Wonkette

Everyone in my office is staring at me for laughing so hard.

Okay, I'm assuming you spelled "morons" wrong as a touch of satiric irony?

Or no?

Damn, Freddie! Get yourself some Soul-Glo!

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At least Fox News is reminding us that uppitiness and bitterness are hardly a new problem, as Douglass was always "free this" and "stop torching that."

You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to climb under my desk with a bottle of whiskey, cry, and try to convince myself that you made this up.

Greed is good -- take that, Mr. I-wrote-my-lessons-on-a-shovel.

Fox only claims to be "fair and balanced," not "accurate and historically correct."

That's ridiculous. Everyone knows Frederick Douglass was the first black to play in the major leagues.

@csperanza: I think it's from this classic reactionary protest... [lonewacko.com]

fox news' theme song should be played by a jug band.

...its a well known fact that slave fought to remain in bondage!

The Lincoln-Douglass Debates, by Roger Ailes:

Lincoln: As I would not be a slave, neither would I be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy. Whatever differs from it, to the extent of the difference, is no democracy.

Douglass: Right on, bro!

Well, at least it wasn't Michael Douglas.

Smart Genius.

By winning that election, Lincoln prevented Douglass from becoming the first black member of the senate. Finally, Lincoln being a republican makes sense.

i dont know which is worse: hearing hillary lie and yap for 20 hours, or having Fox News confused Fredrick Douglass with Stephen A. Douglas...jesus fucking christ this country is going straight to shit

confuse*

The graphics guy at Fox attended Yale as a legacy student.

Brilliant

@susan_g: Actually, Douglass lost his Senate bid because of some things his preacher said about the white man keeping the brothers down.

A news outlet doesn't need to spend money on research or accuracy when it has pretty blondes in short, tight skirts.

Ironically, Frederick Douglass looks like Hillary and Abe Lincoln looks like an uglier Barry.

@csperanza:

Wonkette is alluding to this picture

@PutinMuscles: At least they got the century right...they could have confused Steven A. Douglas with Steven A. Smith.. [thenastyboys.files.wordpress.com]

Republican "history" is hilarious!

Maybe Fox needs to start spelling news "noos", like the items at the store that aren't really what they say, but kind of are: krab, cheez...

Well, Douglass had as much chance of winning a seat in Congress as Clinton does at winning the Dem nod at this point, so it's not an unfair comparison, even if it is a gross misrepresentation of one of the most pivotal political events in American history.

@Godless Liberal: I had the same reaction. And I hate whiskey.

In a sad way, I get this. I myself recently had a brain fart like this.

Setting in a Taqueria, the kid setting next to me is talking about the Mexican "reconquista" (sp?). I am thinking to myself, boy, Mexico City might be harder to take this time, but if they want us to reconquer them...

Geesh, you're the Little General, you carry the Fox News position in a bunch of debates, and they don't even know to use your graphic.

[www.sonofthesouth.net]

@PutinMuscles: You really don't know which is worse?

Sheesh! This country IS going straight to shit.

You in the reality-based universe just don't get it. Fox News said Lincoln was pro-slavery and debated a former slave and insurgent. They have made their own reality and we must abide by it.

Just as we have done ever since that night eight years ago when the radio station I listened to reversed their projection that Gore won Florida because...Fox News said Bush won.

This reminds me of Edward R. Murrow once said.

"It's probably not a good idea to get totally baked and then try to run a 24 hour news channel"

Or maybe it was my roomate who said that. I don't know. I was probably baked at the time.

@Obamaton: yeah, but this involved multiple brain farts on the part of multiple Fox employees. And I don't think it counts as a brain fart if the person is just too dumb to live. Then it is normal brain activity.

Forget this! Can we get back to the Smiley Cyprus news?

Did Frederick Douglass ask for some muthafuckin' iced tea during the debate?

Thanks for the history lesson. I, for one, thought Frederick Douglass was Chuck Berry's drummer.

Can we get a photoshop of Obama's head on Miley Cyrus' magazine photo ? Serolf Divad ?

Being as Obama is tall, eloquent and less "experienced", this would cast Hilz in the Douglas role, no? Which would give her a chance to do the entire debate in black face with that neat slave woman dialect she tried last year. You know she'd do it. This would be a debate worth watching.

If Hillary Clinton grew a beard, people would like her more.

Those Right Wingers are always trying to re-write history.

@2goatsforonecow: oh, that is brilliant. She would, too.

Look, when the only graphic you have to deal with all day is Jeremiah Wright in a dashiki, how the hell are you supposed to be all, like, history and shit?

OK, as an archivist, I have to say this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Even better than the BBC confusing Jackie Wilson with Jockey Wilson!

I slept in the Stephen Douglas room at a bed and breakfast once but only because my friend refused to stay in the Shirley Temple room with all the dolls and it was dark outside.
Sara,as an ex-member of my high school debate team I continued to wonder...Hmmm...why do they call the TeeVee things debates?Now I know for sure. Morans.

It's all because of inadequate public schooling, of course. If the people who worked for Fox had been given vouchers and allowed to attend the private/religious school of their choice, they would have learned about Stephen Douglas.

The resemblance of Frederick Douglass to Redd Foxx is uncanny... "Free my people, dummy!" [www.ukuleleman.net]

OK, I spelled it wrong - it's Jocky Wilson, fat white dart player, easily confused with Jackie Wilson, when Dexys Midnight Runners appeared on Top of the Pops in the early 1980s - Wikipedia says it was intentional, but this is the BBC we're talking about:

[www.tvradiobits.co.uk]

Oy vey. Is there *anyone* around FOX with a triple-digit IQ and a secondary education?

