Wonkette

Seriously ... can politicians just give up legislating any "morals" on society? That way they can go about their lives, driving drunk and fathering more bastards than Shawn Kemp in peace.

I always preferred the crack high for red headed stepchild visits. I just think it goes better with the moment.

@NBAWRITER1:
Travis Henry, Secretary of Housing and Urban Development

I wish it was my lovechild. Fosella is such a hunky monkey. Still things are looking up for the Republicans. Isn't this like the second straight sex scandal in a row? The Republicans are probably setting up these straight sex scandals intentionally to make them look good this fall.

You know what they say: scratch a Republican, find a plethora of insanely dysfunctional relationships and sexual perversions.

I don't believe this story. He's a Republican? And he's had sex with 2 different women?

I'm very bitter...

Roll calls and booty calls. Rep. Fossella's got it covered.

...ehhhhhhh, it's still only 3 or 4 on the REPUBLICAN scandal meter(7 if he was Dem). Now if the child was black, Mexican or some minority then it will shoot up to a 6!

@TEAM HEIDI: Your blood sugar is low you better eat a little lunch.

Okay, let's see. New York politician. Extramarital affair? Plausible?

[www.haaretz.com]

Nope. Didn't think so.

This is just Phase I of the GOP's "Operation Hetero", designed to trick the American people into thinking they're boobie-loving regular joes, instead of the Liza-loving closet-queens they actually are.

Just think of how uptight and boring a world without Republicans would be! Can you imagine a world in which no child unknowingly refers to her father as uncle Vito? Yawn... it makes me sleepy just to think about it.

Does this mean we get to throw his mistress in jail and watch her commit suicide? Isn't that how the straight Rs seek absolution these days?

This is only interesting if it is a black love child, like the one John McCain "had."

you know who i feel sorry for? the little bastard in a basket.

Have we determined the age of the child's mother? Over 18? An underage Mexican could spice things up a bit.

at least he wasn't all fucked up driving the fat smarmy bastard through taco bell, like that goomba supreme court justice's daughter.

Fossella's polygamist compound is gonna be raided any day now.

@Aurelio: Wait a minute ... McCain, extremely old ... black love child ... Barry's father mysteriously "vanished."

Sweet sassy molassy! Is this a Darth Vader-Luke Slywalker election?

@Pupster: Most of us know it as "Bada Bing."

@NBAWRITER1: Instead of dressing like 19th century prairie women, his 'sister-wives' dress like Staten Island lap dancers.

@NBAWRITER1: You just blew my mind.

The idiot bastard son:
(THE FATHER'S A NAZI IN CONGRESS TODAY . . .
THE MOTHER'S A HOOKER SOMEWHERE IN L.A.)

The idiot bastard son:
(ABANDONED TO PERISH IN BACK OF A CAR . . .
KENNY WILL STASH HIM AWAY IN A JAR)
THE IDIOT BOY!

Still sticking with the month of 'Gay'?

The man was just visiting a constituent. Don Vito's district covers Staten Island, Bensonhurst and Northern Virginia. What? It could happen.

@Pupster: ... in other words, dressed like every woman on Staten Island.

Boom!

@queeraselvis: Tell that to Rudy.

@capitol-hillbilly: Gimme the Blood! Gimme the Blood!

A straight Republican?
Impossible!
There has to be a boyfriend secreted in a closet somewhere.

Lest we be too quick to judge, getting hammered and visiting your bastard child is a grand Northern Virginia tradition.

@Greasy Thumb Guzik: the mother is probably an underage girl...or his neice...there has to be some seedy underside to this.

When do we have the press conference where he parades the wife and legitimate children in front of the cameras while he issues a bullshit apology?

How refreshing! A Republican sex scandal, minus the sweet scent of santorum!

Mom, Vito and the little one. So happy. Yay!
[kcbuzzblog.typepad.com]

He was just being a good drunken abusive Republican father, I don't know why the cops got on his case for it.

OK, Wonkette editors. Promise me that when this congressmen gets older and screws hookers while his kid turns into an alcoholic, you will use the headline, "Love Congressman Fossella Has Drunk Child!

Quick! get that mcgreevy/spitzer blue dress dry cleaned and messengered to Staten Island!

Seriously, I'll take sober wide stance in the Minneapolis Airport men's room any day of the week.

Maybe he's doing his homework so he can run for attorney general in Ohio.

From the Times article: "he had had an extramarital affair with Laura Fay, a former Air Force lieutenant colonel"

There goes the underage babymomma side of things.

Who knew you could have a kid via anal sex with a guy? Damn Republicans have changed biology.

Oh...he had sex with a woman...nevermind.

Using Hawaiian Pizza to get laid is a thing guys do. For a New York guy to actually eat Hawaiian Pizza? That would be "infamita." Disgustoso.

[img][www.nydailynews.com]]

I can totally see having to be drunk to see someone who is now an unwanted "ex".

Gazzo: "How about investing in condominiums? Very safe."
Rocky: "I never use them."

What's scarier? The prospect that your child could be his OR that his child could be yours???

Gee. An Italian guy named Vito from Staten Island has a gumar. Who would have ever guessed?

I just checked and there are dozens of places that serve Hawaiian pizza in Manhattan and all the boroughs too.New York I love you but you're bringing me down.

@PrairiePossum:

Yah! The non-perp-wife-walk where home viewers get to check out what his legitimate options might have been; usually to YOWZA! acclamation, as for Silda. CNN runs 'em everyday, and YouTube runs 'em forever.

Otoh... nobody effin' cares. I always get sad, and a little horny, for the wife. CNN has obviously got my number.

Hey! That's my neck of the woods!

No snark, though. I just hope his real children don't know about the little illegitimate. Or that their dad's a drunk fornicator.

I thought NY politicians were supposed to keep their hos in Albany... amateur.

I think the important lesson that the Republicans learned in this case is to not put straight men in congress...they aren't crafty enough.

Never call your girlfriend to come spring you from jail in the middle of the night if you're a married congressman.

Vito has always been a big advocate for allowing the Ten Commandments to be posted in government buildings. I suspect he may have broken a couple of those commandments.

Vito votes YES on Constitutional Amendment banning same-sex marriage but no on constitutional amendment banning illegitimate children during marriage.