Wonkette
Just a few months ago, Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey were such great friends that rumors flew about their torrid lesbian affair. But now that Barack needs Oprah to reel in the votes of bitter Indiana housewives, Oprah's suddenly so busy that, according to one media analyst, "it might be easier to rearrange George Bush's schedule than Oprah Winfrey's schedule." Is Oprah really busier than America's laziest president, or are more sinister forces at play?
Everybody knows that Oprah made Barack popular, and in turn Barack made Oprah a pariah among all the sad white ladies who never realized the billionaire media empress and Giver of Cars was also black. Oprah has spent months repairing this damage to her reputation. This is why she will not campaign for Obama and instead he has to settle for endorsements from a white elitist New Jerseyite who wrote songs about being blown up in Vietnam for Ronald Reagan.
O, No: Winfrey a no-show [Politico]
Comments
That picture could come off as kind of nasty to someone with a dirty mind.
unfortunately, a recent viewing of the Futurama episode "A Pharaoh to Remember" has given Oprah some bad ideas in her head. [www.shaktronics.com]
P.S. Oprah secretly wishes she were as ubiquitous as Ira Glass seems to be on this site. I'M NOT FUCKING GETTING SHOWTIME, YOU STUPID ADS!
If Obama just uses The Secret, some positive affirmations and maybe -- what the hell's she into now? -- some meditation and dropping away his ego, Oprah will surely arrive. It's just the way believers make the Virgin Mary appear. Just none of that looking at the sun, please -- there are limits to batshit transcendence.
Oprah: You think it's pequeno...
Barry: But it's GIGENTE!
I've lost a lot of faith in Oprah as a business woman. How could she find it shocking that her Victimized Viewers are the same women as HRC's Victimized Voters? Bad business, Opes.
Actually, Women's Voices convinced Oprah she needed to already be registered to campaign for Obama [southernstudies.org]
My grandfather retired eleven years ago, and HE is busier than Bush.
Losing Oprah isn't a bad thing. Wait till Walnuts starts linking James Frey and Dr Phil to Oprah and to Senator Unicorn (TM SFL). A million easy hitjobs.
"Why won't Senator Unicorn condemn and leave Dr Phil?"
Actually, now that I think about it that would be the only reason I'd even have a hint of liking Walnuts.
Ballad of Obama and Oprah (ob-la-di-ob-la-da)
Barry has a boner for the preznit's race...
Oprah says I'll campaign for the man...
Barry says to Hill'ry "Girl, I got the ace"
And Hill'ry says this as she takes on all their fans...
O-ba-ma, o-ba-ma? Hate you, O- prah!...
Lala how your show is gone...
O-ba-ma, ob-a-ma? Hate you, O- prah!...
Lala how your show is gone.
Barry gets a free ride on the Internets
Gets a hundred million donations
Takes it back to Hill'ry at her TV set
And as he waves it at her she begins to sing
O-ba-ma, o-ba-ma? Hate you, O- prah!...
Lala how your show is gone...
O-ba-ma, ob-a-ma? Hate you, O- prah!...
Lala how your show is gone.
In a couple of months he has won the nomination
With a quality staff running for the hope
of President Obama
Happy ever after in White House place
Barry rules our Nation gleefully
Hill'ry stays at home and bakes her nasty cakes
And in the mornings she turns on her TV
O-ba-ma, o-ba-ma! Love you, Martha!
Lala how your show goes on.
O-ba-ma, o-ba-ma! Love you, Martha!
Lala how your show goes on.
We all know where Oprah is spending all of her time...
[www.cnn.com]
...riding snowmobiles and such.
I've never seen Ira Glass outside of these pervasive ads. But I've developed an overwhelming desire to punch him in his smug-looking face.
Oprah cannot admit to her viewers that the O-man "is not the one," even though she had a change of heart when she saw what her endorsement of him had done to her stock price.
The last time she had such a conundrum, it was with James Frey and left Harpo in "a million little pieces."
No redux without losing bux, which sux.
Also, she doesn't want the taint of Rev. Wright stinking up her studio. Why does Wright's taint smell so bad?
@FloraWay: What's so dirty about making a choo-choo train?
michelle told opey to back up off her hopey man, she probably had it arranged for oprah to get abducted by tommy girl and his alien friends. michelle is one badass woman, she doesn't play. if only she could get tommy to take hillary too...
Hillary threatened to teabag her.
At least when Oprah throws you under the bus, she buys it for you, first.
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