About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Darehead

    I’ll try to be the first one to say she ain’t no Paultard, but Shorts might beat me to it.

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    When I saw “home schooled,” I imagined a kid of more Huckabee-esque proportions. This one could probably get out of Taco Bell for under fifteen bucks, which ain’t bad.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Give the young’n a break. So what if she likes plumbers crack.

  • blogfather

    Peanut-butter and crack sandwich. MmmmmMmm

  • blogfather

    I love sensationalist headlines. As if the paper couldn’t spare one more letter in the headline to say “teen has ‘a’ crack at…”. I was sorta dissapointed to find out the kid wasn’t on crack. That’s when you know the headline is good.

  • elburrito

    I’m back, baby.
    But there’s no way I’m giving you guys my mother’s maiden name. Nice try!

  • Kingbee

    No doubt she keeps those pieces of paper in her own crack, for instant retrieval at the spelling bee.

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    @Kingbee: A young Carolee Schneemann? This stuff was genius in the mid-70’s.


  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    Girlfriend gets one whore diamond just for spelling “Loquacity” correctly.

  • Darehead

    @elburrito–yeah, for Wonkette, after all, I thought there would be more snarky original questions too. Maybe we can think of some new ones for version 2.0!

    And how many politicians in our planet’s history are worthy of being favorite?

    It was also confusing to have only two choices of gender. Hmmmmm…..

  • Patty Dumpling

    “Student gets ‘AIDS’ to win National Acronym Bee”

  • TGY

    Trying…hard…to care…failing…

  • ronaldpagan

    She’s no dope.

  • Serolf Divad

    That’s funny, when I get high on crack mai speeling awl gos too shet…

  • Diadhuit

    Ugh, i used to do the Spelling Bee/ Geography Bee circuit, trust me- you’ll need more than crack to stay awake.

  • Crow T. Robot

    This children is learning.

  • villageatrois

    “Spelling-bee”? Oh… there it is, right between “Ay” and “Cee”.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    @Darehead: You have the east coast advantage dammit!

    Maybe she can spell her way into a meth addition. Floridians would surely be proud of this, right?

  • V572625694

    Anyone ever consider how utterly stupid the whole idea of competitive spelling is? It was really stupid when you had to look up words in the dictionary, but now that you can access dictionary.com on a handheld, what is the point of filling your head with words like loquacity without knowing what they mean?

    That said, many props to that little girl, who will in three years will be quite hittable.

  • DizzyLizzy

    the shelf should read: judges too drunk to dock points/see

  • blogfather

    @V572625694- win!

  • TGY

    @V572625694: Spelling is only a valid contest in English. Other languages have the..uh..sense..to make more sense. Or cents, or since, or scents.

  • shortsshortsshorts


    Definitely “cents,”
    can she spell r-e-c-e-s-s-i-o-n?

  • NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    What’s the prize for winning a spelling bee? A makeover by the Fab5? If anyone needs it, it’s these pour soles.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Have you ever been to a spelling bee? They should be required to give out crack to keep everyone awake.

  • donner_froh

    Red tape holds up bridge.

    Squad helps dog bite victim.

  • 1ofUS

    Xerxes says, all my xeroxes are xerarchs.

  • villageatrois

    Did anyone notice that the winner was a thirteen year old from Indiana? Wasn’t that the home of Reagan’s human shield, Dan Quayle? Sameer is lucky they didn’t ask him to spell “potatoe”.