Wonkette
Our last, best hope for Washington — that it would be destroyed by the horrible emergence of subterranean monstrosities — came tantalizingly close to reality on Tuesday, when a magnitude 2.0 earthquake shook the D.C. area. What was it, and why is the government claiming and then denying responsibility for the loud booms from Beneath the Earth?
The shaking was felt in Vienna, Falls Church, Silver Spring and Bethesda, and the U.S. Geological Survey reported the epicenter as being in Annandale.
East Coast quakes are rare but not unheard of; the last one hit D.C. in 2003. What's strange is the "loud boom" many Northern Virginia people reported hearing along with the shaking, and the conflicting reports from the Army's Fort Belvoir, 15 miles south of the quake's location.
According to WTOP, Army spokespeople told the radio station "the rumblings were part of underground construction blasts at the base."
Ft. Belvoir officials said the construction work scheduled for 4:15 p.m. Tuesday began earlier than expected.
They later told WTOP the blasts did not occur and are still scheduled for later in the afternoon.
The blasts are part of the construction at Ft. Belvoir for the new National Geospatial Intelligence Agency.
The National Geospatial Intelligence Agency is tasked with fighting space wars against alien monsters.
Comments
They're just preparing the underground fortress from which Bush/Cheney will declare martial law and rule for the rest of our lives. Move along now, nothing to see here.
I have a hollow-earther friend (oddly, he's not a Ron Paul supporter) who is presumably In The Know about this. I believe winged men should fly out of a cave next, by his logic, but I'll have to check on that one.
Didn't Jenna Bush return from her honeymoon today? That loud rumble was Jenna landing on the tarmac. Or maybe her stomach.
See what happens when the Today show is let into the Cheney lair?
Nothing happened. You did not feel or see anything. Sleep now.
It's Mole people.
"There is no escape from the fortress of the Moles!"
It was probably all the layers of pancake makeup that Lynne Cheney's been smearing on all these years. One loud crack, an ensuing avalanche, and hey presto! Cindy McCain!
Wait-
BREAKING: Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man seen at the Washington Mall!!
Geospatial intelligence is useless against an alien invasion, but modelling and mapping the earth is useful for sending out robot armies to quell rioting and enforce martial law.
I was in the bank in Woodley Park yesterday at ~1:30 and everyone felt it. Everyone thought the Metro station collapsed...
However, given the proximity to Cheney's lair on Mass Ave, I'm going with Cheney's army of Orcs and Uruk-hai rumbling towards the Capitol
If Washington crumbles, what will Obama have left to run against?
Or for?
@ManchuCandidate: Thank god, I thought it might be the Clay People.
[flashgordon.ws]
Maybe Dick Cheney just received his first enema.
Many miles away
something crawls to the surface
of a dark
Potomac baaaaaaaay...
...that boom you just heard was the sound of the Clinton campaign falling out of the sky and smashing into the ground at near sonic velocity!
Finally W's obsession with blowing big holes in the earth hit black gold, Texas T. The White House will be moved to the dry gulch in Crawford, Texas. Oh yeah, now they'll start building a border! You thought the polygamist compound was something. Just wait for the Bush/Clinton/Bush/Clinton Compound.
Oh, great -- Dubya's decided he's going to fix the earth's tectonic plates. East coast subsumed into the mantle in 5...4...3...
Now that's what I call a 7 Diamond Whore!
Tokyo got hit with a 6.8 today too.
Why didn't I feel anyhing? I work in Fairfax, which is basically Vienna. Confused.
Now that's what I call a 7 Diamond Whore!
@Advocatus_Diaboli: stupid internets - sorry for the dupe.
A Magnitude 2.0
Was god only a little miffed, not boiling mad, at the gays in Washington?
You buried the lede on this one, Ken - as a West Coast resident, you know 2.0's aren't much more than gnat farts. The sinister underground explosions from the UFO-battling Pentagon's the story here -- and might've earned some hits and comments from Paultards.
While I am sure that Cheney is behind this....
Come on. A 2.0? Hell, Limbaugh causes more shaking every time he lets off one of his room clearing plumes of flatuence.
That "boom" was the sound of Hillary's ankles breaking. The veterinarians have been called.
D.C. folks are punks.
Here in NYC, a 2.0 is called a passing A train.
@Whattheheck: God was tired from punishing gays with the cyclone.
No worries, they're just expanding the living quarters for the giant sand worms under DC that supply Cheney with his Spice.
Just one more in the long list of signs that Barry is in fact the AntiChrist, coming to unify the world one last time before things end for good.
@Harbls: Agreed! Everyone knows that if you don't have to crawl out of the rubble of your third floor condo, into the underground parking garage, it was NOT an earthquake! Man-up over there, and call us when you get at LESAT a 4.0!
@masterdebater:
"LEAST"...jeeze, type slower=better joke, gotta remember that!
God hates white men and Stephanie Tubbs Jones.
Everybody calm down. It was just Hillary stomping her feet.
After being caught in that 8.0 in Peru all those years back, I just thought this was someone dropping something...
Probably doesnt help that I work at NGA, huh?
There's is nothing to fear but mighty Cthulhu himself.
This may have been covered in an old episode of Wonder Woman;
The Brady Bunch Dad acts with some kind of accent, steals a formula for generating earthquakes, gets exposed to the bubonic plague and then he rings a secret Maryland laboratory with explosives, so that an experimental reactor would melt down and destroy Washington.
Thankfully, the boss from I Dream of Jeanie was an expert in all sciences, so with Wonder Woman's help (she's a wiz at math), they were able to save the day.
(Don't blame me. My kids just watched this episode, last week)
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