Wonkette

Why don't they just show thirty seconds of kittens tussling in a basket full of yarn balls, then say that Barack Obama approves of these kittens? Same tone and damn near same message.

Clearly Barry fears Hillary's flaccid man-balls.

I agree, this is a waste of money. More Barack, less robo-ad-drones.

Zzzzzzzz....

Give me "Hillary Clinton wants you to keep your herpes."

I don't know about the efficacy of the ad, but I feel like buying some Pepperidge Farm cookies.

It sickens me a little bit that part of the $350 I gave to Obama so far has been spent on this. Oh well, I hope it focus grouped well.

How dare he call the New York Times her home town paper? Everyone knows she's from Fort Wayleigh Durham.

How about an ad about what a gas tax holiday would really do? Just a simple, "Hey, this actually makes more money for gas companies and hurts govt. funding."

Is too far over voters' heads?

@AxmxZ: Hillary ate all the kittens. There are no more.

I think that all of his commercials in NC and IN should be video of him playing basketball. They have to include his high school basketball video in NC so that they can point out that he was #23. If people will believe that Hillary Clinton is from every state in the union, is a regular gal, and actually cares about people-- then they have to believe that Obama is Michael Jordan, right?

I don't understand why they didn't make an ad saying that the only economist she could find to ditto her gas tax holiday is a f-ing stooge from Shell?!! Seriously, there is *so* much to work with - why must they stick to pure feelings?

@FloraWay: Wouldn't it be freaking awesome if Michael Jordan endorsed him?

So what you're saying, Newell, is that there's no such thing as halfway crooks. And that Obama is, in fact, a shook one.

What a waste of my student-loan funded donation. He needs to grab her by the balls (she has those right?) and squeeze!

Oh, y'all are too mean. Barack's ads are sensible. They remind me of John Kerry's response to the swift-boaters. Oh, wait a minute...

Michael Jordan did endorse Obama. GREAT VIDEO:

+ Watch video

um, can I say that this isn't fighting. Washington nerds disagreeing is not fighting, so the press's question of anyone being "tough enough" is a fucking joke.

Michael Jordan did endorse Obama.
GREAT VIDEO:

+ Watch video

Where's the part when Hillary's face morphs into smirking G. W. Bush?

from the same producer:

+ Watch video

Interesting mix of Dreamgirls, Jennifer Hudson and a subtle reprimand for Hillary.

Um, is he saying that the first Gulf War should never have been waged? Because I'll bet my cankles that the opening shot is stock footage from circa 1992. How do I know? Check out the hair and, more importantly, the black sunglasses with fluorescent red arms. I went to junior high with about a million pairs of those sunglasses.

@FloraWay: Yea nigga - go back to what got you here and dance!

How about a video of those poor Iraqi school kids getting blown up with a cut away to Hillary doing the seal clap...too subtle?

@FerdBerfel said: Barack's ads are sensible. They remind me of John Kerry's response to the swift-boaters.

Or better yet, Kerry's response to the two ads that Bush ran, where he was called to the carpet for mistakenly telling a newspaper, a decade before he ran for President that he had supported the concept of a 50¢ increase in the gas tax; A vote that never happened or which he never proposed. Not to mention, how this ten year-old misremembering was lumped-in with a vote against a tax holiday and nine votes for a single 4.3¢ increase to imply support for eleven boosts to the gas tax.

No, withholding conditional or simply saying that "if it was done right" isn't nearly as good as spending million to explain your choice, especially in light of the electorate's stellar history on the subject.

@Magister:
Er... *conditional support* and *millions*, but you get the idea.

@masterdebater:

This may be the subtlety she's looking for...

[madhousewife.files.wordpress.com]

@shanob: Excellent vid, never saw it before.

@baldbaby: Across the state, North Carolinians are saying "New York City!?!" in the screeching drawl from the Pace Picante commercials.

He must be so tired.. I know he's running a clean campaign, but sheesh, amp it up a little. Hillz has had so much air time recently, it's bothersome. Obama shouldn't be complacent and try to rest on his mathematical laurels.
Grrr, I feel like I'm watching a goddamn Eagles game. For the love of god, don't break my heart!

Jesus Christ.

