Wonkette

She went...Back.

Could the ladies here explain the appeal of this guy? I know I'm a het male and don't have an eye for this sort of thing, but this guy seems to score with some fine women and looks to me like the guy who carries out bags for old ladies at the local grocery store.

What's the deal here?

boobs....

oh, what? Sorry I was distracted.

She has some.

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@Canuckledragger: As a lady, I cannot explain it. I find him bland looking at best.

Could the gentlemen here explain the appeal of this Scarlett Johansson person? I'm a het male, but this woman seems to score with some fine-looking men and she looks to me like an over-the-hill porn actress who waits tables at the local Applebee's

What's the deal here?

@jagorev:
Ask John Kerry, he'd know.

@jagorev: have you seen Lost in Translation or Match Point?

@jagorev: I'm with ya, though of course speaking from another perspective. I glide over to Egotastic at times to see the latest star/let pics, and the current group is about the worst looking I've seen in many years. Boozy, skanky, just plain not very attractive.

@jagorev:..."she looks to me like an over-the-hill porn actress who waits tables at the local Applebee's."

Honestly, what more could you ever ask for?

I think, btw, that for every celebrity endorsement, the candidate should have a thousand votes subtracted from their totals. Why should anyone care what an actress/actor thinks?

@codfish: Maybe a currently working porn actress.

Barry dumped her after he heard her new album.

+ Watch video

Smart move, Barry!

Explanation of Scarlett's Appeal :

BOOBS, MELONS, FUNBAGS, TATA'S, HOO-HAAS,

In addition to a je n'say qua (for the elitist members of this board)

NO NO NO!!! Barry clearly dumped Scarlett and this Reynolds guy is just Scarlett's rebound.

No way no how would any woman give up the opportunity to be "First Mistress".

Then again after seeing what happened to Marilyn Monroe I am glad for Scarlett that she got out of it.

@jagorev: If this is skank, then as Geo.W.Boob would say: bring it on.
[images.hollywood.com]

Meh. And those Ray-Ban glasses are so 1989.

@Canuckledragger: As a lover of Barry's chocolate, and as a female, I haven't the slightest idea why some women find Ryan (What's his name?) appealing. Scarlett, you are one dumb bitch.

@jagorev: I'm with ya there. Yeah, she's got huge boobs, so what? The girl can't act her way out of a paper bag.

Woody Allen is trying to adopt Scarlett into his large family.

Scarlett said in a recent interview that she is a natural blonde but no way no how do her drapes match the carpet: just look at those roots. I am probably the last natural blonde left in America.

But Scarlett ought to win a special Oscar for each boob. Those things are for real.

I'd do her.

@knife: that lecherous old pig finally gave up having the young actresses play his girlfriends or wives. That was getting ridiculous. Scarlett told one interviewer that her nickname for Woody was "Mr. Sticky Fingers".

@Canuckledragger: Shoot, I'd throw one in him, and I don't even lean that way. Now that I think about it, I'd like to get in the middle of that sandwich.

She sure fills up a sweater. Those honkers are fine. Who wouldn't want to press up against those headlights?

@knife: And lock her up for 24 years in a dungeon he crafted by hand underneath his home and father 7 of her children.

Yes, I know. That was in bad taste.

She later denied the tryst, insisting, "I went home alone that night to my mom's house, but nobody cares about that. It was so embarrassing. I felt horrible about the way that portrayed Benicio Del Toro."

If it were rumored that I had had sex in an elevator with Scarlett Johansson, nobody would feel terrible about the damage to my reputation, either.

Actually it's a classic combo of large bazooms and pillow-like lips. *Super-size those for ya', mister?*

@audicityofhope:
Have you no shame to go with the hope?

Sounds like Benicio got the best deal. There are no pre-nups associated with elevator boinks.

After seeing her in Lost in Translation I thought her precocious dancing lips should have a show of their own. Aside from that she has a pretty face -- and who knows whether she can act -- if she's had a challenging role in her career I have yet to see it.
As far as a current events/politics wonk crush -- Lara Logan's pretty much my dream girl.

@audicityofhope: Best debut album for an actor since Leonard Nemoy's smash hit about Bilbo Baggins:

+ Watch video

@bitchincamaro: In her case, collagen has been a harsh mistress.

So she boinked Benicio 4 years ago? Was she, like, 12?

i'm a straight guy and i'd probably fuck benicio del toro in an elevator.

just sayin ...

@Gopherit: I don't think it is collagen. She has the same lips in pics of her as a young girl, plus she had them in Ghost World (great movie), when she was young and not really famous yet.

I'm an abs man. The appeal of the lovely bosoms has its limits, large though they be. Er, the limits, that is. Whatevs.

