Wonkette

Definitely photoshopped. Bill's face was way redder last night.

Math is hard! You've come a long way baby.

"I did not have sexual relations with that lifeless presidential campaign."

Is that a Valium she's got on her necklace?

...all 3 of them on a single stage at one time?! Talk about an opportunity lost!!!

her expression is so clearly: "Fuck the math. Fuck Obama. I am going to win this no matter what, even if it means someone has to die."

Chelsea's got the Stepford daughter down pat.

...HaHa, where is your clapping and pointing God now!?!?!

I just see Bill, Hillary and John Kerry...

...John Kerry is the daughter? I'm confused.

It's 3 a.m. and you've lost the primary election.

And MSNBC has a jazz band on.

she is not going to throw her lot in with the mathematicians, or the economists, or the scientists, or any other dadgum egghead

I'm already starting to like them again.

Also- dang, Chelsea!

I believe she's thinking, "Wow! I'm gonna lose. This would probably hurt a lot more if I hadn't sold my soul to that guy."

Chelsea is going to be the new Breck Girl, since John Edwards isn't around.

Only a matter of time before Chelsea must return to her job shaking down Dad's Saudi patrons for her Wall Street bosses.

It's from where Mom gets her touch with America's working class.

at 3AM she frinally received the call and shot the messenger. game. set. match.

Thought Bubbles:
Chelsea: I love you mom.
Bill: Yes yes yes yes yes no yes maybe yes yes yes...
Hils: My life's ambition is destroyed and Bill's checking out my supporters. God I need that Oxy now!

@StoneSoup: Dude, she just won the Kentucky Derby. Give her time before she heads back to work.

Poor Bill. All the little dying kids in Africa he's trying to save hate him now. O-ba-ma, bumaye!

She may have won Indiana by the hair on her third testicle, but she knows that unless she pulls shenanigans with Michigan and Florida the jig is up. Surrender!

At least the North Carolina and Indiana campaigns gave Bill some good leads on trailer parks in which he can drag those 100 dollar bills -- for those lonely nights he has ahead of him.

The nomination was supposed to be payback for the humiliation he wrought on Hillary for the Monica deal. Guess she'll have to be satisfied with a dozen roses.

She's obviously stolen that "I just pooped my panties" look from Walnuts.

I hear Carville was so despondent after last night's results, he tried to console himself by binging on at least a half dozen eggs in a nearby sparrow's nest.

Hey everyone! Head on over to WaPo! Karl Rove is doing a Q&A at 11 EST. Submit your most hateful questions now.

Hilary looks like she's wearing a flesh-colored phantom of the opera mask.

Was that the sound of Hillary's ankles breaking I just heard??

All she is now is a Senator from NY with about $60m in the bank. Loser.

So I guess this means we're not going to be destroying OPEC now?

@SayItWithWookies:
It's a cyanide capsule.

@Johnny Zhivago's Cat: ftw

Chuck Todd looks like an adorable little mouse. I always wait for him to wrinkle up his nose.

Andrea Mitchell kind of looks like a rodent too, but it isn't as cute on her.

...I just listened to some of her speech from last night; where the hell do they get these obsessed psychos that are all whipped into a froth about her decomposing campaign? These people are truly frightening!

@SayItWithWookies:
Pearl necklace? I know...I couldn't help myself.

I'd like to see the whole thing end too.

However, my cynical side (y'all who are under 40 will eventually get one)is still wondering if Barry can REALLY take a punch.

Those R 527's are already salivating over some of the stupid (politically) crap that come out.

Yes, JSM has said his share of stupid things, and Bill can't keep his zipper up. Hill's got her own set of issues. But they are all going to go out (and maybe down) punching back.

With latent bigotry alive and well, it's not going to take much from the mouth of Michelle (could she have said anything dumber in the middle of a political campaign?) and the Rev to turn BHO into another Mike Dukakis.

I hope I'm wrong. I see a light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm hoping it's not a train ready to mow us over with a third "W" term.

"Bill... call the Kazakhs."

@marSF:
I just submitted this one:

Mr. Rove, do you prefer chicken blood or baby blood?

I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

@fuzzybutts: should read "that has come out."

Fuzzy: I hope that your Depends are soaking up the urine expended while writing that post.

