JIM GIBBONS  2:27 am May 29, 2008

JIM GIBBONS DIVORCE INSANITY:

by Ken Layne

America’s worst governor and alcoholic adulterous sex-assaulter crook Jim Gibbons and his power-crazed wife Dawn are finally getting the divorce everybody always knew they’d get, and it’s going to be ugly, and the court documents are hilarious. [My Silver State/Las Vegas Gleaner]

 
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Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 52 comments }

loquaciousmusic May 29, 2008 at 6:49 am

We’re bringing sexy back!

Yeah!

How long do you think it’ll take Tony to log in?

loquaciousmusic May 29, 2008 at 6:55 am

By the way, that first comment was me, loquaciousmusic.

Or was it TonyTheTiger…?

You’ll never know!

Grrrr!

threefingersneat May 29, 2008 at 7:55 am

“has shunned his wife without justification for that behavior.”

Oh not, he di’int!

threefingersneat May 29, 2008 at 7:58 am

“…despite having vowed to not comment on the details of the breakup of the marriage, he specially breaks his vow of silence to defend. In short, by not stepping up and by not candidly admitting his fawning involvement with his frequent bar, lunch, dinner, and even grocery store companion, he has brought the spotlight down upon himself and upon the reason for the divorce.”

Let’s see if I understand this correctly. By not admitting his involvement with the other girl, he breaks his vow of silence? Gibbo sure can attract the smart ones, can’t he?

Patty Dumpling May 29, 2008 at 8:29 am

I really enjoy the Flavor Flav-style bling that he’s wearing as he sips his Courvoisier.

ReelectTilden May 29, 2008 at 8:29 am

He didn’t lie about a blowjob, did he? ‘Cause that shit will not stand.

Botswana Meat Commission FC May 29, 2008 at 8:34 am

and even grocery store companion

You can’t take your ho to the grocery sto!

WaldoJeffer'sHead May 29, 2008 at 8:46 am

“…she is blameless and that lust is the real villain here.”

I don’t see Lust on trial. Where is the justice!?

Patty Dumpling May 29, 2008 at 8:54 am

“For just one example, even when, after consuming copious amounts of alcohol, and under the cover of darkness, in a garage in Las Vegas, the plaintiff was accused of assaulting a young woman, bearing a striking resemblance, to the ‘other woman’ referenced, below, that woman, too, like his wife now, was trashed and the public was, again, misled”

‘That woman was trashed’. And so was the person who wrote that sentence using 14 commas. Just hammered.

Godless Liberal May 29, 2008 at 8:55 am

The more I look at that picture the more I wonder why he is wearing a Gumby hat.

TJBeck May 29, 2008 at 9:39 am

I just registered “Tony the Tiger” with the spaces, but I’m having trouble logging in with it.

loquaciousmusic May 29, 2008 at 9:43 am

I posted this picture earlier, but it didn’t go through because there was something blocking the tubes. Anyway, I don’t think it would be misogynist at all to blame Ana, do you?

TJBeck May 29, 2008 at 9:58 am

So when does my avatar show up?

TJBeck May 29, 2008 at 10:01 am

@loquaciousmusic: We have to craft our own “REPLY” syntax.

loquaciousmusic May 29, 2008 at 10:03 am

Damn! The picture didn’t post. The Internet is poopy.

Here’s the link.

http://www.kscakes.com/LolCats/Uploads/Saved/im-in-ur-wonkettz-wreakin-havok.jpg

Botswana Meat Commission FC May 29, 2008 at 10:16 am

consuming copious amounts of alcohol, and under the cover of darkness, in a garage in Las Vegas

You just know this isn’t going anywhere good.

loquaciousmusic May 29, 2008 at 10:22 am

Holy shitstorm, did you read the document? It has passages like this one:

After all, it is only a coincidence that she moved out of her marital home too and is
seeking a divorce at the same time he is, too. Note that he doesn’t mention that fact or deny
it in his rebuttal. Right!

Who’s her lawyer, James Patterson?

norbziness May 29, 2008 at 10:45 am

Senile pimpin’ ain’t easy.

Advocatus_Diaboli May 29, 2008 at 11:23 am

“… lust is the real villain here.”

That is fucking priceless!

blogfather May 29, 2008 at 11:28 am

I tried to register a name and it said it was “busy mixing up a can of pink paint” when I clicked on the link in my email.

TJBeck May 29, 2008 at 11:38 am

There is no preview comment option. Lets see if image posting works.
html way

fourm way
[img=http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/8337/bigpipedd2.th.jpg]

old way:
<img src=”http://www.houseofcuss.co.uk/thepipe/pics/bigpipe.jpg”

Serolf Divad May 29, 2008 at 11:53 am

So do we have to create all new accounts for the new Wonkette?

user-of-owls May 29, 2008 at 11:57 am

re: Serolf Divad

“…the redesign is the real villain here.”

Serolf Divad May 29, 2008 at 12:00 pm

OK, just testing the ol’ Avatar here.

loquaciousmusic May 29, 2008 at 12:01 pm

Boy, I just hope that everyone who registers will get commenting privileges so that the “Comments” section of Wonkette can become the dumbed down, error-riddled, bitchy younger brother of Consumerist.

metropolitan May 29, 2008 at 12:02 pm

so i don’t get it, are we still supposed to be funny or can we just be self righteously lefty?

