Wonkette

No wedding present for you!

LAURA BUSH: Wait until you've run over and killed someone, dear. You'll see that the right people can be so helpful.

Can't Laura just say John McCain instead of "The Republican?"

Either she's too bombed on meds to know that it's Walnuts or views him the same way she sees the help. "The chauffeur", "The Maid", or "Mr Happy Time Fun Fun Pill Guy."

As for Jenna. She's probably got a bit of a Mandingo fantasy going on or more likely, she's just retarded.

And she's supposed to be the smart one, right? Ugh.

Jenna thinks that voting for Barry will give her some street cred in Baltimore.

Is this shocking? I mean, do you think that the GOP is the party that would accept a girl who sucked 39 dicks?

@NBAWRITER1: Good point. It only wants closeted males who have done so.

She probably had to blow McCain a few times too, to get his maverick ass off Papa's case in 2004. She never got over the Ben-Gay and Absorbine, Jr. taste.

@ManchuCandidate: I thought the first person you call in the case of an emergency is Mary Kate Olsen. At least that's what we do here in NYC.

She must have been adopted, because she sure as hell didn't get the "being open to learning about things" from her dad.

Oh, and, yes, she is into anal.

@The Real JR: oi. that comment was to @WadISay:

"You cannot not misunderestimate how a children can learnz. The new things. TMing on the inertwebs."

When asked if she knew the Republican candidate's name, she replied:

"Maverick?"

@NBAWRITER1: Right, only a guy who's sucked 39 dicks. They have standards, and stances to uphold.

@NBAWRITER1: 39 dicks? In a row?

If Laura and W taught Jeanna "abstinence only," then of course she's into anal.

PS -- Does this mean she can still wear white on her wedding day?

I thought that we only learned that the children of Republican's through Facebook?

[www.slate.com]

I wonder if McCain will dance with the bride at the reception? Then again, Walnuts dances solo and does a real mean robot at that.

@si_se_puede:

You beat me to the punch on the first one.

And, to answer your question: maybe, if the dress has a slight tinge of brown.

Haha. You're a funny one, SKS.

Everyone knows Larry King has been dead for 20 years.

No Barbara the younger these days.

I guess nobody told Laura the Republican nomination was pretty much settled. Though , McCain won't be the nominee until the convention.

As for Jenna, I'll give her a few points for trying. After all, I'm sure that neither she, nor her father have noticed that both Dems are primarily running on the idea that absolutely everything he's done, since taking office has been a huge mistake.

Ok, haters, now that she's disowned the GOP, will you admit you want to hit that?

Try to not suck any dick on your way to the parking lot ...

@si_se_puede: She does have a Greek look to her ...

she's showing off her "anal" expression in that photo...

I was impressed with Jenna's transformation from trollop to virginal princess. One can only imagine the cost of that. But this lil rebellion probably means another trip to neurosurgery. Can't have our plutocracy peopled with smart-mouthed whores can we?

After all the overly earnest and/or hostile primary-related blather, all this talk of sucking dick and the anal is a breath of fresh air. So to speak.

@NBAWRITER1: In a row?

@ManchuCandidate: Clearly, Laura Bush is holding out for the Ron Paul reLovutiOn. That's why it's "The Republican" rather than John Black-Baby McCain.

@Glamourdammerung: At once.

@Scott-san: Ah, the sweet smell of budussy in the morning...

@Scott-san: Which is a miracle, since anal and cock sucking rarely lead to fresh breath.

@ReelectTilden: No, I'm still holding out for Barbara. That's Barbara the twin, BTW, not big Barb the linebacker. And who knows how rebellious this is -- she might, like a lot of other Republicans, just think McCrone's not conservative enough. Maybe she's voting for Alan Keyes.

Either into anal or bi-curious or into black guys.

Or all of the above.

@ReelectTilden: Do you mean other than with a 2x4 or my truck?

@LittlePig: or constantly looking over her shoulder, waiting for Cougar to strike!

Oh sure, we get the retarded one.

@HomoPolitico: No , she's the one who can drink the most upside-down margaritas.

The other one's supposed to be the smart one, the one who went to Yale.

You know, like her dad did.

As dumb as Jenna is, saying that she's open to learning things automatically makes her smarter than her Dad. That's not difficult though.

@TheMac: Sounds like my biography.

The other story I read was almost as bad as this...it took them forever to get to the important wedding details.

Everyone knows Jenna Bush is a Ralph Nader fan. They used to date for a while, too!

Does anyone know why Jenna has so much more name recognition than her sister? It's always Jenna, and ... the other one, the prettier brunette one who is allegedly also smarter in comparison.

So, when did McCain come out with a plan to raise the tax on alchohol?

@ManchuCandidate:

Obviously, Laura is a Paultard.

@si_se_puede:

Brown?

@Lionel Hutz Esq.: Isn't McCain's wife a beer baron? If anything, the only good President McCain could bring us would be cheap, cheap beer.

@dmac: But it's not even good cheap beer.

@dmac:

Very true, but I have a feeling that the Bush twins are pure tequila drinkers. It is hard to felate when you are all bloated from beer.

@dmac:

Would it be the same way Bush has brought us cheap, cheap oil?

@SayItWithWookies: Good point -- she may be voting for Nader.

King was going to ask if she was open to having a threesome with him and her sister. But that whole other party thing is important too.

@LittlePig: McCain uses Absorbine Sr.

@ReelectTilden: "Call me Barry... okay, now call me Howard, yea.... call me Franklin..ooo."

I pointed out months ago that its obvious Jenna hates her father (and possibly America as well, since the two are the same thing). She's written a book sympathetic to someone with AIDS, people. You don't think anyone who does that actually votes for the Republikkkans?