Wonkette
She's in it, and she's in it to win, but everybody else is just kind of looking at their watches with an increasing sense of annoyance. Let's take a look at the Top Ten reasons why Hillary Clinton won the last debate so much that if she doesn't drop out after Pennsylvania, Howard Dean will personally have her shipped to Gitmo.
1. Bill Clinton's labor secretary, Robert Reich, just endorsed Obama. Even more insulting: He did it on the Huffington Post blog.
2. The latest Newsweek nationwide poll shows Obama ahead of Hillary by nearly 20 points — they were just about even only a month ago.
3. That same poll shows that BitterGate and BosniaGate were great successes for Team Hillary: Just four in ten voters "view the New York senator as honest and trustworthy," compared to 61% who say the same thing about Obama.
4. Barry also picked up "Democratic elder statesmen, former Sens. Sam Nunn and David Boren, who will serve as advisers on Obama's National Security Foreign Policy team."
5. These guys are also "Former White Southern Senators."
6. So the grand Superdelegate gains after BitterGate are six (6) more superdelegates for Obama, and two (2) for Hillary.
7. The AP reports tonight: "Clinton needs to win a forbidding 65 percent of the delegates in the remaining primaries to draw even with Obama in pledged delegates. It's a share she has achieved only once so far, in Arkansas, where her husband was governor for more than a decade."
8. Hillary had a death-mask baby with Burger King.
9. But Obama has the Robot Zombie Screeching Umbrella.
10. Liberals seem to be slightly more misogynist than they are racist. Hooray for America!
Comments
I'm starting to believe the theory that she's trying to weaken him so WALNUTS! wins, dies from cancer of the oldness, and leaves things open for her in 2012. Like, it's been a fact that she has to defy the laws of mathematics in order to win for like 6 weeks now.
+ Watch video
The Young Turks - Clinton Says - Obama Complaining About Debate
Hillary is finally finished, because she is unbelievably annoying and just doesn't get it and because admitted she hates the internet:
[www.huffingtonpost.com]
Hillary Clinton Slams MoveOn With Karl Rove's Lies
You guys aren't seeing the big picture. For the first time in history either a black man or a woman will definitely be a major political party's candidate for president. Who on earth would want such a historic parade of glorious racial and gender transcendence to end right now? Hilary is keeping the candle of equality alight for us all.
@SuperUnison:
That's exactly what I think she's doing. But, if Obama does in fact become the Democratic nominee and then on to become President, I don't think she'd allow him to survive (mortally) a full term in office.
+ Watch video
Hillary flip-flopping about MoveOn
@Agro:
Bullshit. By Hillary continuing this nasty fight all the way to the convention, she does nothing but hurt the party. She's a manipulative and deceitful woman. A President Clinton would be the worse thing for this country, next to WALNUTS!. If she wants to maintain any bit of dignity, she would bow out now.
The Robert Reich thing probably hurt all the more, based on their past romantic history.
@jojoma: I could be wrong, but I think Agro was being all sarcastical and stuff. Go out and have more fun!
@Nigerian Business Executive:
Well if Agro was being sarcastic, then I apologize.
She needs to withdraw because I am beginning to hate her so much I'm afraid of getting tagged misogynist.
Hillary's "win or die trying strategy" aka "it takes a Hillary to burn a village" was especially disturbing at the debate where she happily played into the Rovian line of questions spewed forth by ABC. She could have taken the high road with Barry and together they could have vanquished the enemy. Instead she pandered to flag pins. She'll never drop out. Unless Obama somehow wins PA this will go on until the Convention, or until Howard Dean starts poppin' caps.
@NoWireHangers:
LOL "it takes a Hillary to burn a village"
Or
"To win the election, you must destroy the Demrat Party."
@jojoma: I beg to disagree. I think President Clinton would be worse than WALNUTS! On foreign policy, with her 'umbrella' covering the entire Middle East, she has placed herself waaay to the right of even John McCain. President Hillary == endless war.
Also, barring a miracle, I don't think there's any chance she'll drop out after PA, no matter what happens. She will never, ever, ever stop running for President.
10t. Anderson Cooper's dolphin trainer.
She needs to quit because I'm sick and tired of being called a misogynist every time I say I don't want her to be a president just because she's a woman.
@jagorev:
I will concede the point. After watching that embarassing debate Wednesday night, I was even more terrified of the monster (to use Samantha Powers' word) that is Hillary Clinton.
Sam Nunn has joined Team Obama? Kill me now.
Wah wah. Obama don't like the bad words he is going to get from June until November, when he loses his ass to McCain. He is so over. And all you little whiners are being conscripted straight to Iraq, where you belong (but hopefully just in the Green Zone). Gawd, I am just so tired of cottage cheese misogny.
@BoHan: And misogny is misspelled [sic], but get over it. I am a poor bitter gun-holder.
And reason #11: Dems really need another Dukakis 1988 to ensure the GOP survival.
So on to the General Election! Yea!
