Wonkette

This is a picture of one of the guards in Cool Hand Luke.

I know that look! It's the look that says, "Alright, now I get to blow the tits off this whore with my shiny new shotgun!"

I think Mary would beat him up if he did something so heterosexual as to stare/laugh in pleasure at a girl's ta-ta's...

It looks like he's just holding his rod. His professional sportsman rod. I think he's fishing. BUT YOU NEVER KNOW...

EXHIBIT A:

[fauxrealtho.com]

Great, another old guy hanging out at the local Hooters.

Something odd about that photo.
Oh I've got it, he's smiling, and it's not a sneer. Looks like a genuine smile.
Did he have a stroke and they're not telling us?

Whatever. He'd never smile at a woman, not after discovering Lynne's vagina dentata the hard way.

Gawker is promoting "remove image" for a reason, you know ...

@FerdBerfel:
Cheney is happy because he died and finally got to meet his idol, Satan, in person.

@FerdBerfel:

Ferd... Odds are he just shot one of his buddies in the face.

Another day in the life of Satan.

Obviously, Cheney has a fishing pole fetish.

it looks like a giant preying mantis alien thing to me. Probably his cousin from Planet Gleezax with whom he is plotting a global takeover.

@Speed Ball: I really wish I had not clicked that link.

Of course he's smiling, he just killed her entire family on a Vietnam Re-enactment vacation!

Oh my Gawd.... Cheney's got Sara K.!!!

Boys, mount up, we've got to save her!

[Damsels saved from distress are more likely to offer up the segks, right? No? OK, never mind.....]

Not possible - the picture appears to be of Lord Cheney smiling at a naked woman. However, we must consider:

(1) Lord Cheney is a Republican; (2) Lord Cheney is ostensibly male; (3) male Republicans crave boys or men or weiner dogs or poopy diapers or toilets or other non-traditional forms of male sexual gratification; (4) the image appears to be of a TRADITONAL form of male sexual gratification; and (5) Lord Cheney does not smile.

Conclusion: the picture is not of Lord Cheney, but of his synthetically-created twin, Bored Cheney, who has been locked away in the VP's dungeon since the end of the 2004 campaign.

The tits, however, are real.

@FloraWay: It is impressively disturbing, I know.

@Joga: Dammit. I really thought this might have been a cut scene from 'Blue Velvet' or something.

@Speed Ball: I just vomited in my mouth

@FerdBerfel: No, I've seen that pure joy on his face before...oh yeah, it was when someone mentioned the 4000 soldiers who died in Iraq. Those titties clearly belong to a dead girl.

But how can only one hooker make Cheney's Nazi fantasies come true?

Fly fishing doesn't fit with his "bring me cage fed birds so I can shoot them from 4 feet away" method of bird hunting. I always assumed he speared fish in a barrel with a trident or something.

@Joga: It's a whip handle. It's the afternoon kitten whipping.

@WadISay: Yeah, the lights all wrong for the morning kitten whipping.

@Speed Ball:

Fascist Moobs and Dong? You're just trying give Bruce Barclay a desperate last chubby.

@Speed Ball: Is it fair to refer to an old fart who has a banana shoved down his pants as a "monkey", or would that be racist?

@FerdBerfel: It's just gas.
Someone burp him, please.

@WIDTAP: Silly WIDTAP. You can't be racist to a white guy.

@baseproduct: She could commit suicide with him -

Oh, sorry, just daydreaming again.

If you look at the high resolution image, it's clear that it's actually his hand holding a fishing rod...

Joined at the wingnut?

[mycrimespace.com]

@simonster:

It's OK. I already "sploded."

@simonster: So the alleged naked tits are actually Cheney's fingernail and knuckle of his right index finger.

it's called dental floss, Mr. Cheney.

It's the woman on the pack of Camels.
She has a plan.
That's why Cheney is smiling politely.
And bypassing her.
Neither rain, nor fog, nor sleet, nor Plan A nor Plan B shall stay our beloved courier from his appointed accomplished missions.

Dick's "smile" is an ablation of beta-blockers plus pure Abu Dhabi opiates.

It's obviously a fake. Cheney is a Republican. Why would he be looking at a naked woman?

OK, I've got it. What's the name of that Raymond Carver story? You know, the one about the guys who go on a fishing trip? It's in Altman's Short Cuts (Fred Ward was the main character in the sequence) and they just made an Australian movie called Jyndabine out of it. This looks like a still from a new version, starring the well known Angler...

Remember, this guy only shoots birds held in cages.

That,my friends, is an inflatable doll.

@Dave J.: True, but I was once delayed at the Billings MT airport for two hours because it was fly-fishing season and Lord Cheney was arriving. Therefore the entire airport was shut down. What a nice man!

she got "peppered" in the head, neck, and chest area.

Billings has an airport ?

I think he's at Wright-Patterson taking one of the aliens out for a walk. What a nice man!

@simonster: But isn't it creepy how much his knuckles resemble boobs??

It must be a nice change from eye fucking dead Iraqi boys.

If fists really looked like naked women, the internet would be unnecessary.

I actually seen Vice President Dick Cheney the day this picture was taken he was on the snake river. It was very cold day and i am positive that no person would pose naked in this typ of weather. There was also a very small crowd that day maybe twelve people at most in a samll town, so i positive that this image is something else. It is funny though.

WWWWhat we've got here is...a failure to communicate. Some poles you just can't reach. So you get what we've got here today, which is the way he wants it... well, he gets it.

@Speed Ball: I had completely blocked out the memory of Cheney's bulge...be it elephantine cock or colostomy bag, I don't need to know.

I really care for Cheney that much, but it's pretty easy to see that the image reflected is his hand holding the fishing pole. you can see the shirt sleeve coming up. The thumb going over the top and fingers going around back. It kinda looks like the "lady's" shoulders but look closer and you'll see. To think this actually made ABC news too, got a little "egg on their face" for this I think.