Fox News has branded newcomer Frederick Douglass as the perfect presidential candidate.

Sean Hannity: So, Mr. Douglass, you feel like the blacks should not continue to let the Democratic Party to take you for granted?

Frederick Douglass: I am a Republican, a black, dyed in the wool Republican, and I never intend to belong to any other party than the party of freedom and progress.

Alan Colmes: Mr. Douglass, the Republican party hasn't been the party of freedom and progress since...

Sean Hannity: C'mon Alan. Let Mr. Douglass speak. Now, Mr. Douglass, how will you be able to secure this nation against terrorism?

Frederick Douglass: The life of the nation is secure only while the nation is honest, truthful, and virtuous.

Sean Hannity: So what, exactly are you suggesting?

Frederick Douglass: The thing worse than rebellion is the thing that causes rebellion.

Sean Hannity: Are you suggesting that America is somehow responsible for 9/11? I was with you at first, but...

Alan Colmes: C'mon Sean. Let the man speak. So, Mr. Douglass, you are supposedly a candidate who transcends race. What is your view of black/white relations?

Frederick Douglass: The white man's happiness cannot be purchased by the black man's misery.

Sean Hannity: You are a racist, Sir! You are a raving, anti- American racist...

Alan Colmes: Hold on Sean. Mr. Douglass, why don't you wear a flag pin?

Frederick Douglass: What to the Slave is the 4th of July?

Sean Hannity: That's it Frederick "Kunta" Douglass. I've had enough of your anti- American diatribe!

Alan Colmes: Mr. Douglass, you attend a black church. What is its mission statement?

Frederick Douglass: Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe.

Sean Hannity: Oh, so now there's a conspiracy, huh? You, sir, are a BIGOT!!! A whitey hating bigot and a communist. That's Marxist language, Mr. Douglass!

Alan Colmes: Next. Abraham Lincoln, the moderate Republican candidate from Illinois.

Sean Hannity: He's a commie, too. But he's not as scary.

Alan Co

[content.answers.com]

Douglass with his second wife, Helen Pitts, A WHITE WOMAN (she's looking at him lovingly), and her sister Eva Pitts, ALSO A WHITE WOMAN. I've always thought he was one of the most strikingly handsome men in US history. Oh, and a genius auto-didact of unimaginable physical and moral strength who overcame the evils of slavery.

Anyhoo,

He also had a white girlfriend of 28 years who killed herself once he married the other white woman.

So, what happened? Did Frederick Douglass win the debates and yet Lincoln still became President? Did Frederick Douglass somehow win the slave states to his noble cause? Who can tell us if not Fux Nooz???

@RooseveltFranklin: Did the new wife also have a fortune inherited in the beer industry? Just askin'.

@RovesEarHair: I love you. XD

It's like LOLnews but with less cats and more wtf.

I am shocked that Fox and Friends, pinnacle of accuracy that it is, should make such an error.

McCain wanted to see the debates, but the nursing home staff wouldn't let him go out on his own.

No, that IS Stephen Douglas, but the Fox Noos graphic artists just out of force of habit darkened up the image of whoever debates the Repubican.

@CakeHate: This is what the real Stephen Douglas looked like before they darkened the image (upper left):

@superfectablog: Nobody in the U.S. gets any of that Brit trivia you're babbling about. A bit like Steve Martin's plumber joke.

Socket? I said sprocket!

Three sure-fire ways to lower your IQ by 20 points.

1. Strike yourself three times in the forehead, hard, with a 4-pound deadblow hammer.

2. Drink a quart of formaldehyde.

3. Watch an entire episode of Fox & Friends, with the commercials.

Wait, you mean Lincoln didn't debate Buster Douglas?

They should really listen to more Sufjan Stevens.

"Stephen A. Douglas was a great debater/But Abraham Lincoln was the great emancipator"

But this is coming from someone who knows most of his history, chemistry, and astronomy from They Might Be Giants songs.

This just made my day. Thank you Wonkette. Thank you.

@Serolf Divad: Why are all my fellow Cardinals fans so smrt?

@RovesEarHair: Looks like someone spent a little time on wikiquote

I assumed they put together the graphic because no one at FOX could imagine that a Republican was in favor of rights for blacks, so obvioulsy the person against slavery must have been the black Douglas guy.

...so stupid it has to be true

Is it a coincidence that "Fox and Friends" sounds like a Nickelodeon show?

7 three hour debates?!? I thought we had it rough with the 1 year long head start of this bull...

@MagnusMaximus: No shit...
Even if there was one cheerleader who understood the error, she wouldn't make it known.. haah

"This is my wife, Trophy"...

Clearly, everyone here misunderstands their history. We're talking about the FABLED Lincoln-Douglas debates. FOX news was simply using artistic license in recreating an image for us. Some scholars maintain there once existed a book, but that was lost centuries ago. All we have now are Murdoch and Cindy McCain sitting around a crystal ball snorting speedballs trying to figure this all out for us. Thank God!

@UnreliableNarrator: No doubt. My old age has rendered my memory null... or maybe it's the Maker's Mark.

@cyrowski: Hyah. Is that what they're calling Peruvian 8-balls now?

@Doglessliberal:

Jeez. I'm running out of room under my desk and my partner just brought another bottle and some more glasses.

@csperanza:

You are giving this site too much credit. It isn't as smart as it thinks it is.

It watches FOX News, for God's sake...

What is up with that?