John McCain Is Still A Dangerous Old Nut

As long as you're on John McCain's side -- you know, as long as you're either a journalist or a lobbyist -- the old man will charm you with stories of his dirty deeds, and he'll crudely insult the president's daughter, and eat your donuts. But for the people who actually have to work with the elderly opportunist in, say, the Senate, John McCain is a furious stupid monster. Let's review the latest "McCain's a dangerous old psychopath" story, from Sunday's Washington Post .

Once the political journalists get tired of the Barack v. Hillary contest, next week, they will need something "new" to write about. Chances are, the only available novelty subject will be the violent senile elitist insanity of Senior Senator John "Walnuts!" McCain. Here are some nuggets from Sunday's WaPo :  

• He says "My Friends" when he's badly reading a bad political speech, but when he says the singular "My friend ," and you're an adult member of the Senate, that means he's about to try to punch you.

• Because McCain is a "Republican," that means the colleagues he's usually impotently trying to beat up are also old Republican men.

• "Former senator Bob Smith, a New Hampshire Republican, expresses worries about McCain: 'His temper would place this country at risk in international affairs, and the world perhaps in danger. In my mind, it should disqualify him.'"

• McCain also tried to hit fellow Arizona legislator Rep. Rick Renzi.

• When he's not pathetically trying to punch other old men -- such as Strom Thurmond -- he is screaming "nose to nose" at them. Everyone hates his guts.

• Liberal McCain has attacked Vietnam War veterans who are his Senate colleagues for not being true 'Nam Vets, if they weren't tortured for as long as he was tortured after crashing his plane after dropping bombs on Vietnamese children.

• Yet, McCain was more than happy to become the vice-presidential nominee for Democrat John Kerry, who was painlessly struck by a purple band-aid by the Swift Boats.

• His petty vendettas extend to state-level staffers in Arizona who were offended by his petty vendettas.

• That staffer, like many other Arizona political staffers who have had the misfortune to cross McCain, was an innocent lady.

• He loves to call ladies the "C-word," especially if the lady is his latest rich wife who pays for his miserable existence.

• The hobbit-sized McCain is double-furious when his own volunteers don't build a six-foot-tall stage platform behind his podium to make him appear "human."

• Horrid old McCain regularly threatens to "destroy" people who anger him by, say, running political campaigns.

• He should be lethally injected and dumped down a sewer, back to Mexico, for the safety of America.

 McCain: A Question of Temperament [Washington Post]