Wonkette

Sounds like a ditto-head. Look for the code word "Messiah" a lot if Barry wins nomination.

"...all you have to worry about is sitting back and soliciting more dementia from your readers."

And apparently it's working. (Sorry, I couldn't abide the all-caps). And hey, Maria B -- up your Jesus.

Translation: 'Ha ha I bet you Obama freaks are all perverts who have bastard children and don't properly marry.'

This 'modern gen', I'll tell ya... Ms. B obviously pines for the good 'ol days when your hubby beat the shit out of you and you stayed together, dammit, for the children...

Let's see: first have a kid, then get divorced, the get married... Now, what does that remind me of?..

18 ¶ aNow the bbirth of Jesus Christ was con this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.
19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick aexample, was bminded to cput her away privily.
20 But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a adream, saying, Joseph, thou son of bDavid, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the cHoly Ghost.
21 And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his aname bJESUS: for he shall csave his people from their sins.
22 Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying,
23 aBehold, a bvirgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his cname dEmmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.
24 Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his awife:
25 And knew her not till she had brought forth her afirstborn son: and he called his name JESUS.

I can understand, maybe, coming up with something like that in a feverish drunk at 4 in the morning, but 10:28 a.m.? Happy Mother's Day, Maria B! [imagine all caps] Or something like that!

If getting knocked up by one rich doctor, then divorcing him and taking half his money and then marrying a different rich doctor will somehow help Hopey get into office, please direct me to the nearest fertility clinic.

MARIA B. MAD DOES NOT UNDERSTAND!!!!! WAAAAA

So she's worried that we're going to 'sit back' and let Barack Obama get us pregnant?

I think she's talking about me. Also, she's talking about the movie Juno.

However, I am not demented, only stressed. McCain is demented.

@IrasGlasses: Stressed, and usually drunk.

@IrasGlasses: Like right now?

@amygdala1: I was hungover, so I started drinking. Yes.

@confusionanddelay: If Barack Obama announced that he was putting himself out to stud, the line would stretch from D.C. to the West Coast.

@AxmxZ: That reminds me of the image of Colonel Aureliano Buendia in Gabriel Garcia Marquez's Hundred Years of Solitude, in his hammock, with the mothers sending their daughters to bear his children. Then the bastards coming to the door of Ursula for refuge, and sent away to be slain by his enemies.

This reminds me of when the Holy Ghost entered me and got me with child, and I delivered him and raised him up to question the church elders, comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

I thought the modern generation was all about apathy, not bastardry.

Obama's father divorced his mother to study economics at Harvard. What Freudian interpretation can you draw from that?

@Harvey Birdman: Ha! I think this one's my fav:

[loltheist.com]

Speaking of Obama, the whole "single mother on food stamps" may be literally true but Obama's mother was supported all the time by her parents, Obama's grandparents.

@IrasGlasses: That is, while she was working on her Ph.D. before being hired (out of nowhere?) as a program manager for the Ford Foundation in Jakarta.

I feel your pain, Maria. Its a real bummer when you get to that part of the 12 Steps where you have to apologize to all the people you treated like shit, and they all line up, and then can't get a parade permit.

Do you think "Soliciting Dementia" would be a good song title? Or is it too pretentious?

@IrasGlasses: Speaking of dementia, I can't BELIEVE you haven't been banned yet! But thanks for all the Bowie videos and Marquez references. (Seriously.)

I wonder if MARIA B's name is legally all-caps. Like, on her birth certificate.

"My name's (screaming) MARIA, but all my friends call me Maria. It's easier."

@IrasGlasses: "Literally true" is the best kind of true for a politician.

Just wait 'til your Messiah gets home!

...ummmmm, can I get a little bit of whatever she is drinking?! No ice please, thank you!

10 to 1 Maria B. = Tony the Tiger

...and by the way the Clintonista's(as I hear them called) are really pissy about this losing thing!You would have figured they would be used to it considering they lost 2 MONTHS AGO already! Well you guys can go on ahead and join the Republican party like you have been fantasizing/masturbating about. And a little advice for you when you do switch sides; it isnt a scandal unless you pay 20 bucks for it! Ta-ta

@sezme: ...I like those odds

Mariaaaaaa
She mailed me in caps lock
Mariaaa
And suddenly that name
Will never be quiet sane
To Meeeee

@sezme: If so, I'm impressed s/he made it through two paragraphs without any AIDS or Korean jokes.

ALL YOUR CHANGE ARE BELONG TO WONKETEERS

@Pemulway: I had the same thought!

Mariaaaaa
All Hill-rod's supporters are straying
For our hopeful Messiah we're praying
Mariaaaaaa

@ronaldpagan: Either Wonkette has taught me how to be a socially functional drunk, or the editors are doing something else.

