The Clintons have been in politics for so long that even their shit list has a shit list. And that exclusive Who’s Who of former friends has only grown as this soul-deadening primary season drags its festering carcass ever closer to the finish line (sometime next year, we think?). Let’s review the top seven lucky people who won’t be getting Christmas cards from Bill and Hillary this year, unless those Christmas cards are stuffed with anthrax.
Because they are such fans of polls and segmentation, the Clintons have helpfully organized their shit list into several elite tiers.
- At the bottom rung: people who haven’t yet thrown her over for Handsome Barack Obama but probably will. Those people will remain nameless until they get up the nut to make a declaration one way or the other.
- The middle circle of the Clintons’ Hell is reserved for those who never formally committed to Hillary and for whom she never did any special favors. Still, they are dicks for supporting Obama. To wit: Senators Bob Casey, Amy Klobuchar, and John D. Rockefeller.
- Then you have your Claire McCaskill, who enjoyed the Clintons’ fundraising help and then turned around and made catty remarks about gropey old Bill on Meet the Press. She will be followed around by a swarm of bees and usurers once she gets to Hell.
- Robert Reich gets a collective “feh” for endorsing Obama, which could hardly have been a surprise. The man writes for the American Prospect, after all, so he is a Communist.
- And at the very top of the legendary Clinton shit list are turncoats like Bill Richardson and Greg Craig, both former staffers who now publicly criticize their old benefactors. Their “Christmas cards” from the Clintons will arrive flaming and reeking of human poo, before they explode in a hate-bomb of shrapnel and AIDS.
A Clinton supporter says that John Kerry is also “dead to us,” and in that the Clintons truly reflect the mood of all Democrats.
Clintons Sort Friends: Past and Present [New York Times]