bishop who ordained her. Because then the womens might stop making Catholic babies, or some shit. I don’t know.

  • StrangelyBrown

    Let’s see, Obama wants to make peace with people who hate us and allow the sick to have the chance to get healed, even if they’re poor. I can totally see why Christians hate him — I mean, what kind of Godless Commie ideology is that?

  • wonk_the_heck

    their brains will explode when the realise Monsignor is FRENCH

  • Godless Liberal *

    @StrangelyBrown: They don’t just hate us, they hate JESUS and worship some jolly faggot named Ali or something like that. Why would you want to make peace with someone who hates Jesus? That is like hating Jesus yourself.

  • WhatTheHeck

    You know, for the longest time I’ve suspected god was a Republican. Little things like, asking said god to bless our bombs as they fall on different god-worshipping peoples. And letting agents of said god say stupid-ass things.

    Oh yes, I’m afraid of this god. He might just switch my vote for Obama to his righteous adversary McCain.

  • StrangelyBrown

    @Godless Liberal * (mustn’t forget the *): So when Jesus tried to make peace with the people who hated him, that was only because he was a self-hating Jew, right? Wow, it all makes sense now…

  • Godless Liberal *

    @StrangelyBrown: He was Woody Allen before Woody Allen was Woody Allen.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Jim: When you say that “Dick Cheney spoke like a hero,” am I wrong to think that you mean that he was covered in blood and had the veins of children hanging from his teeth?

  • ronaldpagan


    Some smart person taught me this earlier. It’s a pain in the ass though. You have to click on the date under that person’s comment, and then link to that URL.

    (a href=http://URL)Commenter Name(/a)

    Replace the parentheses with and voila.

  • columnv


  • nowukkers

    @loudmouthredhead. And people look at me with a mixture of pity and revulsion when I tell them I am an atheist. Frankly, gastro-intestinal diseases are now a more socially acceptable topic of conversation than religion. In fact, a political candidate would probably prefer to have issues with the former, rather than the latter these days.

  • ronaldpagan


    Right? I think it’s gonna be at least a hundred years before an atheist can be elected president. Weirdly enough they were more comfortable with the idea in 1776.

  • loudmouthredhead

    @ronaldpagan: Now, those were all God-fearin’ men! (Meaning, they feared what church influence would do to a country, so they didn’t endorse one….pot-AY-to, pot-AH-to)

  • divinedajji

    Seriously, aren’t there laws against making partisan statements in public as a religious professional? Like scary, double-your-taxes, type laws?

    Though, I suppose there are also laws against covering up sex abuse for 30 years.

    Hey, why stop if you’re on a roll?

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Politics, religion and race, three utterly taboo topics for most, BUT LET US COMBINE THEM AND SHIT THEM ALL OVER THE PLACE. Nice work, perv.

  • Dances With Ellen