Wonkette
This saucy minx is Becky Miller, the mayor of Carrollton, Texas, a Dallas suburb with 116,000 wonderful inhabitants. According to herself, she has dated and sung with all sorts of popular musicians from the 1970s, and her brother once died in Vietnam. But perhaps her crowning achievement is that she made all of this stuff up.
Becky Miller is the first female mayor of Carrollton, and that's perhaps the only true thing about her. Here's a list of her terrible lies, which are now being exposed by her opponent in an upcoming mayoral election:
- She tells people she was engaged to Don Henley, frontman for the "westerny" '70s rock band, the Eagles. Why this would be anything to brag about, we don't know. But according to an Eagles spokesman, Henley has "never heard of her, doesn't know her, certainly was never engaged to her." Maybe he was on drugs, because that is what Rock Stars do.
- She claims to have sung backup for Linda Ronstadt and Jackson Browne. Ooh, aren't you cool. Spokesmen for Browne and Ronstadt, as well as Miller's entire family, say this never happened. Miller hilariously claims that she went by other names — including "Pinky" — and that may be the source of the confusion. But she won't tell reporters what those other names were, because they were either really embarrassing or she's just making shit up.
- She claims she used to attend Western Kentucky University. She didn't do this at all.
- She says her brother died in Vietnam. Her father says that her brother never served in the military or died, what with him STILL BEING ALIVE. Miller — no joke — says her father has Alzheimer's and doesn't know what he's talking about, because she has a secret other brother who did die.
She and Hillary Clinton share not only a penchant for lying, but a 0% chance of becoming the next president as well.
Texas mayor's colorful past called into question [AP]
Comments
YA BUT did she take on sniper fire?
i don't think don henley is good enough for pinky miller.
Are people this dumb? Can Barack make stuff up?
...'cause George Baily sold him his house, he was married by Billy Graham and angles baptized his children.
I notice her pants are not in this photo. Probably because THEY'RE ON FIRE.
"I am the Lindbergh Baby!"
Hey, I've been in Carrolton. It's a made-up town. She's the perfect mayor for it.
"Becky Miller is the first female mayor of Carrollton, and that's perhaps the only true thing about her."
And I've got my doubts about that, too.
Dugg for chutzpah. Wait, wrong site.
She's telling so many lies but can't admit that I'm her and Don Henley's love child. That makes me sad.
Pinky? OMFG! Pinky Tuscadero!
[www.jukeboxcruisers.com]
I always wondered what become of Pinky Tuskadero after "Happy Days".
@sezme: +1
that's not my belly button..
and that's not my pinky!
Will someone please turn off her hair!
She is divalicious. I fear her, but I also kind of want to be her.
They have universities in Kentucky?
and Travis Childers said nothing.
Who the fuck would elected a person with hair like that?
Oh, shit. I forgot. This is in Texas.
The good news is that she can be Attorney General under George W. Bush.
Becky Miller > Shelly Sekula Gibbs
I always wondered why certain women dye their hair that color. It. Looks. Horrdenous.
I think the only people who thinks it look good are the women who also dye it the same color.
WAIT. She did invent Post-It Notes, right? Right?
She is also Deep Throat and that ghost in Three Men and a Baby.
Three former Carrollton council members and one current member said Miller told them she was once engaged to Henley. Larry Solters, a spokesman for Henley and the Eagles, said the musician has "never heard of her, doesn't know her, certainly was never engaged to her."
In an e-mail to the newspaper, Miller wrote: "I have never said that I was engaged to Don Henley. I dated him."
She went on to say "'dating' in our culture can take many forms. For some it involves physical interaction; for others, it can involve one person gazing at the image of the other while alone at home, surrounded by several dozen cats." She declined to give the name of any of these cats.
Turn up the Eagles, the neighbors are listening.
WAIT. PLEASE tell me that was her in my room last night with a bag over her head... cause then somebody else totally saw me naked.
(Triple points for anyone who gets that.)
Why would she make all that up when she could brag about calling the Fonz by his Christian name?
O AN SHE SEXY.
@The Real JR:
+ Watch video
@The Real JR: Nope, it was liquid paper, and she's totally the mom of that guy in the Monkees--you know, the one would could play an instrument.
Also:
Her poop is used as currency in Argentina.
She once breast-fed a flamingo back to health.
She once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road.
She date raped David Bowie.
She uses the Shroud of Turin as a golf towel.
She framed Roger Rabbit.
...GEEZ! If you are gonna lie then you gotta REALLY fukkin lie. Don't come with this weak shit! If she is gonna claim she screwed a rock star then she should have said she fukked Kid Rock, (it's not like he would remember all the women he boned). If she was gonna say her brother died then he should have said he died fighting to destroy a Nazi time machine. And finally if she going to be part of band she should have said she was the sixth Spice girl.
"Dated" can also mean, "Anonymous blowjob backstage."
Liar, liar, your hair's on fire...! It certainly looks like it.
the voice of mrs. krabappel????
[www.imdb.com]
@Harvey Birdman: whatever happened to Leather Tuscadero?
The whole council of this little burg are an attractive bunch:
[www.cityofcarrollton.com]
From the AP:
"Branson said he is most upset by Miller's claim that she had a brother who died in war. Miller's father, Edward Sampson, told the newspaper that his son is alive and never served in the military."