I say Barry will win in IL, SC, GA, and MD, VT, HI, and CA. All other states will go for Grandpa John, and PrickKos will call them racist mother fuckers forever...
Sorry, Ken. I don't think that Nunn, Boren, and Reich are superdelegates. If they were in that count, that is... a lot of folks have been endorsing Obama recently.
not-so-bright . I would really like to hear the reasoning in thinking that any state that went for Kerry in 2004, will choose McCain over Obama in 2008? I just don't see it.
Why does Hillary Clinton hate that "quitting spirit" that's such a part of America? She should move to a country where they eat fancy cheese, and keep striving to achieve a goal no matter how bad things seem! She's like a foreigner with all that hippity-dippity "tenacity" and "effort" crap. Don't even get me started on that creepy "having goals" thing she does, she wouldn't get two feet in my all-American town with that nonsense!
Quitting makes it easier for the GOP anyway, so they only have one target to go after relentlessly instead of dividing their efforts between two. And isn't giving the GOP that freebie really what will win the election for us? I smell a pivotal mooooomennnnnnt!
my republican, fortune 500-ish, rep-stripe tie wearing, north shore guy dad has a $150 bottle of Dalwhinnie on o'bama in PA*.
this is a shift of seismic proportions and i can't quite my head around it.
@JimNewell: I doubt AC is much of a dolphin. With that dignified silver 'do he's gotta be a top.
@jfruh: Feh. How many dwarf super delegates does the Lollipop Guild have? Maybe .25?
@NoWireHangers: To be fair, the H-Bomb only torched the Bosnian village after taking sniper fire.
While I've been channel surfing and occasionally stopping for a few vomit inducing moments on Fox News I've noticed their talking points against Obama are the same as the ones being used by Clinton against Obama. How odd... except she's more effective, she's not drooling or rubbing herself or anything like that.
@Munkles: And why does Hilbotz believe in slash and burn primary politics? No matter. I have enuf Kibbel coupons saved up to survive the first year of President McAgee's term.
Hillz will never, ever go away. When Obama is sworn in as president, her hand will shoot out of the bible ala Carrie.
@not-so-bright: I see you're getting the most out of your Liberty University education! McCain will sweep the nation! New York loves John McCain!
[cbs3.com]
(watch video)
PHILADELPHIA - Barack Obama was greeted by the largest crowd of his campaign Friday night in Philadelphia. Some 35,000 people jammed into Independence Park to see the Democratic presidential candidate, four days before this state's crucial April 22 primary.
Ken, you apparently don't see many shitty horror movies. In shitty horror movies, the homicidal maniac keeps popping up and killing anew. Even in the last shot, when you think whew, glad that's over, the homicidal monster pops up yet again, cut to black, and any characters you thought had survived, you just know, are really in for it, because that homicidal monster has had some shit to put up with, and now it's fucking pissed. And what is America 2008 if not a shitty horror movie?
It's not that we Progressives are misogynistic, it's simply that Barry's so much more do-able.
Male, female, straight, gay: if some Charleston Heston-level global disaster struck, we'd choose to re-populate* the world with beautiful, hopeful, insta-multi-cultural Obama-ites. For our future!
* Or in the case of m/m coupling, make wild, fulfilling hawt monkey-sex until we were both too old to care about getting it up anymore.
Will straight men please stop saying they would do Ben Affleck or George Clooney or Obama please? You don't represent me.
@Trai_Dep:
Amen! That's something the American public really need to bear in mind when voting. If Hillary's own husband isn't interested, why the hell would she think that rest of us would be?
(3am @ in the Obama White House Master Bed Room)
Barack: "You fired up, baby?"
Michelle: "I'm ready to go!"
@CatsRule:
So you're saying that you don't find anything remotely attractive about silky smooth Barry Oh!Bama?
On a different note, I know that Hillary has a lot of support from the "gay men" demographic, which I really don't understand. The only logical explanation would be that she would be the ultimate "fag hag"*.
*Disclaimer: I am in no way insulting homosexuals.
@jojoma:
+ Watch video
Ken Layne,
She's in it to win!
Howard Dean will personally have her. Take a look at the Top Ten reasons why Hillary Clinton won the last debate:
1. Bill Clinton did it on the Huffington Post blog.
2. The latest: New Hillary!
3. Ten voters view the New York senator as honest and trustworthy.
4. Barry picked up Democratic elder statesmen.
5. These guys are former whites.
6. The grand fix for Hillary.
7. The AP reports tonight: "Clinton to win a forbidding 65 percent of the delegates in the remaining primaries!" Even Obama is informed.
8. Hillary had a baby with King!
9. Obama has the Zombies.
10. Liberals seem to be slight. More for America!
You see, editing is key. (Or, just pure crap...as it is late.)
Sincerely and respectfully,
Mr-Clark
+ Watch video
+ Watch video
Best Hillary impersonation ever.