@AngryBlakGuy: That is a mystery, isn't it? You would expect puzzled silence after her claim that she is on the way to the White House, but, no, they just chant right along.

@marSF: In connection with the Siegelman prosecution, Dana Jill Simpson testified that "I knew from conversations that I had had with Rob [Riley[ that Bill Canary was very connected to Karl Rove. Additionally, there was some talk -- and that's not in my affidavit -- about Karl had -- about Washington; that Karl had it taken care of in Washington."

So, is Simpson lying?

@NoWireHangers: Be serious. The 'unless' in your comment explains why she has no intention of calling it a day anytime soon.

@PeeJay: Wow...it's amazing how one short comment can make me go from feeling like a clever post-graduate with a computer to a toothless cackling peasant watching a medieval execution.

Well done.

@AngryBlakGuy: They all look very... Let me just put it this way. My aunt did a lot of coke and smoked a lot of weed while pregnant with my cousins. They didn't turn out completely "right". The people behind her while she spoke last night looked a lot like my cousins.

And how cute was it that Chelsea will still wear matching clothes with her parents. 28, going on 11.

I guess the silver lining is that Bill's attempts to exploit the racial divide for political gain, which he sorta ad libbed cuz he thinks he's so f**kin' brilliant, will forever sully him within his own party's ranks. But that's what the Clinton Family Slush Foundation is for, to buy it back.

I don't dislike Hillary in general, just when she's pulling the bullsh*t faux right wing, fake populism, triangulation crap.

If she hadn't been about that, I'd be a very strong supporter. But that's what she chose to do.

I'm still disturbed by the fact that Hillary beat him in Indiana which is next door to his home state of Illinois despite the momentum on his side.

That does not portend well for November.

Democrat ain't gonna win Indiana no how.

@norbizness: Charming. I'm so happy we're leaving the world in your capable hands.

Oh, I forgot! Under-employed 20 somethings know it ALL and couldn't possible learn a damned thing. I had to fire three of you last week. Hope your boss is as smart.

@TEAM HEIDI: Thank you. I will now wait for one of the children to make a remark about your age, continence and the like. It really elevates the discussion.

@RuperttheBear Αλφα και το Ω: Excellent question but I believe The Bloated One is making his appearance to offer his sage comments on the North Carolina and Indiana results. I asked question that went sort of like "how much lower can McCain sink now that he has you working as an "informal" advisor to his campaign?". I signed off with a "Please go away". Sadly my wrath will just end up giving him an erection.

i said it last night and i'll say it again:

spray tan, spray tan, spray tan!

@fuzzybutts: Is it true we all get free ponies if Obama is elected president? I'd settle for that.

@FloraWay:

i noticed that too--talk about slack jawed yokels...

I love Chuck Todd. He's been saying for a month on MSNBC that this thing is over with charts and sharpies and as soon as he's done everyone starts blathering for hours about how it's still open to question.

@TEAM HEIDI: A few reasons:

1. It was an open primary. I know Hoosier Republicans. They would vote for Clinton no matter how much they hate her just so they can get the weaker candidiate.

2. Evan Bayh is loved in that state and he's a big Clinton supporter.

3. Indiana is a very different state from Illinois. Just look up the history of the KKK in Indiana...

@magneticfields: I'm hoping that Dean Scream will castrate her nomination dreams before it comes to that. Her balls, like the clothing worn in the Sears family portrait above, will be blue.

It looks like Jezebel, the old whites and the embittered proles are tapped out. Hillary ought to ask Rush Limbaugh and the MSM if they'd care to cough up a few bucks to keep this thing going a bit longer.

@TEAM HEIDI:

Only if you are sufficiently enthralled and hopeful. You know, like the little kid who got a load of manure and figured there had to be one in there somewhere?

I don't hate BHO. I don't love HRC. I just want a candidate who can BEAT the damned R machine, and if that requires being tougher than they are than I'm all for it.

Fuzzy: The only responsible electoral strategy, apparently, is to get really really nervous and scream "Not in the face! Not in the face!" when confronted by a geriatric GOP candidate promising a century of war and joined at the hip with the most unpopular President in history.

And you call THESE curly fries? Get me the manager! You ARE the manager?

