Florida Lawmakers Take Brave Stand Against Fake Testicles

Greetings famous squirrel!With hot-button issues like immigration, the environment, and the failing real estate market crowding the “national conversation” these days, it’s nice to see a few ballsy Floridians with the cojones to take on important issues like fake testicles, and how some tasteless individuals like to dangle them from trucks. The brave Florida state Senate passed an amendment to a transportation bill that would levy a $60 fine against anyone with TruckNutz or generic-made fake testicles dangling from their rear bumpers.

Of course, some naysayers are arguing that there are more important things to legislate against than fake balls. Sen. Carey Baker, who proposed the amendment, acknowledged his critics’ concerns and said that “I do have more important things to do this session. But I think this is important, too.”

TruckNutz are harmless decorations you put on your bumper if you are a closeted homosexual with a genital inferiority complex. You can even put them on your motorcycle, if you are a happily “out” homosexual with a genital inferiority complex.

TruckNutz – The Ultimate Truck Accessory
Florida Senate amendment takes on ‘Truck Nutz’ [Tallahassee Democrat]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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  • nbawriter

    Where Big Sale on Truck Nutz was born … oh, memories!

  • Rodney Badger

    Well, when I was a male exotic dancer in 1994 I worked with a man that called himself the Truck. When he would come out on stage he would back up to all the ladies and act like he was “driving” off. When he did, his Nutz would start swinging back and forth and it was just so funny that I had to make them for the entire world to see. Ok. That answer is BS. Let’s just say it is amazing what you and your buddies will come up with when your drinking a case of bud and sitting around a camp fire!