@guerilla-nation: 9 out of 10 straight men agree:

Benicio del Toro + Elevator = Destiny

There's only so many things one can do while standing in an elevator between floors. You can stare tensely at the LED panel as the numbers update, avoiding all human eye contact. You can peruse the elevator buttons as if they were ancient runes bearing ageless secrets. Or you can hike down your drawers and commence fucking the nearest hot stranger.

Personally I avail myself of the latter alternative whenever possible. Which so far has been...never.

@TEAM HEIDI: I'm a hetero female but her boobs are mesmerizing. They should have a holiday dedicated to them, to teach children in the future what real boobies look like.

@audicityofhope: She also has the horse face.

Is that picture from her new movie "Chelsea Clinton"?

Fake

Two boobs, a penis and a lousy record.

Sounds like a Sitcom to me...

She might not be Meryl Streep, but you have to give her credit for the quality of the movies she's appeared in. And the boobs, which are real. And spectacular.

@liquiddaddy: Blasphemy.

@tunamelt: her fiance Ryan Reynolds has man boobs almost as big as hers...his chest was pretty much the star of the movie Amityville Horror...they took every opportunity to show him with his shirt off.

Sadly Ryan said he wants to be taken seriously as an actor so he refuses to take his shirt off in any more movies.

I'm still waiting for the bisexual escapades with pizza Ryan promised years ago.

@TEAM HEIDI: Is it possible to take Van Wilder any more seriously? Maybe he can team up with Ashton Kutcher.

@PeeJay: Did you see Ryan Reynolds in Blade: Trinity? There is one scene where he is tied up (shirtless of course) to a cross beam with all his muscles bulging and the sweat dripping down his layers of abs. I hope that is what Scarlett has planned for their wedding night.

Anyone knocking the attractiveness of SarJo should be legally required to post a picture of something better. That would shut them up.

@Pop Socket: I rest my case:

[www.wallpapergate.com]

@jagorev: Yeah, I'm a male, and I'm with you. Nice boobs, ok, but she looks like a horse and acts like a retard. A retarded horse with nice boobs is still a retarded horse.

@God's Noitalinmo: I am sure that Mr. Reynolds is breathing a sigh of relief that he doesn't have to worry about losing his sweetheart to you!

@jagorev:

and then one time at band camp .....

I wish we could have Scarlett get together with Alyson for a "stolen" sex video..

@TEAM HEIDI: No doubt about that. I also won't get in the way of his relationship with Big Brown.

@ronaldpagan: By "nonexistent" I meant "ridiculously stringent." I meant a woman who would meet your standards is nonexistent. If a man tells me he doesn't find ScarJo or Michelle Obama hot, I am completely unsurprised when he gets caught tapping his foot in an airport bathroom the next day.

That's right, I just questioned all y'all's sexuality. What are you pansies gonna do about it?

This is very disturbing. I never thought this was the case before, but apparently I find horses incredibly attractive.

But, at least I don't think they can sing.

@ronaldpagan: They like their women skinnier, with rugged good-looks and... you know, dicks.

@ronaldpagan: I'm sure that she's a lovely person and whatnot, and tits, tits, tits, tits, etc. But once you get past the tits, there isn't much else... I mean, she doesn't look a little slack-jawed to you?

@God's Noitalinmo: She also has a husky voice like Kathleen Turner. Hopefully she won't turn into a heifer like Kathleen.

Still Scarlett has ruined every movie she is in. Most recently The Other Boleyn Sister where she mostly just pouted at camera. The director of that sci fi movie she was in told reporters that Scarlett ruined the whole $60 million production with her stone faced acting.

I take exception to the criticism of Miss Scarlett's acting. She can play any pair of breasts with absolute, unquestionable realism.

@God's Noitalinmo: Re: slack-jawed. You're just confusing "attractive" with wise, clever, capable, etc. Don't ever do that. I'm surprised your penis would allow it.

@nachoproblem: Hey, it's not my fault. She's always talking and "acting" in her special short bus way. I don't recall her ever showing her puppies, so she's left me with no choice but to judge her on wit and talent.

So we let these hunky Canadian actors come down here and steal our schlocky film acting jobs. What the deuce, now they're stealing our big-bosomed hot chicks too?!!

@God's Noitalinmo: You're right. The no puppy-showing is a problem. She needs to get on it right away.

"Dogs" and "b-OO-bs" are mans'-best-friends...according to H. Hefner.

I would do her in "a Jersey second"...then rest up a bit...then repeat - if Miss Johansson approved and sequentially "turned-over" - ad infinitum or a-la-R.I.P.

If you don't find Scarlett breath-takingly-attractive...you might-as-well buy yourself a cheap pair of rubber//boots and rent a field o' sheep ready for the f'n "fleecing"!!!...or simply acquire a(n) handful-o'-lard at the nearest Quicki-Mart(!)

(I got to get more sleep.)

Think of the babies that would be created by cross-breeding a high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production and boobage...