INDIANA FREAKOUT: Liveblogging the Indiana Vote
Oh man, the polls are already closed in Indiana? What time zone are they on over there, 1952? Anyway, we've already learned that Obama's got a double-digit win in North Carolina (doesn't count because of blacks) and Hillary had a four-point lead in the Indiana polls, blah blah, he's still handily winning as far as those delegates. Let's see what the teevee tells us is the truth!
6: 04 PM -- We were pretty sure polls closed at 7:30 p.m. or something in Indiana. But we are wrong. We haven't had our dinner yet.
6: 05 PM -- Ha ha, Hotty McSuzanne Malveaux just talked about the "blue class voters" of Indiana. No wonder the time zone is so weird.
6: 06 PM -- Exit poll, here we go ... oh no not really, they are just talking about the exit polls nobody really cares about: issues, blah blah.
6: 07 PM -- By "nobody" we mean "the lunatics who only want the vote numbers."
6: 08 PM -- AH HAH SO WE WERE RIGHT. There are some Indiana polls still open. This is why there are no numbers until 7 p.m., just like we always knew, in our hearts. God DAMN America, we are going to run out and get tacos.
6: 11 PM -- Nothing like hearing election results described in terms of "slave areas," which is what the Charts Guy just did on CNN.
6: 13 PM -- Howard Dean's on MSNBC. What will he say?
6: 13 PM -- He will not exactly say that Hillary invents delegate numbers.
6: 13 PM -- And he's not going to do what Hillary wants, because obviously Obama's campaign would have to agree with it, and they are not going to agree to be ruined.
6: 14 PM -- Tacos, now!
(Newell, you want to start the next one when you're done with whatever racist thing you do on an x-Box?)
6: 45 PM -- Yes he does: Here is the New Liveblogging.