Bush To Bomb Iran Tomorrow

George W. Bush has two great ambitions in life: to be the president of Major League Baseball, and to bomb Iran. He will accomplish the second in his waning days in public office before retiring and turning his attention to the very important task of running the sport of baseball into the ground.

A senior Israeli official told the JerusalemPostthat George Bush and Dick Cheney both have ants in their pants and are desperate to bomb Iran. However, spoilsports Robert Gates and Condi Rice, who would actually have to run the thing militarily and diplomatically, are not so keen on the idea. So until those two can be lured into compromising photos or set up in a hooker sting or something, Iran is probably safe.

 'Bush intends to attack Iran before the end of his term' [Jerusalem Post]