Pathetic Dollar Means All Cocaine Goes To Europe!

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In some terrible news for full-time bloggers, the amount of cocaine being trafficked into the United States from our “southwestern” borders is sharply declining, if lower government seizures are any indication (not like “ha ha that guy’s freaking out”-style seizures, but actual seizures of cocaine. Same thing?) John Walters, the U.S. DRUG CZAR, also says that the purity and and price of cocaine has fallen in our fair country as well. This probably is why Bear Stearns was too lazy to save itself, and also why it took insane risks in previous years when cocaine was still good. So now all the cocaine is going to Europe, where they have a very strong currency. Now they can make crazy loans too! [BBC]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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