Wonkette
Now you probably heard about this over the weekend, Hillary drinking the alcohol, because it is obviously the story of the campaign. The one that will determine the presidency. For a little more background: Hillary was being very working class this weekend by drinking alcohol and then shooting guns, in that order. This is what the poor blue-collars do, when not eating Mexicans or, conversely, shooting Mexicans. Take these factors, add some Jesus speak, take the square root and divide it by the average U.S. gas price ($3.37), don't forget to carry the zero, and it equals OBAMA'S ELITISM. More picture of Hillary getting shitfaced in bitter sugary Indiana below.
Here is Hillary toasting her first drink: a frosty mug of Natty Ice or whatever The Poors can afford. Except for the PASTIEST HUMAN ALIVE, who we will call "Agnes" because it sounds old and pasty, on the far left. She is drinking actual cement. "When In Indiana...", as they say about tourism. As for these other people, who knows what jobs they don't have. Probably coopers or farriers; who gives a shit. It's important, however, that you notice the figure to the right of Hillary. He is named "Dad" according to his sweatshirt, and he will play an important role in our tour. He hooked up with Agnes later in the night (third base + BJs). Nicccce.
Ruh roh, Hillary only had two bites of her cobb salad for dinner that night — she claimed it was too BITTER, a state in which humans never find themselves. That means she's three-sheets-to-the-wind after a mere three sips and would maybe like to sex this local corporate suit, who we will name "Lindsey." Dad, however, catches wind that Hillary Clinton is standing right next to him and quietly tells Hillary that Lindsey is a known Gay around town. "Oh all the gays love meee," Hillary says and then adds, "ha ha gayyy la la." Hillary is clearly going to be "that girl" tonight.
Lindsey, the town Gay, watches as Hillary downs a SoCo Lime, because she wants to ask Lindsey for a kiss and is nervous. She still does not understand that he is gay. The crowd anxiously awaits her drunken sex-lunge towards Lindsey. M. Night Shyamalan in the purple thinks Hillary will make a surprise, twist move: instead of going for the kiss she will pour water on Bucks County's aliens. The grinning pervert behind her is thinking about naked children. Your high school basketball coach is behind her. He is Lindsey's father and hates his gay son.
Lindsey suddenly disappeared into thin air, because M. Night Shyamalan revealed he was a gay ghost this whole time! The remaining party ignores Shyamalan, for sucking. Dad wants to get in on this round of shots too but will settle for club soda because of his thyroid or lipid count or whatever else he can't afford prescriptions drugs for.
(HE'S ALSO JUDGING THE SHIT OUT OF HER.)
Lindsey kills Shyamalan shoots Agnes screws Dad judges Hillary vomits on high school basketball coach disowns Obama marries Lindsey, the end.
AP Photos
Comments
And then they pulled out the guns and shot the place up. World, meet Hillary , the first cheney-democrat.
Mmmm, Indiana bat piss.
Yeah...I always felt the most sorry for the super needy chicks.
That's why I always bought them breakfast.
god, what a drunken whore.
Hillary can down some vodka (just ask WALNUTS) but she can't dance worth shit.
Worst LNS post evah
Meanwhile, the Compassion Inquisition she attended Sunday failed to ask her about the lying, the drinking and the guns. And only about Obama's big bad evil unpardonable use of "bitter"....Sweet.
Man, I wasn't going to vote for that New York liberal, but then I saw her down a shot of Crown Royal with a bunch of dudes in a bar in Indiana. She has completely changed my opinion of her.
I think she is taking that "which candidate would you most like have a beer with?" poll question a little too literally.
I think this is a great idea. Hill and Barry ought to pre-party their next debate. Then, we'll hear what they really think. Plus, I'm pretty sure Obama's a lightweight.
well, gee, I was going to go with the candidate I thought had good ideas and the ability to lead and to bring people together, but I saw these pics of a bloated white woman in an ill-fitting pantssuit who made $109M over the past few years pandering to "the common folk" in a bar and I decided to go with her.
@ReelectTilden: But Muslims can't drink....
Reminds me of the time I went to a blind tasting that compared Miller Lite, Bud Lite, and Coors Lite. BTW -- blue-collar America has the rich all figured out: the coopers got work over at the microbrewery, the farriers are doing better than ever at the state-run horse track and casino combo, and the buggy whip people can't keep up with demand from the sex boutiques.
I hear Hillary took her top off after the drinking contest. Apparently even the hardcore gun loving, poor drunks in PA even got sick after that.