@CatsRule:
Oh I'm so glad you posted those videos! I saw them some time ago and thought she got Hillary spot on. SNL should seriously consider hiring her. Lord knows she's a better Hillary than Any Poehler.
correction: *Amy* Poehler
Tomato, Tomoto...
You guys are quick to throw Hillary under the bus. Especially at a time when Obama just is being looked at.
Something tells me it gets worse for obama in the general election. His terrorist buddies and personal corruption with the RESCO guy were BIG stories in his hometown political campaigns. They haven't gone away.
@jfruh: Hillary's campaign....HOW DO WE KILL IT?
@suburbman: Hillary supporter, eh? Identify yourself: old woman or old gay?
Hey, it's the first time being a black man has been a political advantange intstead of a liability. Give us this one.
Does anyone remember when the comments used to be as funny, if not funnier, than Wonkette itself? Can this primary fucking end already so we can go back to commenting on ass-fucking and senators-by-day, strippers-by-night please?
@suburbman: Yes, but he WON his hometown political campaigns. Ayers is not a buddy as far as I can tell, but someone who is very active (and accepted) in Chicago. See Lynn Sweet's latest story.
Sam Nunn is backing Obama?
Who next? David Duke?
@suburbman:
An inability to articulate clearly, based on whatever head injury you sustained, earns you some pity.
Regurgitating discredited talking points long past their best-before date earns you contempt.
Inability to remember the name of the "terrorist" or spell "Rezko" earns you scorn.
But, being consistently unfunny ought to earn you summary execution by the Wonkette gatekeeper. [Assuming Denton left one behind.]
Now, run along and tend your lawn or trim the hedge, all the while clinging to your Remington, your King James and your xenophobia.
Or, as a very wise poster here has repeatedly suggested, you might consider the following:
Eat a dick.
Eat many dicks.
There are children going without dicks in India.
@audicityofhope: We will all die for Obama.
Canuckledragger: "Eat a dick."
Like it's a bad thing?!
@QueerNinja:
Not at all. I'm not the author of the quote. That honour goes to another poster here who has shown a mild tolerance of Canadians, but with whom I share a short fuse for the 'tards in our midst. NOT teh gayz, just the 'tards. If confronted with a gay 'tard, I will explode from confusion.
@Nigerian Business Executive: Yes. That was sarcasm. ON THE INTERNET.
Formerly white senators? Boren and Nunn are black now?
Now that Hillary has denounced and rejected the activist fringe that is MoveOn, I am praying that she will take a swipe at Wonkette.
David Letterman is getting really lazy.
@Agro: Don't tell me. Tell Jojoba or whatever. I gots your funnies.
How do we reclaim Wonkette from the earnest self-righteousizers?
@suburbman: ...But would you have hawt lezbo monkey-sex with her?
The defense rests.
@Canuckledragger: Please do not feed the trolls.
@Nigerian Business Executive: Seriously, this place is overrun with Obamatards, those bipolar RSS guy and Tony the Tiger, and low grade misogyny since Megan Carpentier "left" and all the good commentators quit in protest.
@Dr. Spaceman: Well, I don't agree with you on all yur points (I think I'm one of the few who wasn't sorry to see The Cult of the Megan Über-Personality depart), I just wish people who have honest political opinions and ideals would stay the fuck out of my entertainment zone and go hang out at Kos or Huffpo or in some café that sells vegan carrot cake with tofu cream cheese icing (and let me write my interminably long sentences in peace).
Don't you find Clintards worse than Obamatards with their poorly phrased dogma?
Where can I purcahse nude photos of Michelle Obama?
@Nigerian Business Executive: A -tard is a tard.
Hillary has found her way to get over the top. She has just given a speech to a large group of devil-worshipping cannibals and wistfully told them of her life-long relationship with Satan, and that she had a human arm for lunch yesterday. Film on Fox Noise any minute,
Sometimes reality is funny all by itself.
The new Clinton campaign song, as reported by "On the Road" at CBS.com [www.cbsnews.com]
Well, I don't really know her, I only know her name
But she crawls under your skin, you're never quite the same
And now I know
She's got something you just can't trust
It's something mysterious
And now it seems I'm falling, falling for her.
....
She don't like losing, to her it's still a game
And though she will mess up your life
You'll want her just the same, and now I know.
You guys are forgetting whose evil plan all of this really. Hill's neverending dirtying of Barry = McCain = four years of unmitigated disaster = a national outcry to repeal the 22nd Amendment. Clinton in 2012. And not the one with ovaries.
The question is: who will tell her that she is really finished?
[graphics8.nytimes.com]
Hillary deepthroats microphone for amazed teenagers who can almost vote. (She's not finished!)
Why the hell isn't the MSM talking about Obama's ENORMOUS rally in Philadelphia last night? Not even C-SPAN has reported anything! There were between 40,000 and 60,000 people there. The Pope can't even draw crowds that large.
@Dr. Spaceman: Did the Carpentier (or, as you imply, Hillary) supporters left ... did they bring their flag pins and clingin' guns with them?
@