Wonkette

So, Douchey McFuckbag's (dis)approval rating is now the same as his GPA at Yale Law. Nope, no surprise here.

Still fully 29% of Americans are absolutely uncomprehending dickholes, apparently.

The glass WAS half empty, but it was mysteriously deleted from the White House email system.

What's Dick Cheney's approval rating?

That's worthy of some kind of award. I'm sure Keith Olbermann can come up with something to give to him.

At what number do we get to hang him? I thought by now we'd at least worked up enough points for a stoning. Waterboarding? Impeachment? I'd even settle for an old fashioned tar n' feathering'.

@norbizness: There must be at least one US state where that 29% can go fence themselves off from the rest of us and subsequently fuck off and die. How about North Dakota, does anyone in the 71% really want to live there? Let's vote on that in November.

What do you think would be the minimal disapproval rating at which citizens could be granted the right to tar and feather the fucker?

@NoWireHangers: Damn! That's what I get for commenting without reading what everyone else said first. Great minds think alike.

@Tits_LaRue: If Bush cured cancer, brought about world peace and ended domestic poverty, his disapproval rating would be 29%, same guys.

In my book 71% is a passing grade. So this means Jr. has succeeded at being the worst.

@AxmxZ: At least we know there's a consensus for angry vigilante justice. I think 60% is a fair rating, so long as the tar is good and hot.

If he still had that hottie in the picture, he might score a few more points. What? That's...well, I guess I wouldn't have cared if she killed one her ex-boyfriends, either! Yea, I'd have hit that. Hey, maybe that's it, to pick up a few points (you know, just to get back to Nixon numbers) he could have Laura slide out of Marine 1 "Britney style". Sorry about that, I owed you for that Barbra Walters image!

Poor bastard. I'm starting to feel sorry for him.
...
Oh, wait. Never mind.

@NoWireHangers: 60%! I guess at this point he's already earned himself a rail-ride as well. Any functioning freight trains left around the Capitol Hill?

My current disapproval rating for America for taking this long is 10,000%.

@masterdebater:
What did I every do to you? Too much nightmare fuel. I know I'm going to be chased by a hairy toothy vage and Baba Wawa in my sleep tonight.

The real story on the CNN page is the mayor of Arlington showing ta-tas. Check it. The town's p-o'd because she got nekked and the ball washers don't work at the local links. This is news, peoples.

The 29% who said they still like him thought the question was about "the bush," not "Bush."

Do the Bush grandchildren already make up for 29% of the population?

@queeraselvis: Actually, that's not a bad GPA considering he didn't go to Yale Law.

@AxmxZ: Um, being "ridden out of town on a rail" does not involve trains.

It involves a split log rail -- as in "split-rail fence," like this
-- upon which the (occasionally tarred and feathered) guest of honor is seated and vigorously carried to the outskirts of town, without regard to the comfort afforded to said honored guest's groinial region.

Hmmm....

John Yoo, your limo is here...

I wonder if that is the same pick up truck that Laura Bush used to run over and kill her first boyfriend in Midland, Texas (or maybe even the same intersection)!!!

@norbizness: Some of those dickholes are in my family. It seems to have something to do with the fear that somehow the Democrats will take away their guns and somehow invading Iraq is spreading democracy and revenge for 9/11. Oh, shit, my family is fucked up worse then I though.

@NoWireHangers: Fuck, I'd be happy to have him stand in front of the Washington Memorial for an hour so we can all come by and point and laugh. On second thought, this aint a fucking joke it's our goddamn future.

George W. Bush: Unsafe at any speed.

@disgustedcitizen: I also have family members in the fabled 29%. I think Bush would have to sodomize a goat while burning the flag on Deal or No Deal before they would turn against him. I'm just happy it's not genetic.

@CthuNHu: Live and learn. :)

@bitchincamaro: I thought birds stuck in trees were news.

