BREAKING: HOT DISH SARAH PALIN GIVES BIRTH, KID HAS WEIRD NAME

 

Ding ding ding, the bun’s out of the oven! “America’s Hottest Governor” and the one and only GILF of Alaska, Sarah Palin, has delivered her fifth child and second son! Here is the statement from the Governor’s office about their new boy, which they have awkwardly named Trig Paxson Van Palin. “Trig is beautiful and already adored by us. We knew through early testing he would face special challenges, and we feel privileged that God would entrust us with this gift and allow us unspeakable joy as he entered our lives. We have faith that every baby is created for good purpose and has potential to make this world a better place. We are truly blessed.” Congrats to Sarah, her husband, and Trigger Von Bill Paxton Palin. Enjoy making No. 6, Mr. Palin! [Alaska Report]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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15 comments

  1. The 3-Legged Man

    After 5 kids she still looks like she’s in her early 20′s. If she had decent legs she’d be perfect, but those things are like tree trunks.

  2. columnv

    She’s the president of horrible names: “The Palins have four other children including Track, 18, Bristol , 17, Willow , 13 and Piper, 7.”

  3. Chuckie Jesus

    Dammit, I don’t want to hear nothin’ else about us black women giving our children stupid names for, like, EVER.

  4. Beezling

    Come on people, this baby was born for Anagrams!

    Vaginal Tax Spin Porn – Combine twister, nudity and February 15 and what do you get?

    Nix Vagrant Snail Pox – Vagrant Snail Pox, a scourge we must eradicate

    Ox Plans Raping in Vat – Just stay out of that vat, brother.

  5. Mike

    Thank God – she could have given the baby some strange Islamic sounding name like – I don’t know – Barack Obama (the initials are BO – geez something stinks). What a bunch of petty people you all are!!!!

  6. Rev. Dr. Billy Bob

    You godless heathen libruls will prob’ly be publishin’ some SWIMSUIT photos of her from when she was in the Miss Alaska Pageant. … well … we’re WAITING . . . .

  7. Special Agent Jack Mehoff

    Hey, wait a second! Howcome there ain’t a bunch of teenage boys standing up and speaking out on behalf of abstinence only education? I mean, if it’s so ineffective and all other variables being equal, that should translate to more action all around for them.

  8. multipleARCOMS

    The baby’s name is nothing compared to the story of how this kid was born! Getting on a plane after her water broke??? If she were an ignorant teen, maybe, but she’d already had 4 kids – she could have given birth as fast as the bedraggled Catholic mom in Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life!

Comments are closed.