Just because everyone “important” was in Rome doesn’t mean that last
night’s Radio and Television correspondents dinner wasn’t exciting! We
heard this morning that a certain former Kerry campaign-type was
there and used the opportunity to engineer a meeting with his or her
hero,
Karl Rove. We asked him or her to share the details of this
life-changing
event.
(11:54:01) Wonkette: First: How was the dinner? Was *anyone* there?
(11:54:51) SecretDemStaffer: how could a room so full be so empty?
(11:55:17) SecretDemStaffer: groans of “ron silver…” echoing
throughout the room.
(11:55:32) Wonkette: yes, instead of TV anchors: wounded soldiers!
(11:55:42) SecretDemStaffer: men in uniform are yummy.
(11:55:46) SecretDemStaffer: so that helped.
(11:56:22) Wonkette: it’s a nice thought but sort of a downer. on the
other hand, how many washington reporters have actually met some who
has served in the military? so it was educational, too, probably.
(11:56:37) SecretDemStaffer: breaking: soldiers drink too.
(11:56:42) Wonkette: i would!
(11:57:45) Wonkette: it was all just a dress rehearsal for prom, anyway
(11:57:49) SecretDemStaffer: sadie hawkins dance.
(11:57:54) Wonkette: exactly
(11:58:08) Wonkette: but the real news, i hear, is that you met karl
rove
(11:58:17) SecretDemStaffer: be still my beating heart.
(11:58:19) Wonkette: could you see his horns?
(11:58:28) Wonkette: the cloven hooves?
(11:58:40) SecretDemStaffer: h.o.t.
Interview continues after the jump.
(11:58:54) Wonkette: did you actually speak?
(11:59:02) Wonkette: i would be incapable, i think
(11:59:11) SecretDemStaffer: there was gushing.
(11:59:30) SecretDemStaffer: from me.
(11:59:36) SecretDemStaffer: and bemusement.
(11:59:37) SecretDemStaffer: from him.
(11:59:42) Wonkette: did he know who you were?
(11:59:59) SecretDemStaffer: before or after?
(12:00:16) SecretDemStaffer: before: chick in near-sprint coming toward
him.
(12:00:18) SecretDemStaffer: after: biggest fan.
(12:00:37) SecretDemStaffer: i literally burst into a run when i saw
him about to leave.
(12:01:12) SecretDemStaffer: wish i’d seen what he left in.
(12:01:19) Wonkette: hummer
(12:01:25) Wonkette: who did you say you were?
(12:01:26) SecretDemStaffer: again: h.o.t.
(12:01:32) SecretDemStaffer: i said i’d worked on the campaign
(12:01:38) SecretDemStaffer:
(cue bemusement.)
(12:01:46) SecretDemStaffer: and that i was a true admirer.
(12:02:00) Wonkette: for those following along at home: do you want to
elaborate at all on that self description?
(12:02:35) SecretDemStaffer: to keep tabs on bush.
(12:02:59) Wonkette: so you were like the dem’s karl rove!
(12:03:10) Wonkette: his opposite number!
(12:03:18) Wonkette: that means we can blame you, right?
(12:03:24) SecretDemStaffer: yes.
(12:03:27) SecretDemStaffer: not shrum.
(12:03:27) SecretDemStaffer: me.
(12:03:52) Wonkette: hey, no one *expected* shrum to win it.
(12:04:00) Wonkette: good thing i’m not publishing your email address.
(12:04:13) SecretDemStaffer: joe.lockhart@aol.com
(12:04:37) SecretDemStaffer: or
(12:04:44) SecretDemStaffer: senior.adviser2347892345789@johnkerry.com
(12:04:47) Wonkette: thanks, mary beth. more about rove: did you learn
anything?
(12:05:38) Wonkette: anything at all? like, how’s the breath? does it
smell of the freshly eaten babies?
(12:05:46) SecretDemStaffer: hands-down best-ever handshake.
(12:06:02) Wonkette: ooooh. better than kerry?
(12:06:07) SecretDemStaffer: best.
(12:06:07) SecretDemStaffer: ever.
(12:06:25) SecretDemStaffer: you know, maybe it wasn’t him…
(12:06:32) SecretDemStaffer: he smiled and laughed.
(12:06:36) SecretDemStaffer: i think his eyes even crinkled in the
corners.
(12:06:47) SecretDemStaffer: i think i’m in love.
(12:06:52) Wonkette: you mean, you think it might have been, what, karl
rove’s *good* twin?
[Deleted personal conversation about fate proposed "Tiger Beat" Rove
cover and what WH correspondent should write it...]
(12:09:57) SecretDemStaffer: oh, and a republican staffer slipped me a
hard copy of [mike allen's] story and whispered, “put this in your
purse to read later.”
(12:10:43) SecretDemStaffer: clearly, something happened in that moment
when our hands touched.
(12:11:43) Wonkette: that’s terrific to hear. i’m beginning to regret
missing it. but my date was in rome….
(12:12:37) Wonkette: so why would a GOP staffer be all excited about
mike’s story?
(12:13:00) SecretDemStaffer: double-agent?
(12:13:44) Wonkette: maybe that guy who wrote the memo was a real dick
or something. personally, i’m disappointed that it turns out to be
actually from the republicans
(12:14:15) SecretDemStaffer: myths shattered about typos and GOP.
(12:14:54) Wonkette: well, yes. first disappointment is that GOP
staffers apparently are also victims of our shattered american
education system
(12:15:03) SecretDemStaffer: 39 year-old
(12:16:04) Wonkette: second disappointment: was so proud of us! finally
catching up in dirty tricks department!
(12:16:44) SecretDemStaffer: third disappointment: apparently nothing
to do with CBS.
(12:17:38) Wonkette: well powerline hasn’t given up hope. i heard that
memo was faxed from a kinkos in kiliene.
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