Hilarious Signs That It's Not A Great Depression Yet

 Marketwatch wants you to cheer up. Well, not all of you, just the ones with investments and money who are freaking out because poor people are rioting over scarce food supplies, millions of foreclosed homes are sitting empty and unsold, and local governments are no longer able to afford police and firefighters to protect rich people from the hordes. What to do? Laugh, that's what!

Here's a few wacky signs that we're not all the way down, yet, and that the long, horrible Depression that will ultimately be the downfall of this civilization may still be a few months in the future -- according to Marketwatch columnist Todd Harrison:

• "Maltese dogs are still favored over Rottweilers by the elite Park Avenue crowd."

• "Nobody held a benefit for the second-homeless yet."

• "During the 1989-1991 recession, approximately 25% of their financial universe disappeared. The tally for this recession is less than 7%."

• The level of the debt in the system -- even though the IMF approximates close to $1 trillion will be written off by financial institutions -- is unsustainably high relative to the declining economic activity.

• "President Bush hasn't held a press conference to declare that we've won the war against foreclosures."

Ha ha, good luck protecting your house, if you still have one!

 A trading low or a market bottom? [Marketwatch]