Wonkette

And people say Barack Obama has a problem with someone he knows.

Does anyone but me think John McCain is hoping Bush continues to be ignored by the press and the public?

...funny(in sarcastic way) how he now claims to be aware of the hardship of the American people; but a few weeks ago he had NO IDEA that gas could hit $4 a gallon? Ironically $4 a gallon gas may actually be pretty optimistic.

He can barely speak Yankistani, let alone English. Booze 'n' coke (esp when the IQ is low to begin with) are bad, mmm'kay?

Locking gas caps, people.

So what the hell has this guy submitted to Congress regarding economic recovery that's been rejected? Iraq war spending? SOMEONE TELL ME!!!!

One of George's proposals was to tie the value of the dollar to that of the quatloo as determined by the Federal Reserve Bank of Triskelion. Didn't fly.

@tillyann: Exactly.
[www.ehow.com]

he's got a bead on this thing ... i'm hoping my check will be enough for a bag of rice AND a new pair of trucknutz.

I've been reduced to this: All I can say is, "Fucking retard."

Can somebody tell him that NOBODY CARE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO BACK TO CRAWFORD YOU IDIOT!!!!!

Even the trees are getting tired of supplying him with needed oxygen, as the indifferent arboreal recipient of his tirade in the featured picture shows.

Just go and give away the fat one at her wedding and shut the fuck up.

@FMIKEA: my sentiments exactly. No need to embellish.

He's brilliant! Know why? I could watch about thirty seconds of that press conference at a time before I was reduced to grumbling and shouting incoherent profanities.

It's strange to watch him cajoling the press. The reporters remind me of cool high school kids at some function where their parents are present so they can't make fun of the #1 class douchebag, whose trying to pretend he's likeable, for fear of punishment. If no parents were there, they'd be giving him a wedgie.

@shortsshortsshorts:
Bush is continually harping on one message: "Make the tax cuts permanent." He insists that until his irresponsible, deficit inducing tax cuts are made permanent, the economy will tank. Once the tax cuts are made permanent, it'll be sunshine and chocolate milk-shakes for everyone from here on out. What the precise mechanism for this is, isn't exactly clear, nor does it really matter. All he needs is to give his 29% a slogan to mouth. He could just as easily insist that "until congress passes a resolution replacing George Washington's likeness on the $1.00 bill with that or Ronald Reagan, consumer confidence will continue to be low and the economy will suffer" and his supporters would be mollified, as they'd have some argument, any argument to cling to.

@nyhfrog: You mean if Dick Cheney wasn't hiding in the bushes with a shotgun they'd be giving him a wedgie.

i just couldn't stop laughing at the fact that the suit he was wearing. It looked a bit too big. And the green tie was a bit too chichi...

"Repeatedly submitted proposal" is a Bushism for his wang.

How is it that altho it can't even speak Yankistani, it can make $$$$$ hand over fist while we change jobs and/or move so we can afford the gasoline we use?

@gingerkhan: My favorite comment of the day.

@shortsshortsshorts: I am sure Dana could give you a full and detailed answer. Maybe to a different question, but you'd get something.

@gingerkhan: So Congress is essentially cock-blocking?

Thank you, George, for making us laugh once again.

Maybe it's too late now, but I volunteer to give him a fellatio in the White House so we can impeach the moron.

Only 9 more months of this clown...Jenna Bush could get knocked up and have a GW III in that time.

"no sign of the bottom"
Oh -- has anybody seen Andy Card lately?

@Serolf Divad: A snark-free serlof post? It must be bad. Somebody, hold me.

So "consumer confidence" and "consumer sentiment" are different things? And they're both quantifiable, somehow? Economics is hard!

@Gopherit: Err Serolf. Damn keyboard.

Joonyour is sucking fumes out of th' merikans empty gas tanks.

@Serolf Divad: ...small correction: The "$1.00 bill" has been officially renamed the "$0.69 bill"

after takin the "wide stance" for the last year and a half, the dem congress has initiated operaton clamped butt cheeks, leaving poor georgie with nothing to do but cock slap the press corp.

@Btwbfdimho:If you choose to pursue this mission and succeed, I will start the fund drive for your monument.

You are a great American.

"Americans are looking for their leaders to come together to work on these things responsibly," said Bush. "I don't think that's too much to ask."

So Bush values responsible leaders?

"Dorkus W. Dildo" is an insult to dildos everywhere.

@Btwbfdimho: They will name entire aircraft carriers after you -- the USS Btwbfdimho, which is certainly a better use of taxpayer resources for the military than slapping Reagan up on a carrier...

@Serolf Divad: I thought he was backing off on the "tax perma-cunt." He was getting a lot of fucking pressure to lay off...

