Top 10 Reasons Hillary Is Finally Finished

 

She’s in it, and she’s in it to win, but everybody else is just kind of looking at their watches with an increasing sense of annoyance. Let’s take a look at the Top Ten reasons why Hillary Clinton won the last debate so much that if she doesn’t drop out after Pennsylvania, Howard Dean will personally have her shipped to Gitmo.

1. Bill Clinton’s labor secretary, Robert Reich, just endorsed Obama. Even more insulting: He did it on the Huffington Post blog.
2. The latest Newsweek nationwide poll shows Obama ahead of Hillary by nearly 20 points — they were just about even only a month ago.
3. That same poll shows that BitterGate and BosniaGate were great successes for Team Hillary: Just four in ten voters “view the New York senator as honest and trustworthy,” compared to 61% who say the same thing about Obama.
4. Barry also picked up “Democratic elder statesmen, former Sens. Sam Nunn and David Boren, who will serve as advisers on Obama’s National Security Foreign Policy team.”
5. These guys are also “Former White Southern Senators.”
6. So the grand Superdelegate gains after BitterGate are six (6) more superdelegates for Obama, and two (2) for Hillary.
7. The AP reports tonight: “Clinton needs to win a forbidding 65 percent of the delegates in the remaining primaries to draw even with Obama in pledged delegates. It’s a share she has achieved only once so far, in Arkansas, where her husband was governor for more than a decade.”
8. Hillary had a death-mask baby with Burger King.
9. But Obama has the Robot Zombie Screeching Umbrella.
10. Liberals seem to be slightly more misogynist than they are racist. Hooray for America!

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

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