When the phone rings at 3AM, Hillary will already be up, puking her guts out.
@ReelectTilden:
That's actually the best idea I've heard in a while. Ply the candidates with alcohol and find out what the really think.
I dunno, I think if Hilz wanted a kiss from some nancy-boy, she would just have latched onto him with her jaws of Chtulhu and ripped it out of him.
dude, i heard obama was smoking a fat reefer with some kids in indianapolis
Is this Betty's bighting bitter banter better than Obama's smooooth butter?
I wonder what brand of malt liquor Obama prefers . . .
Wonkerati are too elitist. Let's go for a drink too. Actually I always thought Bill's McDonaldism was also just a decoy ploy for the hoi polloi.
These photos make me think of Lucille Bluth.
Except, I'd vote for Lucille Bluth. She's evil, but she embraces it.
I'm thinking that the "drunk cackle" could probably shatter windshields in cars across the street from the bar.
Barack eats shitty o-dervs in gay frisco while Hillary gets shit-faced at a redneck sausage factory.
You go girl!
I'm gonna set aside the snark for a sec (which *cough* I never do) and say that this is in the top five Wonkette posts ever, even reaching back to the AMC days of pajama-blogging and ass fucking.
Shouldn't she have followed the pictured performance by getting into an air conditioned SUV, driving someplace where they have caged up birds, then shooting an old guy in the face? Wait. that would show her fitnes for the VICE presidency.
I hope nobody is taking off points for spelling.
I was honestly stunned when I saw video of his. Unless those shots were of iced tea, it seemed like she was pounding the booze. I had no idea she had it in her. Even if she did only one shot and chased it with 1 MGD, that was surprising.
Hillary drinks? Something other than the blood of the young?! I had no idea.
@fornya: where'd my T key go?
Hillary does boilermakers for votes.
Bill did chubby interns.
What a pair.
Photo op screams: look at me, look at me! I am not an ELITIST (despite having a know it all tone). Meanwhile, Obama, in full damage control mode, was seen milking a cow with a bible and rifle nearby.
Replace that Crown Royale with the Sir Walter Raleigh the common folk drink and you'll see why we're bitter.
@Darehead: yeah, except his ass was so big back then....
good times.
i'm going to say it. shooting soco? fucking gross! only sorority girls do that shit. where in the fuck is the jim beam? or motherfucking wild turkey?? that's what the blue collars drink, dearie.
When Hillary drinks too much whiskey, her cheek implants fall out.
OK, I have to give this one to her. Unless that was apple juice in her shot, which I would not be surprised about. Barry needs to man up and do a keg stand or something!
I'm with the others who say Barack and Hillary should get lit before Wednesday night's debate. I will watch FER SURE!
@southernbitch:
Yep. Factory worker here and Wild Turkey is the drink.
@fornya: It's the PTSD. Alcoholism is her only escape from the memories of her ill-fated trip to Bosnia.
few people like to drink more than I do, but after seeing these pics, I am quittin the booze - til at least early aftnoon. the hill-bill could tie this whole thing up if she did some rifle hits (as seen in Platton) of high grade hydroponic bud, then danced to some Marley natty dread.
Surely some McCormick's or Canadian Club would be more appealing to all those optimistic laid-off factory workers she's trying to woo. "Crown" Royal sounds elitist, like it is somehow better than you.
You think she drank enough so the guy in the Dad shirt started looking good?
But did Hillary do some Jaggermeister shots at an ice luge? Or down some "sex on the beach" shooters? Or drink several plastic cups of grain alochol and vodka and fruit juice "jungle juice?" Geez. Non-story. Complete non-story. So she does a shot whiskey! Who cares--welcome to the real world, people. Come on.
Brilliant! She's trying to give the entire state beer goggles.
Hillary to PA Voters: 'Did I ever tell you bout the time my daddy took me drinkin and shootin?'
Hillary to West Va. Voters: ' Did I ever tell you bout the time my daddy took me to work in a coal mine'?
Hillary to Voters: 'Did I ever...(insert local story here)... blah, blah, blah...pull my finger.'
Fucking fake. Every ounce of her. WHat a phony.
I don't think it was very patriotic of Hillary to drink Canadian whiskey.
@Laura Ingalls Wildest: "Is this Betty's bighting bitter banter better than Obama's smooooth butter?"
Huh?
And sorry, but malt liquor would only undermine her claim that he is elitist.
So is the gentlemanin the last picture celebrating his position as a father or as a charter member of Drunk Ass Democrats?
i could use a shot of Wild Turkey. I skipped breakfast this morning.
