Sorry, White Trash: Obama Will Not Get A Tattoo

Barack Obama is going to win in Oregon as big as Hillary won in West Virginia, but it will count for twice as many delegates. Also, he won the nomination. Still, he has to keep campaigning because Hillary will never ever quit the race, so he had to do this depressing Q&A with one of the "alt-weekly" papers in Portland. If you thought alt-weeklies were the last refuge of aging grunge losers, this interview really isn't going to change your view.

The main concerns of the Willamette Week staff, obviously, are smoking marijuana and getting tattoos. This is the primary economic activity of the balding '90s "Pearl Jam" fan, other than wearing calf-length giant shorts and incorrectly describing everything as "ironic." (Ha ha, this was the last generation of Americans who could even read .)

So here's a sampling from the Portland weekly's Q&A with Barack Obama:

Q: Any irony that Oregon may put you over the top?

A: I don't know how ironic it would be, but I would be thrilled by it happening, and I hope it does.

Q: If you had a tattoo, what would it be and where would you put it?

A: Uh, I cannot imagine any circumstances in which I would get a tattoo. If a gun was put to my head?

Q: Yes.

A: Then I suppose I'd have to have [his wife] Michelle's name tattooed somewhere very discreet.

And yes, they really had to explain that "Michelle" was the name of Obama's wife and not just some random whore name for a tattoo. Read the full interview for the inevitable Medical Marijuana question.

 Six Minutes With Barack Obama [Willamette Week]