Capitol Hill's Schedulers Struggle With Simple Tasks!

It's a tough job, being a scheduler for a Congressman on Capitol Hill on Thursday, because that's when all legislators pretend Friday is not a working day and go home to their loving constituents, where they drink Arnold Palmers and discuss mobile housing arrangements with their side families. Today seems to be an especially hectic Thursday, if the House schedulers' list serve is any indication. They can't find icings for their cakes or phone numbers for their Libraries of Congress!

Uh oh, someone's gotta put on a big staff party by the end of the day and doesn't even have the necessary cake frosting! Help help, dear scheduler comrades! Do you keep any Duncan Hines in your pockets? Sigh. If only there were some kind of "store of groceries" that existed.

But that emergency is nothing compared to what we have here. This scheduler's "boss" wants to talk to some... library... government book place? You all heard of this thing, this extremely well-known government organization that's right across the fucking street? Hopefully it has telephones, but Google probably wouldn't know...

We hope these schedulers were able to learn from their erudite colleagues before the long weekend.