How many times have I gone on a Friday night after work rager with Hillary ? Bowling. Shots. Guns. Beer drinking into the wee hours.
This is the 35 years of experience she's been talkin' about, beeyotch.
You spend a night out with Hillary -- lemme tell ya -- you'll be misremembering and misspeaking a whole bunch of stuff from the night before.
Sniper fire? Maybe. Lemme get back to you.
You know what? Good for her. Girlfriend could use a drink or twelve.
but did she denounce and reject that elitist mentality?
PA has the worst 'Girls gone Wild' scenes ever!
@Ranger99:
True. You won't hear me tell Hils to show her tits.
Ahh, good for Hils. Besides, it's a fact that the greatest politicians have been fine boozers ala Winston Churchill. With the exception of Woodrow Wilson, of course. What the hell shot is that, though? Can't be Jager.
What's wrong with Hillary?
I usually go crosseyed AFTER a shot of whiskey,
Not caught on cameras was when she went to the 'other' side of town, proclaiming "What's the word? Thunderbird!"
At least she wasn't drinking Heineken. F*** that s***! Pabst! Blue! Ribbon!
@Darehead:
You're right: hashish it is, then.
Elitist whiskey sipping doesn't cut it. I'm waiting for the shot of her downing orange Mad Dog 20/20 or Strawberry Boone's Farm. C'mon Hilz, show that you're down with my peeps!
@Laura Ingalls Wildest: OE
The alcohol matches the clothing ... this must have been planned ... Then again, the crossed eyes seem quite authentic. Must have started when she was out drinking Whiskey with defected Bosnian snipers back in 199>5< ...
The real question is does that place have a jukebox, and did she put in five bucks and play all Boston and AC/DC? That's how you pander: balls to the fucking wall!
@ReelectTilden: Second!
@Doglessliberal: Actually, I have to say I really kind of like the maroon thing she has going on. At least by comparison to said pantsuits.
I wonder who took her home that night?
Like, I mean drove her home because she's too drunk to drive.
...if anyone needs s drink. I hope she became the "drunk girl everyone hates."
Too good for domestic corn squeezins...for shame!
Seems like some kind of Mexican shamanistic ritual - where all the candidates just keep pounding them back until only one remains.
The more I think about it, the more I like that idea.
Anyway, betcha she doesn't drink Crown Royal when she campaigns in Kentucky... Hillary "Panda" Clinton
@Doglessliberal: "Phoebe Moses, better known as Annie Oakley, world famous sharpshooter, was born in 1860 in rural Darke County west of Columbus on the Indiana border. Oakley was an incredibly accurate shot with rifle and six-shooter, alike. At the age of 12 she shot the head off a running quail. At the age of 15, with her mother's farm about to be repossed, Oakley killed game for resale to restaurants in the county seat of Greenville. The money saved from this venture was enough to pay off the farm's mortgage. Sometime later, at the invitation of Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany, she shot the ashes off his mouth-held cigarette." http://www.ohwy.com/oh/a/aoakley.htm Knowing Hills Oakley, she'll challenge Barry to a circus game, stick a fag in his lips, (her evil knows no bounds), and pull the trigger. The biggest difference between Hillary and Annie, is that Annie NEVER wore pants. She was a master sidesaddle equestrian, and quite a stylish lady.
And after her 12th shot, Candidate Clinton broke out into a commendable rendition of "Take Another Little Piece of My Heart".
[i116.photobucket.com]
http://i116.photobucket.com/albums/o32/rigby2reilly/Miss-Hillary-Oakley.jpg
@smartsickandpoor: Help! I can't get the image to appear, except if you click on the first photobucket link above (Hillary as Annie Oakley). And is there anyway to edit this shit? I'd like to delete these empty repetitive entries. Can someone give me a few pointers? I just joined and this seems a little different from other sites.
Why lately does it always descend into 'who would you rather have a beer with'? I really don't give a shit if either candidate drinks beer. I drink tons of beer.
I grew up in PA, hunted, fished and bowled with my atheist father who works for a Bucks County newspaper. We had guns but never clung to "god".
They really should cut PA in half or in 2/3 and create 'Pennhio'. The southeastern part of the state gets no say over the rest. It sucks.
@smartsickandpoor:
Nice poster, thanks.
Hillary's inner monolgue:
"Sweetie, we're gonna need a mess-a drinks to kill this bug up our ass and score us some beef-jerky"...