Remember way back in JANUARY when math-hating yokel Mike Huckabee looked, for about five minutes, like he might win the Republican presidential nomination? Soon you’ll be able to relive the magic all over again, because he is writing a book, about his campaign! He’ll share secrets like how to gain 35 pounds on the campaign trail without even trying; how to talk your wife into putting a paper bag over her head during Jesus-approved procreative activities; and why Chuck Norris would have made the best Treasury Secretary since Alexander Hamilton.
Huckabee’s book was sold to Sentinel, a conservative imprint of Penguin, in exchange for a lifetime supply of Corn Nuts. This handy how-to guide to failure will join a shelf full of other august tomes, including Quit Digging Your Grave with a Knife and Fork: A 12-Stop Program to End Bad Habits and Begin a Healthy Lifestyle and Kids Who Kill: Confronting Our Culture of Violence, also penned by the prolific Arkansas governor.