Rudy Giuliani has well-known problems reconciling his Catholic faith with his favorite hobbies: destroying fetuses, living with terrible homosexuals and cavorting around town dressed as an old-fashioned gal. Yet he took High Mass when Pope Ratzi visited New York recently even though the Pope surely hates him. The Archbishop of New York is so upset with Rudy’s participation in this ancient pagan ritual that he has issued a statement condemning Giuliani, who was mayor of the city when planes crashed into two of its buildings. Read the “ha-ha funny” statement below.
“The Catholic Church clearly teaches that abortion is a grave offense against the will of God. Throughout my years as Archbishop of New York, I have repeated this teaching in sermons, articles, addresses, and interviews without hesitation or compromise of any kind. Thus it was that I had an understanding with Mr. Rudolph Giuliani, when I became Archbishop of New York and he was serving as Mayor of New York, that he was not to receive the Eucharist because of his well-known support of abortion. I deeply regret that Mr. Giuliani received the Eucharist during the Papal visit here in New York, and I will be seeking a meeting with him to insist that he abide by our understanding.”
Easily the gayest thing we’ve ever read.