Gritty Hillary Will Conquer Laws Of Math!

Even though she cannot win the Democratic presidential nomination by any definable numerical metric such as the popular vote, number of pledged delegates, states won, or amount of money raised, Hillary Clinton will prevail over Elitist Maths and Barack Obama. This is because every time she loses, she wins by saying that losers have to "fight on." And every time she wins, she also wins. So she will lose all the way to the Presidency, unless she wins all the way to the Presidency, and either way it doesn't matter because Big Oil will be paying our gasoline taxes and Rocky Balboa will be the Secretary of the Second Amendment. [ New Yorker ]