Wonkette

Awwwwwww nuts! You heard me. Nuts!

...how many different flavors of crazy do you have to be lose the nomination of the Constitution party.

So the Constitution Party has at least 510 members? Amazing!

Was Chuck Baldwin the one in Sliver?

Don't lose hope, Alan... there's still the female circumcision party.

Ends his chances? My friends, his chances are just beginning. The Constitution Party was a leaden anchor around our dusky Messiah's ankle; he may now form the Keyes Party and hand out his homebrew (Keyestone) with Keyes Lime Pie at polling places to insure his write-initude.

It's still better than he did against Obama where he lost by 57% instead of losing by 50%.

I hear the Reform Party is still looking for a Candidate...

...for some reason it is really easy to imagine Alan Keyes in white robe leading some weird doomsday cult!

BTW, I love his left arm outstretched, palm up gesture. One of these days he'll actually conjure fire.

Race was not an issue in this election. Alan Keyes is a white woman trapped in a black man's body.

McCain hasn't selected a running mate yet, has he?

His appeal to Xenu is still outstanding. His future is beyond the sky!!!

I hear the Black Lotus Snake Cult Party is still looking for a candidate. They say the fundraiser/cannibalistic orgies are fabulous.

Pity. Time to jump the shark...in San Diego.

Seeing as how the constitution Party is racist as the day is long, this isn't a big surprise. Their number 1 platform is to reboot the constitution to the state it was in on day 1, meaning Keys would only be 3/5ths a person, loose the right to vote and suddenly available for purchase by the first southern gentleman farmer with a net who wandered by.

He is such a queen!

was he a preacher? that dude spews out a bunch of nonsense while shaking his head and with quivering voice

@PutinMuscles: He is not a preacher. His family tree goes back to failure. Alan is a horrible, horrible failure. He can't even get a bunch of white extremist to vote for his obviously white skinned ideals.

Overacting 101.
And does this National Moral Code he speaks of include disowning your gay children?

@PutinMuscles: No, but he was in the high school production of "Brigadoon."

@ronaldpagan: He's a queen who rants about discipline.

@SuperRounder: No, wasn't he in Biodome with Pauly Shore?

Norma Rae.

Hasn't Keyes learned anything from Hillary? Just because you lost, doesn't mean you should stop running.

The absolutely most awesome quote from the story:

"They just rejected the most qualified man to be president," said Tom Hoefling of Lohrville, Iowa, Keyes' national political director. "Chuck Baldwin will have no impact on this election whatsoever."

Wow, a Baldwin finally amounts to something.

KEYES-DRACULACUNT 2008!!!!

Alan Keyes has but one option left. Time to run for the nomination of the Connecticut for Lieberman Party.

Why isn't this man on the supreme court (yet)?

@norbizness: If that wizard dude from the cell-phone commercials ever retires or casts himself into a river of molten lava by accident, then Keyes is their man!

Still, he chessed-off the Iowa-Register's lady, so this year's political competition was a complete success!

@CthuNHu: "Chuck Baldwin will have no impact on this election whatsoever." He sure got that right.

@CakeHate: Adding some Keymentum to the Joementum? Genius! Keyes/Lieberman 2012! Hell, it could be the JoKe campaign.

Now can we get Gov. Martin O'Malley to issue a proclamation that Alan Keyes will be arrested if he sets foot in Maryland again?

I hear the Confederate Party is looking for a nominee.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I was so looking forward to the Libertarian/Green/Constitution Party C-SPAN Debate because of him!