John McCain To Launch Massive 'Old Man' Tour Next Week

John McCain is your grandfather, but older. He's also bored and wants to beat Barack Obama. Combine these things together and you get his latest gimmicky week-long tour. This one's based around the Great Depression and rural areas that had no food during the period. It will be McCain's first visit to many of these destroyed ghost towns, as he was too old and decrepit to visit them in the 1930s.

Here is your grandfather's older self babbling about some crap at today's annual meeting of the Associated Press:

During the Great Depression, with many millions of Americans out of work and the country suffering the worst economic crisis in our history, there rose from small towns, rural communities, inner cities, a generation of Americans who fought to save the world from despotism and mass murder, and came home to build the wealthiest, strongest and most generous nation on earth. They were not born with the advantages others in our country enjoyed. They suffered the worst during the Depression. But it had not shaken their faith in and fidelity to America and its founding political ideals. Nor had it destroyed their confidence that America and their own lives could be made better. Nor did they turn to their religious faith and cultural traditions out of resentment and a feeling of powerlessness to affect the course of government or pursue prosperity. On the contrary, their faith had given generations of their families purpose and meaning, as it does today. And their appreciation of traditions like hunting was based in nothing other than their contribution to the enjoyment of life.

Ah, so people used to be poorer than they are now and ate dirt and walked around in rags and Barack Obama's full of baloney.

... Meaning?

Next week, I'll begin a tour of places in America that do not frequently see a candidate for President. They are places far removed from the prosperity that is enjoyed elsewhere in America. I want to tell people living there that there must not be any forgotten parts of America; any forgotten Americans. Hope in America is not based in delusion, but in the faith that everything is possible in America. The time for pandering and false promises is over. It is time for action.

The TVA workers that have been outsourced to Calcutta will be happy to see their New Great Depression overlord, loading ice into the icebox just like in simpler times.

 McCain Announces "Forgotten Parts of America" Tour [National Journal]