. . . May all the world forget
You ever stood.
And may all the world regret
You did no good.
George Bush, you've been living hell to me . . .

@Tits_LaRue: And then can we make John McCain president of Bushistan and just tell him he's in the white house?

29%? Even a Terror Alert won't help him now.

He's the best at being the worst. Can't call him an all around under achiever.

Let's crunch some numbers.

20% of Americans think the sun revolves around the earth.
Add the richest 1% of the country. Subtract the few of those who have a conscience, and make up for the difference by adding the terrorists who are in over here celebrating the fall of the Great Satan.
Add the 8% of people polled who were just kidding.

Voila! Bush's formidable 29% approval rating!

@Jamie Sommers: *smacks forehead*

Lordy, I gave the man credit for far more brains than the average siamang. My bad.

[www.pollingreport.com]
In other news, Congress only gets 22% approval, so Bush is still one of the most popular guys in town.

This is probably ironic, but I can't figure out exactly why.

@ronaldpagan: McCain's old and forgetful, maybe his eyesight is failing, too... just send over the sets from 'The West Wing' or something; "Secret Service" (rent-a-cops) can rush him really fast in and out of "The White House" (a life-sized cardboard cutout) and the rest of the "foreign dignitaries" can be sent over from Central Casting.

@Tits_LaRue: Love it! And there he will sit, in North Dakota, cracking jokes all day to a press that never comes. He will brag about his accomplishments. "Those liberal cunts didn't want to re-invade Vietnam, but dadgum if I didn't make them!" He will be the happiest man alive.

Jim Newell,

I just knew he could do it! He faced some stiff competition from previous presidents. Now, his legacy is set!

Sincerely and respectfully,

Mr-Clark

@Mr-Clark:

Mr-Clark,

You are funny and entertaining a lot of the time. But do you realize that this is not your penpal correspondence with Jim Newell? Is this just a gimmick to make a name for yourself? (If so, word. My gimmick is limericks, so you can't have that, but one-act plays are up for grabs.) Are you a middleman transcribing Mr-Clark's postcards? Or an old person who doesn't understand how the internet works? Admit it, you are Peggy Noonan, aren't you?

On a less bitchy note, they should honor Bush's legacy with a Mount Rushmore of the shittiest presidents. It could be in Appalachia somewhere. Who do you think? W., Harding, Fillmore, and Hoover?

Love,
Ronnie

Bush is down to his 29% base- seven-toed bayou-dwellers, mongoloid banjo-players, and evangelical yokels who pass around rattle snakes in church on Sunday

"all you bad peepul mean.. me like geogrge w. him good. you bad. you no like country. him make sayf and free . me for greoge w. me like."

What our slope-browed friend seems to be saying here is that, in principle, about 100 million U.S. citizens apparently still think ol' George is just swell. And I'll bet you a dollar if he ran today he'd win again.

Ohh, my head. Someone please crush my head ...

@greatgooglymoogly: You're probably right. A short guide to voter rationale:

"George Bush mean. He make me lose my house. Bad man. Oh no, other man does not wear flag! I like pretty flag! And other man has terrist name. I cannot vote for terrist. 4 more years!"

@ronaldpagan:

Ronnie,

This is how I have done every blog, well, I have ever done. I acknowledge the writer and address my comments to him/her in a respectful fashion. I never thought of it as a "gimmick". When I started blogging on a serious site, the text-message approach just didn't appeal to me. I rarely read the comments and I am not looking to make a name for myself.

If you need "gimmick", limericks are all yours! I do, however, like Peggy Noonan.

A second Mr. Rushmore is an intriguing idea, but we simply can't afford one at this point.

Sincerely and respectfully,

Mr-Clark

@Mr-Clark:

Bro,

Text-messaging? I don't think we've regressed to the "hey u there i need a ride plz" level yet. But give it time, give it time.