Yeah...I'd say that sounds a little Repub-sih.
@Rev. Peter Lemonjello: Oh whatev. Who hasn't date raped David Bowie?
@Harvey Birdman: WELL DONE.
Btw, I just saw Redbelt last night...
BEST.
MOVIE.
EVER.
She might not have attended WKU, but she could certainly portray the mascot. Sans costuming.
@Rob_Peter_to_Pay_Paultard:
WOW. That is awesome. Might have to became my new desktop wallpaper.
You people are being awfully cruel to the first woman who ever set foot on the moon, although it was on the very secret Apollo 11 1/2 mission.
@Dave J.: This is like The Supreme Court of Denny's.
@SayItWithWookies: Are you implying she's a trannie?
I invented the phrase "recockulous."
It's true. It's on my curriculum vitae.
@Rev. Peter Lemonjello: You forgot to mention, she also let the dogs out...
@The Real JR: It honestly is the whitest group of people I have EVER seen.
@Dave J.: She even lied about the fucking picture she appears to be in, that's actually Mark Summers.
@Dave J.: Clearly that guy in the back, second from the right, is the rebel... the loner... the wildcard.
Please to notice the rebellious facial hair, and the haircut outside of custom and dignity. Yes, his hair is the only different one out of the males of this pictured species. It's insane.
Apparently the line between "mayor of Carrollton" and "cashier at my dentist's office" is a thin one.
She was also America's first female president back in 1974. It's amazing that Hillary and her supporters totally blow that off like it didn't happen.
@The Real JR: No doubt. In the back row, far right, far left, and second from left could be son, father, grandfather. It's somewhat scary.
@Dave J.:
no, no, no, no, no
no, no, no, no
@Dave J.: You're so right.
And father and grandfather trade suits every other day... cause they can.
C@Dave J.: The sad thing is that it could be the Chamber of Commerce and/or the Rotary Club in any small town anywhere in the Western Hemisphere. There's a breed of small town ugly that just gravitates to those institutions like moths to the candle flame.
@The Real JR: I'm quite certain that everyone else on the council thinks the guy with facial hair is the gayest guy they ever met. Solely because of his facial hair.
@AngryBlakGuy: Apparently Don Henley, during the 70s, maybe even the 80s, was one fucked-up cokehead - he probably wouldn't remember boning a 100 pound sturgeon with Glen Frey's weiner over that period.
One time she round-house kicked Chuck Norris and he landed on Mars.
I'm sorry, why do we care about her?
@The Real JR: "SCOD" ha!
@graceless: Care? No. Mock? Yes.
@econdave: Upon further reflection, probably not -- I have seen women like her before. But usually they've got a booth at a flea market where they sell decorated pie tins.
Apparently, she took this series a little too personally.
This can't be true! I mean, name one other person from Texas who is an habitual liar.
I was raised in them towns out on that prairie. Rules of evidence are a little different in Texas. There is the classic grand theft case in which the opening remarks of the DA to the jury are running along - "... and we have four witnesses who observed the suspect taking the toilet out the back door of Dew Drop Inn ... " - and the defendant jumps to his feet, "Oh, yeah? Well I have five witnesses who didn't see me steal no toilet!"
Hillary Clinton called - she wants her jackets back.
"Pinky" was Jack Ruby's nickname.
I always knew he didn't die in prison from some fast-ravaging cancer.
He just got a [really bad] sex change and moved down the road a piece to Carrollton and became Mayor. Didn't lose any weight, though... Not much of a makeover.
Just sayin'.
Is that the jacket Hillz wore when she took a bullet for MLK?
Becky Miller was also one of the mysterious hobos, along with Woody Harrelson's father and Chuck Colson, who collaborated with the CIA, the FBI, the Shadow Government, Cuba, the KGB, the Mafia, the Corleone Family, the Sopranos and Moe Greene to assassinate John F. Kennedy.
@edgydrifter: Thanks. That makes much more sense.
@SayItWithWookies: OMG, you are so right!
Miller said these questions are coming up just days before the election because Branson is desperate.
"He thinks ... this is the only way he can win this election," Miller said. "That infuriates me."
Hey, that's a good defense. It's plausible. Maybe she's telling the truth. Maybe she did rape The Eagles in Vietnam.
Who would claim to have attended Western Kentucky U who had not?
Divine's fashion influence lives on.
Hillz has a running mate! And a posse.
Truthfully now, If I saw Carrolton on a map I still would believe it is a made up town...wait she's running against Richard Branson from Virgin, or Branson, MO?
@Dave J.: The guy with the gray suit and red nose gets all the coochie...trust!
You all are looking at Dana Perino's replacement. She's perfect!
@thefrontpage: You left out the Illuminati. Other than that, you're spot on.
Which means you know too much.
Sorry.
KaPow!
@Dave J.: The other woman looks a bit shell-shocked. She probably mistakenly married one of the other councilmembers while on a Campari binge in Branson, Missouri. I'm guessing second from the left in the rear row is the lucky man - he looks far too smug.
@BULVERDESPUDBOY: Oh, yes - a friend teaches at Eastern Kentucky University, where apparently it's a few steps up the academic ladder in terms of the types of students you get from anything in, say, West Virginia - who knew?
But given the meth problem, good luck finding any students with teeth.
Is she by any chance advising the Clinton campaign?