@WhyAreYouWearingStripes:

"Americans are looking for their leaders to come together to work on these things responsibly," said Bush. "I don't think that's too much to ask."

Funny, I didn't think it was too much to ask that he refrain from taking a perfectly fine, smoothly functioning country and run it into the ground to the point where people are hoarding sacks of rice in the immobile, gas-less cars they're forced to live in after getting tossed out of their foreclosed homes while still their kids are off getting shot at in Iraq. But I guess we're both just going to have to learn to live with disappointment.

Your bribe, er check, to vote Republican in November is in the mail! We only pay for quality votes, you know.

Hey! I know that guy! Wasn't he on "Deal or No Deal?"

Somehow, somewhere Chief Payne is sure that this is Bill Clinton / Monica Lewinski's recession.

i especially liked the passage where he blamed high food prices on the farm bill that HASN'T PASSED YET.

@nyhfrog: Unfortch, I fear that's not what's going on here. The press corps is NOT the cool kids.

This is more like when Shaq (a cool kid) said, "My game is like the Pythagorean theorem; no one has an answer." And all the math nerds are like..."but..but..hey!"

And the rest of us (myself included) are like...."Whatever bro! That's funny shit! Give this guy a country!"

@tillyann: Yeah, I am totally stoked that my '95 Civic was one of the last to have a locking gas tank (a holdover from the LAST time siphoning was a cottage industry, in the '80s). And it gets 38 mpg on the highway. So I'm pretty smug about the whole gas-price thing right now.

It must be so hard for W as he gets close to his final days. Which will he be most remembered for, his disastrous foreign policy or his disastrous domestic policy.

@Mediahohoho: Now that is Old School Wonkette. Hey, have you ever noticed that you never see Chief Payne and the Snorg Girl on the same thread? I'm just saying....

Re: anti-siphon locking gas tank

A junkie friend - from one of my rehabs- informed me that my locking gas cap imprisons gas as much as that duct tape I hoarded in 2001.

Someone who wants your precious move juice simply punctures your tank twice from beneath and places a bucket underneath to catch the yummy nectar. It's faster than siphoning and requires less coordination!

Tools needed: pointy philips screw driver, bucket, funnel, SUV

Thanks for that valuable tip Joey--it'll be coming in handy in the months to come!
W.'s performance this morning was a real blood pressure raiser, particularly when he blamed this whole mess on the congress that wouldn't (I'm guessing here, because he was, as usual, vague as well as truculent) let him drill up and down the Pacific coast and ANWAR, while simultaneously building nukular power reactors that would bring down the price of natural gas. While swearing at him furiously, I was simultaneously counting my fingers to see how many months we have left of this angry little dwarf who knows that the buck stops anywhere but his desk.

@Joey_Brill: Thanks, Joey! You're a doll.

Hell, I'd blow him in the white house myself if it would get the bozo impeached. But I'd make him wear a rubber and I'd use lots of Scope afterwards.@Btwbfdimho:

@Joey_Brill: I see you are ready for this dystopian vision, give or take about 10 years or so:

On the roads it was a white line nightmare. Only those mobile enough to scavenge, brutal enough to pillage would survive. The gangs took over the highways, ready to wage war for a tank of juice

I always wanted to wear football shoulder pads and homemade chainmail and raise feral children in the last remaining petroprocessing facility east of the Missisip....

I found myself listening to him and thinking what a mouse of a man this is.
So sorry mice, but that's what I was thinking.
I know grade-school kids with more character and smarts and morals than him.

Fucktard.

@Serolf Divad: Along these lines, why isn't the MSM reporting that this year's bogus tax rebate is nothing more than an advance on next year's tax refund? It has to be paid back in next year's taxes: got a $500 refund this year? Plan on ponying up for taxes next year after this "rebate" is taken into account. God forbid the truth be told about this, else people just dump it into savings (bwahh, yeah, right) to be ready to pay for taxes next year. Then, whomever the poor sap the supreme court elects president will have to deal with this next year and will be sorely tempted to make another cut to make up for this shell game. Folks will cheer, until gas goes to $8 a gallon on news that the dollar is now at parity with one S&H green stamp.

Assclowns.

@Btwbfdimho: Then you should get this bumper sticker, spotted in suburban Seattle (code for white wine drinking volvo drivers) this morning:

We're all wearing the blue dress now.

@sluggo: Provider 1 "Don't these friggin' pain collars work at all anymore.?" Provider 2 "Why does this stumblebum always jump onto the wrong colored squares.?" Provider 3 "If this freak lays one finger on Shahna. . ."

What did he want Congress to do? Give a fellatio or two to whom and where? Or a wallbanger? A Hersheys? A nation wants to know. What'sthe point of his speech?