I believe Senator Clinton is ready for her close-up, Mr. Demille

Are you sure that MARIA B., is not Hillary Clinton?

@IrasGlasses: Yeah it seems like Barry's mom was hired out of nowhere to work in Jakarta but I think a lot of these organizations are sort of hard up for educated people who speak obscure-to-us foreign languages to go live God knows where for not much money. My opinion is based only on my own tiny experience but after finishing a college year in an 'obscure' location I met a nice old guy from the World Bank in an airport in London. (no Penthouse letter, sorry) We chatted for a bit and then he gave me his card and assured me that he could get me a job with them and sort of talked up the organization to me.
Just sayin'. It ain't always something sketchy going on.

Good Lord, who gave Harriet Miers the email address? In fact, who gave her a computer?

With apologies to Betty Bowers:

I gave my love to Obama and now he never calls!

@confusionanddelay: It's not like she was isolated out on Tattooine or something. She was like Simone de Beauvoir of Jakarta, hosting parties for dignitaries and whatnot.

Nadine?

Thank god for opinionated MARIA
Who most likely saw Jesus on a tortilla
She types in ALL CAPS
Whilst spewing her crap
This morning she had bad diarrhea

God will help America. He will give us our Hopey!

@graceless: And then the heavens will open, and celestial choirs will sing, and everything will be perfect!

@graceless: Jesus was crucified at the age of 33. That proves Obama isn't Jesus. Who's your Messiah now, eh???

Ted Strickland should be Obama's running mate, I think.

@demtard: Blah blah blah shit on by professionals blah blah blah.

Pretty good spelling, for a wingnut.

@Harvey Birdman: @amygdala1:
Love it! Check out www.jesusoftheweek.com for more divine inspiration. Maria probably left a testimonial there too

@graceless: Forget choirs - just start a TV show documenting his time in the White House. Ratings will be through the roof.

I don't think dementia needs any solicitation. If Maria's e-mail is any indication, I'm pretty sure dementia gushes forth from the depths unbidden.

@Jewdishoowary Square: YEAH OKAY I AGREE I GIVE YOU DIMENTIAS YOU DON'T EVEN ASKED FOR HAHAHA HERE YOU GO HAHAHA

As a general rule, I don't respond to religious comments.

Trying to have a rational discussion about religion is like trying to teach a pig to tap dance: It won't be successful, and will only annoy the pig.

I'd use the same imagery to describe trying to reason with an AIPAC member or other "Supporter of the Democratic State of Israel," but I don't think it would be kosher.

"NOW THAT YOU HAVE "THE MESSIAH" TO LOOK FORWARD TO LEADING ALL OF YOU TO "CHANGE""

cool. i thought i was just supporting a guy with good ideas, a likeable personality, and intelligent rhetoric to be president. but if he's the messiah...bonus!

Sounds like another squirly attempt to start a "culture war" or some such "hip" and "now" form of bigotry.

When are these people going to give up on their damn fancy code words and get back to good, old-fashion, hard-working white vocabulary like "uppity n****r"? It's like they have no sense of their roots.

Huh.

The best will be when Obama wins the Presidency and people who strongly object to this move far far away.

Well. A young, Unitarian, liberal, college-educated, biracial single mom who works at a nonprofit can dream, can't she?

Hey! My premature dementia is only responsible for 3 of my 5 kids born out of wedlock. You apologize to Stonewall and Bobby Lee for that characterization!

@confusionanddelay: You saying we wouldn't?

@ObtuseIntolerant: Mass emigration of rednecks... where to? Maybe a mass suicide instead?

Nadine? Is that you?

So who here is knocked up?Will there be a babyshower?
Exciting news.

How do you get divorced before you get married? Must be the PRE-NUP.

MARIA B.-BABY,LET'S FUCK.I LOVE PSYCHO WOMEN.

@AxmxZ: What shall we call our new Barrack-umentary?

@graceless: I think you just answered your own question. ))

"Modern Generation?" Does she think we're all 18 years old?

Although I do think it's high time for another Summer of Love. Or Hope. Or some such shit.

@baxterthepug: And a year later, a crop of beautiful interracial babies with exotic names!

MARIA B.
Sun, May 11, 2008 at 10:28 AM?
Why aren't you in church?

MARIA is one taco short of a combination plate.

@amygdala1: @Harvey Birdman: Wait, there are lolcats of medieval religious art on the internet?

@Monsieur_Grumpé: She's institutionalized, the poor thing.

@AxmxZ: Barry should start selling his sperm. I'd sell whatever I could to get my hands on an Obama swimmer.

Can't say the same for Hillz. Poor broad. The woman's only been touched once, and the result was a no-chin, buck teeth, fugly girl who's the spitting image of her mother. Judging by Hillz recent choice of rain gear, I believe we can safely rule out any future chance of her being touched again.