Wonkette

Hillary was born in Illinois, attended schools in Indiana, drove a bus in Kentucky, took sniper fire in North Carolina, vacationed frequently in Florida, went into the army in California, lost herself in Nevada, spent jail time in Oregon, had her roots in Pennsylvania, shat Chelsea out in Arkansas.........

I cannot stand this woman. She is repulsive.

Hillary has an impressive ability to be from everywhere in the country.

How many "home states" does she have anyway?

How much did she have to pay that one black guy to appear in this ad?

So let's recap the places Hillary can call home: Scranton, lake house in Winola, Little Rock, New York, and now Park Ridge. Which city will she be from next? Next, we'll here that she spent part of her childhood in lesbian-loving Asheville, NC.

I gave up on the promise of America long ago...does that mean I can't vote for Hillary?

I sometimes imagine what honest political ads would look like:

"Just take a look at my opponent. He's not normal like you people. He's black. And he reads books. Is that really the kind of person a bunch of dumb white people like you want to vote for?"

Arghhhhhh. Please make it stop!

Hillary is a Berliner.

Now, a quiz. Where is Indiana University?

It's in Pennsylvania. [www.iup.edu]

Really, it is.

Also, there's a Scranton Iowa but THAT didn't help her there.

@jagorev: Perfect.

"I'm Hillary Clinton and, oh hey, did you notice how white I am?"

"Where are your children! I must feed!"

Hillary is from Indiennslyorkansas and Childers said nothing.

@audicityofhope: ...by looks of it she ambushed him and caught him completely by surprise. Notice how quickly the shift to the next shot!

See, our man Barry is from Chicago. Last I heard, Illinois is like her true home state, New York; there's Chicago, then there's the rest of the state that hates Chicago.

@shortsshortsshorts:@YixilTesiphon: @graceless: ...I cant wait to hear where she is from when the Puerto Rico and Guam elections begin!

You've won my heart, Indiana. I swear, I'll never forget you, for as long as you fit my current campaign metric. I will make sweet hoosier love to you, and I will call you in the morning. Promise.

Don't stop believin', Hill-dog, hold on to that fee-hee-hee-ling...

@AngryBlakGuy: Soy una Puertoriquenna! She and La Pequena Hillary Clinton will perform the dance routines from West Side Story together.

@AngryBlakGuy: She DID buy a pantsuit in Puerto Rico, and I believe she has eaten children from Guam... I'll have to check my sources.

You know she's desperate and lying, cuz there's no good reason for anyone to admit having any connection to Indiana.

Sorry, Indians. Prove me wrong. Name one thing.

@ronaldpagan: ...she is going to have Chelsea impregnated by Mark Anthony!

Hillary Clinton has ties to every state she needs to win! She was even in Pennsylvania telling people that she was from here as a girl! Laughable.

@shortsshortsshorts: Most of her pantsuits were made by sweatshops in neighboring Saipan.

I love how she found the one angle to shoot Park Ridge so it looks like a quaint small town instead of the stuck-up north shore upscale John-Hughes-movie tweed-collar suburb it really is.

@FerdBerfel:
The Jackson 5?

Wasn't Dan Quayle from Indiana?

@shortsshortsshorts: There is nothing to support that, as far as I know...

How is she even getting one vote? Are people just supporting her to be ironic?

Do you know who else is from Illinois? John Wayne Gacy. Coincidence? I THINK NOT!

Wait a minute, Hillary is a Pennsylvanian - and if there's one think Indianians hate it's people from Pennsylvania.

@FerdBerfel: They host the only Formula 1 race in the U.S?

I am trying here. I used to live in Michigan so I've really only been through Gary on my way to Chicago.

Can't wait for North Carolina..

"A true Tarheel at heart, our family vacationed in Appalachia, and as an adult, I enjoyed staying in some of the finest hotels during frequent trips from Arkansas to Washington D.C."...

According to the Clinton campaign, Barack Obama is the child of a lesser Lincoln.

@illnoise: Not sure what you're calling North Shore (where is lake?), but otherwise this sounds about right. I went to Pk. Ridge once, because there was supposed to be a Subaru dealer there. That turned out to be a Lie. The town feels like an extra constipated Falls Church, or maybe Silver Spring without any Jews. It's an extremely plausible place for an asshole to be "from" - or from.

@boatapple: I was wrong to capitalize north shore. I know it is not a political entity.

@FerdBerfel: Ball State University. Because every frat boy in the country wants a BALL U sweatshirt.

I'd also say John Cougar, but I'd probably get banned.

I'm Hillary Clinton, and there's only two things I hate in this world: pandering, and anything that's not from Indiana...