Wonkette
For some reason, Laura Bush decided to be president today and gave a press conference attacking the Burmese government for the way it handled the cyclone that has killed upwards of 10,000 citizens. Laura Bush said, "Although they were aware of the threat, Burma's state-run media failed to issue a timely warning to citizens in the storm's path." How would the Bush administration have handled a large natural disaster, however?
Had the Bush administration — hypothetically — been dealing with a major natural disaster about to ravage the United States, numerous warnings would have been released in strong terms from the President himself, to underscore the severity of the situation. And if the President's efforts weren't effective enough before the storm, immediately afterwards he would've been devoting himself 24/7 towards managing the relief efforts, even if the citizens were very poor. This is how the Bush-led government would've handled the post-natural disaster situation if it had happened in the United States.
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Of course Bushco would've handled a natural disaster so much more efficiently, so much more quickly, so much more effectively, than some Fourth World Backwater Shithole Dictatorship. Provided, of course, that they could pull themselves away from a circle jerk-slash-group reading of Dubya's favorite tome, "The Gas We Pass."
Sure, go ahead an beat up on Laura, its all her fault, THAT CUNT !!
WHOOPS (wrong first lady...)
Than Shwe-ey, you're doin' a heck of a job.
Bush would have bravely played an acoustic guitar in Florida after hearing the news. Understanding that the constituents are brown and probably didn't vote for him, he would take the role as leader and leave them all to die. However, FEMA would act with quickness, sipping at a tall cocktail and watching the devestation unfold on teh CNN. In three very short months, people would be removed from their roofs and put into a beautiful dome-like structure, to be harvested. After all this would be readily handled, the insurance companies would take their bold and honest role of raping the brown people of the money the companies say was unjustifiably paid... but Brad Pitt would come in at the end (just a few years later) to fix the very small holes remaining after the government's valiant and diligent efforts.
[www.goroadachi.com]
Don't the General of the Junta know that the best way to stave off a catastrophe is to play a guitar?
[www.goroadachi.com]
Don't the General of the Junta know that the best way to stave off a catastrophe is to play a guitar?
When did our government become a kind of ironic post-modernist performance art?
thank goodness nothing like this HAS happened in the US!
Don't forget the part where the press conference got sidetracked they all chatted about Jenna's wedding, even as MSNBC was showing the destruction in a split screen:
[www.huffingtonpost.com]
@ManchuCandidate:
Stupid double posting dipshit.
:(
Her "issue" voice is freaky as hell. It's like Kathy Bates in Misery. Be afraid Myanmar/James Caan, when Laura is suddenly a fan - she may send her mother-in-law like she did the last time.
Laura Bush wouldn't last 2 days in Burma. They don't stock the quantities of Xanax, Seconal, Valium, Dilaudid, and other drugs she needs to get through the day.
@ProblemWithCaring: I wondered why Laura didn't speak out on issues more. Now I remember: because she sounds like Lurleen Lumpkin.
@jagorev: This is insane. Am I on drugs? I can't tell anymore.
No, no... you've got it all wrong. President Bush totally led Katrina rescue efforts and saved many lives by himself. I mean, just check out this photograph of Bush leading firefighters to a rescue zone. It's totally for real and not at all a case of some Whitehouse PR guy telling the president "OK, take off your coat and roll up your sleeves to make it look like you're actively engaged down here... and... what are those guys over there? Firefighters? Yeah, call them over here and let's see if we can get them in the picture... better yet let's get them to follow behind the president and make it look like he's leading them to some collapsed building where he thinks he may have heard a child's voice from beneath the rubble."
Laura's idea of disaster relief is bumming a cigarette from a Secret Service agent - and he has her brand.
Does having yet another Bush begin procreating qualify as a natural disaster?
@shortsshortsshorts: Beautiful! You are the new Kanye West!
yeah, that whole pot/kettle thing.
Look at the bunched up rainbow flag on the left of the pic. Proof that God was punishing the gays from Myanmar! As if we needed any more proof.
As the huricane (cyclone south of the equator) was pounding on to land, was McCain having Birthday cake with the Junta Leaders?
Heck of a job bushy--er, Laura.
When confronted with his abysmal performance post-Katrina, Bush (at a press conference in New Orleans attended by no locals) simply tried to blend into the lavender background.
[norbizness.com]
@ronaldpagan: I remember Mike Myers' reaction on the video... that was amazing and authentic.
I heard Laura is just looking for a Mandalay.
Hillary may have three testicles but Laura "Crushes bunnies skulls with her bare hands" Bush must have four if she has the guts to criticize anyone about disaster relief.
What's to criticize? The junta leaders have already announced that Trent Lott's house on the Irawaddy will be built back better than ever. That puts them about a month ahead of Dubya's schedule.
@shortsshortsshorts:
That Kanye-ism fueled at least a million Deadspin comments, too. It was like their version of McCain Was Alive in Ancient Times.
Laura Bush is a very nice children's liberry lady who probably wonders in a vague sort of way what the fuck happened to her life.
I think you are completely misinterpreting her words. Remember she's a Bushie
she didn't scold the Junta for not releasing the info in time for the people to adequately prepare, but for the Junta not allowing adequate time to cover their asses when the storm did hit.
They totally blew their "we told you so" defense
"Although they were aware of the threat, Burma's state-run media failed to issue a timely warning to citizens in the storm's path," Bush said in an unusual appearance at the White House briefing room podium. "We would like to congratulate Burma;s government for holding to the same high standards as our own country. Heckofajob Little Burmies. Heckofajob."
Katrina is soooo 2005 people.
@capitol-hillbilly: You took the words right out of my mouth.
When pressed, Mrs Bush announced that the US plans to send a special envoy to help facilitate relief efforts:
+ Watch video
As per Laura, 100,000 units of OxyContin and Viagra are being air-dropped right now. She's got a wedding to think of!
@NorthsideSwede: Maybe, but Formaldehyde FEMA trailers are having the Best Week Ever.
[www.google.com]
since her guest stint as a morning chat show hostessette, laura feels she's taken on new relevance.
I've just realised - does this mean that Burma is a haven of homosexuality?
In which case, that'll learn 'em! Way to go vengeful and angry God!
Laura Bush has always been administration point-person for Burma policy. She's gearing up for her senate campaign. Hey Laura, watch out for snipers! Talk to Hillary 'bout that.
This is the difference between teh liburals and teh conservos... Liberals are stuck thinking about Hurricane Katrina ... Conservatives are thinking ahead to the next disaster...
@Eac_o_System: Terrorism. Definitely terrorism.
Heck of a job, Jenna! Let's git you married now!
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