Rev. Peter Lemonjello May 29, 2008 at 12:03 pm

testing

metropolitan May 29, 2008 at 12:03 pm

what’s with this “you’re posting comments too quickly, slow down”? should i just send my comments in a postcard and check back next week?

MathewBrooks May 29, 2008 at 12:09 pm

With this new wonkette can i still make fun of draculacunt?

Indi May 29, 2008 at 12:12 pm

@Loquaciousmusic: The new wonkette design: providing the freedom for all to comment in the same vein as the jackass who yells “Freebird!” at a non-Skynyrd concert.

Horrible, horrible freedom.

ReelectTilden May 29, 2008 at 12:12 pm

So, are they posting anything new today, or are we just going to talk about Jim Gibbons’s train wreck of a marriage until we grow old and die?

blogfather May 29, 2008 at 12:12 pm

@loquaciousmusic: Ah c’mon. I love to see how lost the consumerist commenters look when they log on to the Wonkette.

Dave J. May 29, 2008 at 12:14 pm

My comments are are to be less interesting and HTML-y without the leet preview function.

SayItWithWookies May 29, 2008 at 12:15 pm

Hello? Hello? It’s dark and I’m frightened.

TGY May 29, 2008 at 12:18 pm

After more than twenty years of marriage, the Plaintiff has deserted, abandoned, and
has shunned his wife without justification for that behavior

Hell hath no fury like a woman shunned!

TGY May 29, 2008 at 12:20 pm

@SayItWithWookies: It is better to light a man afire than curse the darkness.

blogfather May 29, 2008 at 12:21 pm

All 2 of my followers are lost forever now.

Rev. Peter Lemonjello May 29, 2008 at 12:23 pm

Who do I speak to about getting my muffin basket?

Godless Liberal * May 29, 2008 at 12:27 pm

Crap. Somehow Wonkette commenters (myself included) are already 67% less funny on the new comment system.

loquaciousmusic May 29, 2008 at 12:27 pm

I AM STILL A STAR COMMENTER IN MY HEART, GODDAMMIT!

loquaciousmusic May 29, 2008 at 12:29 pm

There. I just changed my avatar. That’ll show those Consumerist readers who’s boss!

Godless Liberal * May 29, 2008 at 12:29 pm

@loquaciousmusic: Sometimes you gotta make your own star, man.

SayItWithWookies May 29, 2008 at 12:32 pm

@TGYYeah, but cursing the darkness is fun, too.
Well as someone who has dealt with his share of screaming end-users before, I sympathize with our relocated Wonkette overlords.

floraway May 29, 2008 at 12:34 pm

There is a lot of important news not being reported by Wonkette today. Look, I expect to learn that Ricky Martin endorsed Hillz today from you, not Ben Smith.

metropolitan May 29, 2008 at 12:37 pm

if the editor’s can’t ban commenters anymore then i will quit trying to be funny and i will instead post multiple paragraph theories on politics and crosslink to pages full of adsense ads.

SayItWithWookies May 29, 2008 at 12:39 pm

In other news, McCrone’s chief economic advisor, Phil Gramm, was a lobbyist for a Swiss banking firm while he helped craft McCrone’s economic policy.
McCrone Bald-Pate Deep in Lobbyists
Gramm was still actively lobbying for UBS on March 26, when he contributed to a speech in which McCain recommended further deregulation as a response to the mortgage crisis. Talking Points Memo notes that “UBS is among the banks worst hit by the global credit crisis,” with about $37 billion in assets tied to bad US mortgages.

UBS has now told members of a private banking team which advised wealthy American clients to avoid travel to the US, following the indictment of a former senior executive for helping a billionaire evade taxes.

Hey, I wonder if this means Gramm’s going to be indicted for abetting tax evasion too — he could be the first cabinet secretary to conduct business from a minimum security prison.

blogfather May 29, 2008 at 12:42 pm

@loquaciousmusic: Respect my whore diamonds!

V572625694 May 29, 2008 at 12:43 pm

Shoot–thought I might get banned. Oh well…more hours to waste. Beats working.

blogfather May 29, 2008 at 12:52 pm

I wouldn’t let me create Antonio the Tiger, which is the cereal characters REAL name. Why else do you think he put such an emphasis on grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!

Pop Socket May 29, 2008 at 12:55 pm

@Serolf Divad: Glad to see you made it through the wormhole. The place wouldn’t be the same without you.

loudmouthredhead May 29, 2008 at 4:55 pm

Teh login thingy is all weirdy-like now…

I personally think he looks like a russian scullery maid

oracle May 29, 2008 at 10:16 pm

Where is the proof?
I’m not doubting the story necessarily. I just want to see proof.
I see no reason as yet to take her word for anything.
Unless we’re supposed to take her word for it because she’s the wife (and a woman, therefore entitled to special, separate and unequal treatment in America’s “egalitarian” eyes) and he’s a Republican.
But that would be hypocrisy, wouldn’t it?

Your hate will kill you.

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