Barry OKerry candidate
for a
Barry ODukakis result
to ensure no
Barry OCarter administration.

God damn it! Hillary is walking around with huge swollen balls skimming the ground while Barry OKerry is lactating. Fuck.

@shanob: That ad was gay. And not the good, dick-sucking kind of gay.

Well, in fairness, it's Indiana. In-di-an-a. The roughest they ever get there is when they ask you to repeat the question. They no likee the angry blahk mahn. So Obama has to play it a little bit safe, while HRC rages on in her inimitable way.

He sure has a lot to work with, though. Clinton keeps saying the usual condescending shit that just turns people off. Especially Midwesterners.

@greatgooglymoogly: "Clinton keeps saying the usual condescending shit that just turns people off. Especially Midwesterners."

Oh, yea. Sure. Barry only won 12 out of 203 counties in Ohio and Missouri. He only won urban AA areas and suburban elite/college town areas. Lost Ohio by 10 points and won Missouri by less than 10,000 votes.

Oh, yea. Sure. Midwesterners love Barry and hate Hillary.

Fast forward to last Tuesday where Barry only won 7 out of 67 Pennsylvania counties. Yep, urban AA and suburbia elite and college town.

Barry OKerry = Barry ODukakis

@not-so-bright: Wow. You're right. Barry is in fact losing in the midwest... Tell me more about it? Can you tell me about Illinois, Minnesota etc? Or is the midwest defined by Pennsylvania and Ohio? The "rust belt?" Pwease kiddies. Ask FloraWay or a pair of shorts. You are terribly, terribly wrong. But I still find it amazing that Hillary can win every county in a state and still not come out with a mathematical landslide.

You have to recognize that her assfucking campaign stands two strands of a shit and should have died long, long ago.

"Obama Sucks at Fighting"
Maybe if it were, "Obama Fucks at Sighting"...SHIT! I'm starting to have dreams about this, and I wake up sad because the crazy smiling, hand gesturing, lying yapping woman is beating Barry up.

I want to hear him say "I love you too!", or "I love you back!", to the person in the crowd, and we get all hopeful, like, wow, he loves us. Now when he ends with "God Bless You and God Bless America", I get all wistful for the good old days when Obama loved me, us.

OMFG!!! Did everyone see the cover story in the National Enquirer on Obama's marriage!?! OVER!

@PentagonBookkeeper: It's comments like these that make me suspect that the vast majority of Obama voters - and I'm definitely in the suspect line-up here - are only doing it because that is as close as they will ever get to licking him.

@AxmxZ:
I deleted a disclaimer for posting something lame, so it's comforting to know that one or maybe more want to lick him too. A brown cow from the freezer is no substitute.

@AxmxZ: Who wants to lick behind his big ears? You do! Freak.
Carry on...

@amygdala1:
Make it work. Andre??

@PentagonBookkeeper: Hey, if I wanted to lick a frigid cow, {insert obligatory Hillary joke}.

@AxmxZ:
OOOOH, and your tongue would get stuck to her icy regions, which are everywhere, because she's the hometown girl from every grandfather's cottage on every lake in Amurka. MOOOO!

I'm thinking Obamaness will be in a nice cup of Cafe du Monde creamy coffee with drifts of powdered sugar on a hot beignet.

@TEAM HEIDI: I couldn't find it! Post it please? They better have called it OBAMA DRAMA. And it better be true, so I can have a chance with either of them.

Unfortunately, their marriage is probably as good as their sex life, since they are the two most husband/wife-material people alive. Boo.

@ronaldpagan: Given that they are still pretty young, wouldn't it be awesome if they had another kid while Barry was President? Nationwide mega-aws.

I like the idea of the NY Times being described as a "home town newspaper." Now, maybe I'm just a simple country lawyer, but when a presidential candidate's home town newspaper denounces him, waaaaaaal....

@AxmxZ: Dude, that'd win him FIVE elections, a High Court case and a pony.

@regisgoat: The New York Times is losing 3,000 readers a week and the loss is accelerating. But why read the NYT when you can get all your news on Wonkette?

@TEAM HEIDI:
But, how can that be?!! They have Adam Nagourney and Jeff Zeleny tolovingly hand-craft the first rough-draft of history.