And we can't afford another Rushmore? Nonsense! I don't have the stats at my fingertips, but if the Bush administration can spend $1 billion telling teenagers not to have sex, they can sure as shit carve my boy's bewildered face into a mountain!

There is an old lady named Noonan
Who has the Republicans swoonin'
Whenever she panics
She swallows some Xanax
To give her frail psyche fine-tunin'.

Hugz,
Ronette

@ronaldpagan: Correction. $87.5 million a year on abstinence education. (Some blog on my google results said a billion, but it was a lie.)

[www.amptoons.com]

@ronaldpagan:

Ronette,

To save money, how about just the back of Bush's head? It would be symbolic as well.

Thanks for the Peggy limerick!

Sincerely, respectfully and off to bed,

Mr-Clark

Bill Clinton's approval rating on the day of his impeachment was about 67%. I'm guessing -- wild guess -- that the people who disapproved of Clinton then are the same people approving of Bush now.

At any rate, we know who America's real and for true enemy is. And if we had the balls to invade large chunks of Tennessee we could do something about it. But, you know, the food ...

@Mr-Clark:

Mr. Clark,

Hey, this is kinda fun. I feel like I'm writing one of those paper-letters that the old folks are always talking about.

Off to bed you gentleman, you.

Sincerely and junk,
TheMac

@NoWireHangers: I suspect his punishment will be confinement for life to Texas. Plus a fat pension.

@ronaldpagan: I fear Pres. McCainiac will be even worse. Bush at least is lazy.

First there was Dick Nixon
Sayin' "I am not a crook.
Then there was ol' Reagan
Who never read a book
Then we had
your dear old dad
that supercilious spook
But, W, you're the worst
the cake you've really took.
What will you think of next?
Oh my God, I cannot look.

"I rarely read the comments and I am not looking to make a name for myself."

In future, your comments shall go un-read by me.

Thank you.

And Ron Paul stayed flat.

29%? Mission Accomplished.

To divert attention from his unpopularity, what Dumbya needs is a Category 5 hurricane to hit the Gulf Coast.

@ronaldpagan:

"On a less bitchy note, they should honor Bush's legacy with a Mount Rushmore of the shittiest presidents. It could be in Appalachia somewhere. Who do you think? W., Harding, Fillmore, and Hoover?"

Kick Hoover off the list, he actually did some good things when he wasn't president. Add Buchanon. As for a site, I nominate Great Smoky Mountains National Park. National Geographic has this to say about it:

"Terrible traffic, vista-choking haze, invasive species, and crowded trails number among the problems facing the beloved Great Smokies, a treasure house of biodiversity. Topping all negatives are the "horrible," "appalling," "distasteful" gateways of Gatlinburg, Pigeon Forge, and Cherokee: "theme parks, outlets, and billboards." Federal policy hasn't helped, either: "Kicking people off 6,600 tracts of land to create the park has led to huge cultural problems."

Sounds Perfect.

@ronaldpagan: Meh, Mr. Clark's not hurting anyone. Actually, in a world wide web full of e-lawsuits, death threats and Chris Crocker doing the nude booty dance on X-Tube, formality is a little refreshing once in a while.

However, is Peggy Noonan a real person...seriously? I mean, she really THINKS that way?

IRAN, here we come!

But who's the trollop in the front seat? Why, it's Harriet Myers!

@capeclod
I remember William Manchester suggesting a Nixon Monument: a deep, deep hole in the ground "with a railing to protect the viewer from vertigo." As fun as further disfiguring the Great Smoky Mountains might be, I'd say let's take this either to Death Valley or another very low spot in America: the Salton Sea. As a Californian, I'd argue we deserved it. We killed Harding with bad seafood, we gave shelter to Hoover's papers at Stanford (in the Hoover Institute, aka "The fellowship of the wrong"). Our crap movies and tv created a poisoned culture where the underachieving, slouching millionaire president could be mistaken for jes' plain folks.
Now all we need is a name for it.