Chelsea's only First Kid hot ... put her anonymously in a mall and you'd walk by without a thought.

Bill should get together with Richard Hamilton and see who has the bronzer bronze.

@Cape Clod: last night Keith said hoe the entire world is watching MSNBC for their outstanding math skill and gave Chuck a big wet kiss. "everyone knows you, Chuck, no introduction needed!". Is Chuck married?

...c'mon guys, anyone who thinks John McCain can win in November has been listening to Pat Buchanan and Joe Scarborough to much. Walnuts cant even pull away in national polls with Hillary doing all of his dirty work and absolutely NO MEDIA ATTENTION on all of his weaknesses. There has been twice(and in some case 3) times as many people voting in the Democratic races than in the republican races(and this is before Pennsylvania). If you go by turnout in each state then Walnuts would lose in a landslide. Once all the bomb throwing from the Clinton campaign stops you will see how quickly McCain's campaign takes a nose dive.

@fuzzybutts: The 527s can run coded or openly racist attack ads. However, even Rove himself warned the GOP a couple of months ago that it's a suicidal strategy. They'd essentially burn money preaching to the converted about how terrible things will be if a black man is elected while making the GOP and KKK indistinguishable in eyes of Independents, Democrats and any Republicans who have some critical faculties intact after the last eight years.

@AngryBlakGuy: Insane McCain may gain mainly in the Plains.

The family sure looks red, white and blue.

I find Bill and Chelsea's synchronized, identical-in-every-way clapping a little creepy.

And, of course, Hillary's cylon death stare.

But her necklace is pretty!

Nice second-place effort Eight Belles Hillary.

Now you know what needs to happen...this won't hurt a bit...

@AngryBlakGuy: From your mouth to the voters ears. I really hope you're right.

@norbizness: Hey, kid, go wash my Carrera while I take this call from London.

To paraphrase Kathy Bates--I know, you have no idea who she is, being that she's a woman over 40, and therefore less than human--Face it, kid. I'm older and I have more money. And in the end, the one with the most sh*t wins.

@baxterthepug: Yep she does. Also Chelsea deigned to wear the pass bracelet... unless she got that from the local gay pub crawl...

@fuzzybutts: To paraphrase Barack Obama: I'm younger, better looking, smarter AND I have more money. But you can still vote for McCain if you are a bitter old cruster. That's your choice!

Whatsherface on the left is lookin prity! I'd vote for her. Not so much her crazy, nagging, screetching mother.

I think that Hillary just wanted to prove that as the first woman to make a serious run at the nomination she is not a quitter. And when so many people are working so hard on your campaign it is not easy to quit. Now she can bow out gracefully. HAH HAH. NOT! She is gonna run this thing all the way to the convention and turn Obama from proud contender to dribbling idiot. Shame on her!

@fuzzybutts: To quote Bill Kristol of all people: "If in 1988 Ronald Reagan had had a 30 percent job approval rating, and 80 percent of the voters had thought we were on the wrong track, Dukakis would have won."

@sashimi: Kieth and Rachael Maddow are the only one worth watching in the entire cable news industry.

@Gregory_of_Nazianzus:

And as I said before, I hope you're right. I really do. I also hope BHO toughens up a little.

Politically, we live in the margins. Unless there is a sea change, we're always going to have 40% on one side, and 40% on the other. We're always fighting over that middle 20%.

You true believers might not like it. You might wish it were otherwise. There is always going to be compromise in politics, it's the only way things get done.

Those in that middle 20% are going to give BHO a chance--but he's going to have to speak to THEM andTHEIR values and concerns. It doesn't matter whether you think those people are irrelevant or not. They ARE because they vote.

While those of you on your smarter than thou high horse (I used to BE you) might think your vote should be more important and count for "more," but it doesn't.

So, wake up and smell the coffee. You want to po all of Hill's supporters because you think they're menopausal and remind you of Mom? Fine. Go ahead. I hope you enjoy the 44th President, John McCain.

If Hill's people don't vote at all in November, Barry ain't got a hope in h#ll. So, occassionally, you might want to think before you open your mouths or touch your keyboards. Sarcasm and ridicule are effective tools, but sometimes you get further by looking for things you agree on than things you don't.

I mean Keith, moron.